I was checking the gallery - a place where you can submit your video for consideration for rating - and found that two of my videos (Italy 2005, Tahiti 2006) are still among the "Most Popular" viewings. AWESOME!
If you have some time, visit my Neptune Mediashare account and check out Italy 2005 & Tahiti 2006. I think you will really enjoy them.
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs.
....go figure. I always knew my fat was "of the devil, Bobby Buche"
Sometimes I find the most interesting things visiting other blogs. I was reading "Fear And Loathing - The Gonzo Papers" and he had the most interesting looking "art" on there. Well, I just got addicted to creating my own splatter art. I really should get back to work. Have fun creating your own.
"Intersecting Bodies - a jacksonpollock.org creation by TravelDiva
During our little vacation to Atlantis, Cara has been caught telling us the following phrases:
1. My Yacht (can't say milk, but can say yacht just fine).
2. My Ocean - that's my girl...it's all her stuff
3. My Money and the famous line - "PopPop, give me MY money" - and she says it with such conviction.
4. My Starbuk (pronounced - Staaar-bukah)
4. My Toys, My Ice Cream and so on.
Basically, whatever you have is Cara's. What ever looks expensive is Cara's. Whatever she wants is Cara's. I thinks she's bluffing on the special ed stuff just to get attention.
We arrive at Atlantis - Harborside. Harborside is the villas you can stay in if you own in the Starwood network of properties. It is nice but nothing like The Westin St. John Villas - not even close. This is more like a suite at the Marriott or something with an efficiency kitchen. It will do.
Now for the disclaimer. I am a travel snob. Period. I want what I want for the amount of money that you pay to go to these places. Atlantis is beautiful and I am "trying" to relax and enjoy myslef, but Atantis IS NOT the place to go if you are trying to relax. If you are thinking you are going to get upscale, exlusive treatment and service (cause you paid a damn pretty penny for that belief) then you are going to be sorely disappointed (as I currently am).
Stike One: You give me a really nice coupon book for all the store and some of the services at the resort. Go on and on about it and how I really should make use of it. Come to find out at my first attempt to use the damn book that all of the coupons expired on April 1st. When I called about it, they said "Oh, we apologize for the inconvenience. We will have to destroy all of the other books." No other offers, no nothing.
Strike Two: "Why, of course, we have wireless internet available." A lie of omission. What they left out in that statement was that they have wireless in 2 lounges over in the Atlantis Hotel and at all of the pool decks. Why the F--K would I want to take my laptop to a location surrounded by water when Laptops and Water have never previously gotton along. What sense does that make. Well, they do have another option - dial up access at $0.50/minute ($30/hour). Have you lost your everlasting mind. Your telling me that you can't afford to put the wireless in the mf room especially in the freakin' villas where people pay for ownership. That really pisses me off.
Strike Three: The place is just TOO MF BIG. It is a great big amusement park with a 15+ story hotel plopped down in the middle of it. The most annoying thing about the place is how long it takes to get to anywhere. 15 min walk to the only decent cup of coffee at the place (Starbuks - everything else looks and tastes like piss water), 20 min to the main hotel, 25-30 min to the danm beach. You can wait 20 min for the shuttle to take you from Harborside to the one end of Atlantis and then you still got a 15 min walk to get down to the beach. The place is ENORMOUS. And I can't stand it. There are people everywhere. There is not one danm thing relaxing about this place since you are constantly walking and hauling your stuff to get to anything worth your time. AND HEAVEN FORBID that you forget anything in your room or have to go back. You just lost an hour in the process, regardless of whether you are staying in the main hotel or you are at the villas. RIDICULOUS.
Strike Four: MF WRISTBANDS. What the Freak is the damn deal with the wristbands. If you are caught on any of the water "adventures" without the wristband of the day - you are summarily ejected from the "adventure." No questions asked. Erin had a run in today and will be submitting a complaint. After telling him that she was a owner at the resort, he still ejected Erin and Ashley from the lazy river. They had floated to the other side of the resort and had to walk (30 min) back to their stuff. No excuese. Come to find out, you are required to stop at a pool kiosk (good luck trying to find one) and get the wristband of the day. BULL. Why don't you just issue a pass/wristband to everyone WHEN THEY MF CHECK IN! Why didn't you say anthing to us AT CHECKIN about the damn wristbands and the the pool natzis that are lurking aobut. I don't have time for that nonsense. I'm supposed to be on a "Exclusive Tropical Vacation." MY BUTT. Like I said before...A freakin' amusement park for the masses.
Strike Five: I expect things to cost more (soda, drinks, water, food) when I travel to resorts and what not. I completely understand the concept of making a profit, profit centers, cost centers and the like. We are building a resort ya know. But DAMN! ...A small bottle of water should NOT cost $4 - the same as a freakin case of water at Giant. The cost of things here is outrageous. To make it even worse...they only have a free shuttle on ONE day for you to go into town to the grocery store to purchase food for your villa. They no longer have the grocery delivery service. At this point, I'd rather starve than to continue to pay these prices.
This is only day 2 of our stay. I'm sure I'll be back with more Strikes against this monolith. Warning - spend your hard earned vacation dollars elsewhere.
What would most of us do without our sisters, confidants and
shopping, lunching, and traveling girls? Let's celebrate each
other for each other's sake!
TO MY GIRLFRIENDS!
It is good to be a woman:
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with
the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3 Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our
privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger,we are aware that we
will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence
because they aren't listening anyway.
Dare to Dream,
Lisa L. Steptoe
Lisa Steptoe of Ellicott City, MD sent this amusing story about her 12 YEARS in the business and one of her more unique convention experiences:
My husband and I got in "The Business" back in 1991 and because my husband was really excited, I was a "supportive wife." We drove to our first function 4 days after signing up with our upline. My concern, of course, was where we were going to stay. No worries, we were told.
