The Invisible Disability: A Mental Health Crisis in Children

Not your child, right?

How could a child that has “everything” – a loving family, 3 hots and a cot of their own, opportunity, nurturing, camps, sports, ipad…blah, blah, blah…be depressed, have anxiety and think about hurting themselves? How is that possible?

When we adopted our youngest (now 11) she was 18th months old with a myriad of issues from nutrition to delayed speech. We enrolled her at a private Christian daycare where we found out at about 2 1/2 that her ears were fully occluded – she did hear barely at all for the first 2 years of her life. We had tubes placed and had her work with a speech therapist. We were told she had a language delay. We got her into an early intervention program, worked with a speech therapist and started on an IEP (individual education program). We tried anything and everything that would help her overcome and catch up. We thought we were making progress. We got through elementary school and she was doing well. There were the mood swings, the sulking, the refusal to talk and instead of just chalking it up to puberty we decided that over the summer we would get her a counselor to work with her to quell her anxiety about going to Middle school among other things.

…and then it happened. The shock and awe. Our beautiful, smart, athletic, kind girl had (Thank You GOD!) turned herself in to the school psychologist that she was thinking about hurting herself, that she didn’t want to live anymore. Everybody hated her, she didn’t deserve to be here. THE SHOCK. The numbness when you get a phone call from your husband from the ER and the recommendation was she needed inpatient intervention. WHAT!!??

Not my child, right?

Now, I know what you are thinking…”why are they sharing this?” Why are they putting their business out on the street?”

We are sharing our story because we want you to know:

• Yes, I could be your “perfect” child
• It is not your fault. Yes, your child that has everything, has that privileged life could have – GO AHEAD AND SAY IT OUT LOUD – a mental illness
• Parents – you are not alone and don’t have to do it alone
• Every situation is different – every child is different. The triggers/stressors that precipitated our child’s depression might be totally different that what is going on with yours: however…
• WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER GET THROUGH IT

So…what was going on with our daughter? Pull up a chair – this might take a minute.

Our Princess doesn’t just have a language delay, she actually has a Language Impairment Disability and it was only the years of intervention and attention that we got her that she wasn’t worse.

What is a Language Impairment Disability?

The developmental period known as adolescence is generally described as beginning at about 11–12 years of age and continuing until 18–21 years of age, depending on which theory of adolescent development is being used. During these years, considerable cognitive, physiological, emotional, social, and educational changes occur. Language changes too, and the changes in language are affected by and affect other areas of development. When an adolescent experiences a language impairment, whether the impairment is severe, or whether it is less severe so that the adolescent’s language is more likely to be shaky, the teenager is at risk for problems in all areas of development.

Much about adolescents with language disorders remains either unknown or empirically unvalidated, especially for those adolescents whose language problems exist in the absence of other conditions known to affect language, such as specific language impairment (SLI) with regard to preschoolers. This more limited information has some not so positive implications for those professionals trying to provide valid and accountable assessment and intervention services for these adolescents. Many adolescents with language disorders remain unidentified, unserved, underserved, and neglected.

 

A Neglected Group with Significant Problems

Socioemotional difficulties are a significant issue for adolescents with language disorders. Problems with social interactions and even socioemotional difficulties are associated with specific language impairment in preschool years and language-learning disabilities in the earlier school years.

 

There are some indications that these students have difficulties with emotion regulation, a psychosocial issue that could be expected to affect interpersonal relationships , as well as other evidence that has begun to document a decline in their self-esteem as they mature and progress in school. Along with the language disorder, these can persist across childhood and into adolescence. In fact, emotional, behavioral, or mental health issues, such as “mood disorders often escalate during or immediately after puberty”

 

I took the liberty to paraphrase and cut and paste directly from this source:

http://catalogue.pearsoned.ca/assets/hip/ca/hip_ca_pearsonhighered/samplechapter/0205420427.pdf

 

What are some of the signs of language disorders (this list goes up through high school students) I’ve highlighted some of the issues we had/have with our girl.

* Problems with speaking and listening:

• seems unable to follow verbal instructions
• reluctant to speak
• talkative, but talk contains little real substance
• tells stories badly
• more grammatical errors than peers
• stereotypes - clichés and overuse of certain words and phrases. May use a lot of slang and swear words - vernacular language
• problems explaining the whys and wherefores of things - can't put the complex grammar together
• only deal well with concrete and here-and-now matters. Abstract language and ideas are very problematic
• taking a long time to respond; problems processing the information
• shows word finding difficulties; uses lots of 'ums' searching for words, lots of fillers e.g. 'you know', 'its the, oh the, that, um', and non-specific words, e.g. 'thing', 'that', 'stuff'. |
• doesn't follow jokes, puns, sarcasm, metaphors. Takes ambiguous language seriously
• says the wrong thing at the wrong time in the wrong tone of voice; can't hold a conversation following normal expectations
• doesn't pick up non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions or gestures - doesn't know when people want to end a conversation or doesn't recognize the emotional content of people's talk.