Everything is taken care of. We arrive at the hotel and, to my surprise, we were sharing a room (2 double beds) with 2 other couples and 2 babies under the age of 2. I immediately had a diva fit and sat in the corner until it was time to leave for the convention center.
At the convention center, it was complete pandemonium with everyone jumping up and down, spraying breath spray in the air and acting possessed.
They left off the rest of the TRUE story due to space. Here it is for your amusement (since I didn't save it as I originally typed it, I'm retelling it here)...
...I thought for sure that I was in an episode of Twilight Zone or something. We get back to the hotel room and sleep on the box spring since WE WERE SHARING A ROOM WITH SO MANY ADULTS and INFANTS. Definitely NOT a Diva Moment. We wake up the next morning and I "assume" we are going to get some breakfast before returning to the Matrix. I ask about where we are going to get some breakfast and my upline wife asks me if I would like a food bar since we are going to go directly to the convention center. BULLSH---! What I heard her say was, "Do you want a "FOOBAR?" I went OFF - like snapped. "What the FU-- is a FOOBAR? I ain't eatin' nothing I can't identify. What the FU-- is that SH--?" My upline wife is/was a nice, quite lady - unaccustomed to a wild card as myself. She responds with her usual two responses to a confrontational situation - "Well, Alright" OR "Yes, Indeedy". Since I was still an un-indoctrinated hussy, I responded with - "What the MF does that mean?" NUF SAID. I was hustled to the nearest "kiosk" where I could partake in a danish and coffee... FOOBAR my BUTT!.
Ron and survive the weekend and of course he is "FIRED UP." Twelve Years later - yep, I admit it. Twelve Years later and I finally get him to take the pill that jacks him out of the MATRIX. We did do okay in the business, but along the way we realized that you can make a helluva lot more money (and a lot faster) other ways. Thank GOD.
We never did anything too stupid (like invest in too many tools or functions) that would put us in debt - if it was going to be a financial burden - SCREW YOU! We didn't do it. Thus, the typical woes that you might hear about from other long time business builders about incurring a huge amount of debt and so forth - just didn't happen to us. Like I said before, we were always considered HERETICS. SO BE IT. Our residual checks are awesome and keep coming. Let's see how long that happens before someone gets wise and tries to figure out how we can get cut out from our line of sponsorship.
Anyway, I think this whole thing is just too funny for words. What makes it even more hilarious is that it is an true story. If you want to know more - email me. I've got not problem telling it like it is.
Profile of the Sociopath
- Glibness and Superficial Charm - Yeah, that's her alright. She calls me the other day to ask if she can stay for 2-3 weeks so she can get on her feet. BOO HOO, SOB SOB. When I ask her to give me one reason why I should help her when every time I do - she screws me... She laughs, asks me if I know someone who has a basement they would rent her, and then hangs up when I say I don't.
- Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims. - When I asked her (several years ago) why she would steal not only all of my money but that of her daughter too, she said "I needed it and you had it. What's the problem." DAMN.
- Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right." - As far as my sister is concerned. If you have "it", she is entitled to "it". It is her due for her "suffering."
- Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests. - NUF SAID. She can LIE LIKE A RUG. Period. The lies are so elaborate and malipulative that you don't know if you are coming or going. After 20 years of her crap, I've finally figured out that if she is talking real fast (to the point where you can barely keep up)...It's ALL a lie...just hang up.
- Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way. - A police officer showed up at my house to execute a warrant for the arrest of yours truley for trafficing in drugs and prostitution. After a lengthy discussion, we realize that my sister has been using my name, address, etc as her alias. It takes a week to get the warrant reissued in my sisters name and I have to help the police hunt her down. When I asked her (while visiting her at the detention center), why would she do such a thing...are you even going to apologize, she, once again, told me that she was NOT sorry and she did and would continue to do whatever it took to survive.
- Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises. - She will call at 3:00am (there is never a crisis during normal business hours) asking for me to come to the motel she lives at and bring $65 or she is going to get kicked out. Like right - the owner is even up to ask you for the money and why only $65? When I won't do it, she starts screaming in the phone that we never help her (I've just been raising 2 of her children) and hangs up. CRAZY BEEYATCH!
- Incapacity for Love - it just isn't there.
- Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common. - If you call living in a roadside motel, hanging at the truck stop to "make some money", hanging out with actual crackheads despite being on parole as Living On The Edge - my sister is right there...and she did have a warrant out for prostitution. NUF SAID.
- Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. - Like I said earlier - MANGLED MORAL COMPASS. She is never sorry for any of the stuff she does. Actually told me that "It serves me right" for having to take custody of her latest offspring. "If I had just given her the money for the abortion when she asked for it, I would not be in this situation. WOW. If that don't beat all.
- Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others. - Well, her behavior and lack of impulse control has landed her in the Maryland Correctional Institute for Women twice now...she is definitly working on getting violated back.
- Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc. - Has been in and out of Sheppard Pratt (psycho hospital) a couple of times, barely graduated highschool by going to a special school for troubled teens, mom got her into Coppin State and she lasted 1 week. Really could use some Lithium but refuses to take it - even when she had medical insurance.
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
See all the comments above. Don't count on her to do anything. Always promising to come and see her 3 year old - never shows...and it is probably best that way.
- Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts. - She has had more men in her coochie than most of us even dream about. Out of 4 children that she has had, we are only sure of the paternity of 2 of the 4. At least she batting .500
- Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively. - Expects me to let her move in my house and let her destroy my life so she can do whatever she wants. Over my dead body.
- Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily. - Probably why she is having such a hard time getting social service benefits since she has used so many last names and identities. She barely knows who she is at any given time.
NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION
"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly....)
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!