 

Problems with school work:

• can't complete homework
• participation in class discussion is badly handled or non-existent
• has trouble gaining information from class lectures and from books
• following the rules of the classroom is inconsistent or does not understand them or the need to follow them
• poor at tests
• can't explain what the problem is, or give reasons and excuses for failure or behavior
• has trouble with the school routines - can't remember the timetable, loses the rooms, can't use a diary well. Poor at working independently
• concentration and attention appear poor

 

Behavioral Problems

• poor self-esteem
• problems making and maintaining friendships
• lost motivation, cumulative sense of failure
• depression, anger, frustration, withdrawal, aggression
• reluctance to participate, including in remedial work
• inappropriate coping mechanisms, e.g. bullying, clowning, copying (cheating), delinquency and truancy

( Sources: McKinley & Larson, 90; NSW Dept. School Ed, 89; Bashir, 89; Buttrill et al, 89.)

 

What was the diagnosis: Major Depressive Disorder with Anxiety; Language Impairment

 

What do we do now? Medication, Psychologist, Psychiatrist, School Counselors, Tutors…and ever watchful parents that will bring every resource & brain cell to bear to give our baby a fighting chance at an awesome life.

As for the Mental Health System – that is another blog post. It is abysmal – especially for children where treatment should begin but more often than not doesn’t and then they fall through the cracks to poor outcomes, incarceration, homelessness or dead. If it wasn’t for my “good” insurance and our complete understanding of our benefits and how the system works (there is 30+ years of medical/healthcare sales & management experience between Ron and I) we might not have had the positive outcome that we did. If it wasn’t for the Steptoe Clan that rallied – it was all hands on deck Tribal Council – and the tight group of Prayer Warriors we recruited in the first hours of crisis – Ron and I might have buckled. I imagine that Ron and I were a sight to behold. Ron with his armor on, calm and cool ready to do battle. Me, with my broom, fierce in the fight of taking no shit; give it to me straight.

 

I hope that sharing our story and being transparent helps is some small way if you, as a parent, are in the struggle.

 

It takes a village.

A Living Doll Making Dolls–Overcoming Adversity w/Dignity

I saw Ariel’s story on the news Saturday morning – Teen Uses Talent to Try to Overcome Obstacles – and that young lady’s resilience in such a tough situation (she has an inoperable cancerous brain tumor, her dad has prostate & bladder cancer, her mom has lupus & diabetes, her brother has autism) struck a nerve.

iCANT not help some way. I can get me one of those dolls.

 

Ariel started making custom dolls to help support her family. I went to the Women’s Industrial Exchange to see her dolls Saturday afternoon and they are more than dolls, they are works of art, just like they said in the news report. I decided I had to have one to help support her.

 

Ariel had sold out of the 50 dolls she had already made! She had made $3000 in a day and was now taking orders. Custom orders. Give her a theme and she will make something for you. I, of course, requested a TriGirl/Fitness Guru theme. I can’t wait to see what she comes up with.

 

Just loved it…and The Women’s Industrial Exchange…what a wonderful place. Since the late 1800’s, the exchange has been helping women in need earn a living discretely. Today, The Exchange continues to serve its non-profit mission as an outlet of hand-crafted goods made by women and men intent on supporting themselves with dignity.

 

If you are looking for quality handcrafted gifts  - Shop Local – Shop Green – then you might just want to check out The Exchange. You will have to call the shop if you want to order a doll as Ariel’s website and links in the online store are not up yet. They were not prepared for the wonderful response, but are diligently working to get it up and running.  Don’t want a doll? She is also accepting material/fabric, old clothing, props- large doll furniture, buttons, hair (put that bad weave hair and raggedy wig to good use) to keep the cost of making the dolls down yet able to use most of the profit to help her family. Box it up and send it to the shop c/o Ariel – The Living Doll or drop it off.

 

My prayers are with Ariel and her entire family.

Steptoe Group, LLC - Mission: Small Business

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Steptoe Group would appreciate your support and vote to help us qualify for a $250,000 Grant from Chase and Living Social.

 

The Steptoe Group is a Service Disabled Veteran Owned Small Business started in 2008 by Ronald and Lisa Steptoe, West Point Class of 1987 and a select team of partners committed to working in partnership with government agencies and private organizations to ensure access by all citizens to evidence based quality healthcare and health education services. The firm is nationally recognized and acclaimed by leading health care, academia, and the government organizations for its innovative solutions in education, training and assessment platforms. The firm’s pioneering work and focus is in systemic improvements to the quality care and support services provided to the nation’s service members, veterans, and their families impacted by war and / or service.

 

Please go to www.missionsmallbusiness.com, click “Support”, find us by entering in Business: Steptoe Group  - State: Maryland – City: Clarksville, and VOTE!

 

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To learn more about Steptoe Group, LLC, visit www.thesteptoegroup.com

No Mandate? Tough Tooties–Suck it up & Die

The Mandate. Let’s say, for argument sake, that the federal mandate that everybody purchase health care or pay a penalty for not doing so is, in fact, unconstitutional. So, we scrap it and also probably throw the baby (healthcare reform in its entirety) out with the bath water.

 

Who cares that there has been no real stab at reform since and probably won’t be anything done about it but more bitching, whining & fear mongering for years after we get rid of it. Why should our elected officials give a rats ass whether the rest of us minions go bankrupt just trying to get healthcare coverage or pay for the care we get when they have the best care on the planet paid for by the minions.

 

Just Suck it up and Die, won’t you please.

 

Never mind the fact that in order to buy a car, register it and get tags you are REQUIRED – MANDATED (granted by the States) to have insurance. True, you can opt out by not even purchasing a car. You don’t really HAVE to buy it – walk or public transp, right. However, let say you get your car, cancel your insurance cause you can’t afford it or didn’t want to buy it in the first place and then you have an accident, totaling the car. Can that person still tow their busted car (sick body) to the repair shop (hospital) and expect it to get repaired (treatment) for free? HELL NO! Tough Tooties – Suck it up sucker – you’re out a car and probably still have to pay the bank for that car.

 

Never mind the fact that in order to buy a house – get a mortgage – you are REQUIRED – MANDATED  to have home owners insurance. True, again, you can opt out by not buying a house. Rent. Let’s say you do rent, but you opt out of not getting renters insurance (your not required to do so) even though you have some nice stuff. What if you get robbed or worse – your rental burns to the ground with all your stuff inside. Can you walk into a clothing store/furniture store with a jar of your ashes and expect to get your stuff replaced for free? HELL NO! Tough Tooties – Suck it up fool – you S.O.L., sitting on a milk crate wearing hand me downs aren’t you.

 

Not so with healthcare. When did healthcare, treatment become a right and if you can’t or won’t pay for it then well, you have the right to get at least basic care for free (while the rest of us pay for that freebie with higher premiums, lifetime maximums, pre-existing condition exclusions, etc)??? You may not get advanced care, but if you sit in that emergency room long enough you WILL get care.

 

I say, HUMPH. You want the liberty and freedom to not be told you have to pay for healthcare? FINE. You want to decide if you should have healthcare coverage – you want the option of saying no thank you, I got this. FINE. Suffer the consequences of that decision then. I don’t want to pay or suffer for it. You don’t have any coverage, you get sick, in an accident or just run your body into the ground cause, shit, you want to eat, drink, smoke, drug yourself into the walking dead…then Tough Tooties – Suck it up or Just Die.

 

…and those of you that simply can’t afford it because you are on minimum wage, work part time or your employer doesn’t provide it – so sorry. Tough Tooties – Suck it up, pay out of pocket for what you can and for what you can’t – just die then. Or petition Congress for some of the money you send in to pay for their Cadillac Health Coverage. That should work.

 

Harsh? Unfair? Lacks Empathy? *Shrugs* Yep. While everyone is screaming from the rafters about the constitutionality of “Obamacare”, how tyrannical, costly & disasterous it is/would be, nobody (particularly the GOP candidates) – NOT NEAR ONE – is screaming about how tyrannical, costly and just downright WRONG the current system is OR even has a suggestion at an alternative. Honey Badgers - Who gives a damn. They certainly don’t.

 

We have the right to life, liberty & happiness…not healthcare. Unless, of course, I missed something. If you want a RIGHT to it, please explain to me you plan for paying for it. If “ObamaCare” in its entirety is the harbinger of the angel of death, then what do you think is the solution to our current broke down, on a respirator healthcare system?

 

Or are you like the Honey Badger – you just don’t give a fugg (as long as we get rid of this plan)