IM 70.3 Cozumel: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly (Part2)

…So, I woke up at 4 am to fix my own breakfast of oatmeal & raisins – HAD TO HAVE MY COFFEE – I also had a piece of fruit, croissant w/peanut butter and proceed to wait for my morning constitutional.

 

I am always like clockwork – breakfast, coffee, constitutional.  ALWAYS. And before every single race (run, duathlon, triathlon – EVEN long training sessions) I am regular & right on time. NOT THAT MORNING. NOTHING. NADA.

 

Time to get on the bus to get to T1. I packed some wipes figuring that I would have to brave the porta potties, grabbed my Silver Post Swim bag (you had to put EVERYTHING in the silver bag after the swim or you would not get your stuff back at end of race…NOTHING was to be left on ground or it was theirs) and headed to the buses with my Spectathlete Support Team (QueenMum & Princess Erin).

 

We were told that the busses all filled up and there were no more so we had to take a cab to T1. Okay. Found out later that we were scammed…cabbies wanted to make money. Whatever, I wanted to get to the Swim Start, set up my bike nutrition and get in line for the potties.

 

Here I am about to walk into T1. I’m thinking…OMG…this is it, KEEP SMILING. I get everything all set up and get in the rather short potties line. I stood there until 15 min before I had to get in my corral – NOTHING. I shrugged thinking –well, there is a first time for everything – and left to line up on the dock.

 

It was SOOOO COOL how they got all the swimmers out to the entrance point. They had a parade of caps and walked us all, lead by someone with a flag the same color as our caps, past all the spectators across the dock and around out to the platform. The cheering and screaming was unbelievable. People were yelling “GO TRIUNIFY” or “VAMANOS VERDE” (Let’s go green), shaking bottles filled with rocks or something. Some people had conch shells that made the loudest horn sound ever. AWESOME!!!

 

While we waited for our wave to get in the water, we were entertained by the resident dolphins. Much fun. Then it was time to get ‘er done.

SWIM 1.2 MILES:

The swim was pretty much like the morning before. warm & beautiful with awesome visibility, except there were a gazillion people in the water with you with only 2 min between you and the next wave. As usual, since I am a slow but steady swimmer, I was over taken again, and again, and again. However, this time, I could see you approaching (or your bubbles)  and it was pretty easy to adjust and stay out/get out of the way. I felt pretty damn good right up until we got to the first turn (the course was shaped like a square) and the current was unbelievable. You basically had to swim away (30 degrees left of buoy) and just drift back towards the buoy and next turn. The was also pandemonium at the second turn as the race officials were trying to keep the buoy in place – it was drifting bad and swimmers were literally fighting each other to get around the buoy, hang onto the buoy or the surfboard/kayak. I definitely lost some time navigating that madness but once I made the turn, I was swimming with the current and cruising in. The goal was under 60 min and I got out in 58 min. WOO HOO!

           

T1 – 7 min

Longer than I had planned. I tinkled (Oh man, You made me ink – Finding Nemo), rinsed, and stood there for a minute thinking “is this gonna be a 30 min transition?  Do I have to GO or is it something else?’ I just stood there, feeling bloated and uncomfortable and then someone yelled at me to “VAMANOS!” and I figured I’d be okay once I got going.

I look at these pictures now and I can see it on my face. I’m worried that something is wrong but I gotta get moving. Grin & bear it. Suck it up. Execute.

NOT SO MUCH. GI FAIL!

BIKE – 46 of 56 miles

I was doing great for the first 12 miles and then it fell apart. I kept telling myself to smile, you can do it. Breath through the cramping, it will pass. I was avg 15 miles/hour (slower that I wanted but I would finish before the cutoff). Then I had to stop at the aid station and no matter how fast you think you can get off your bike, try and just hurl or poo or just die and ride as a zombie – it takes forever and do that at every aid station and try and make up the time in speed (particularly in the wind tunnel side of the island) and you WILL NOT get ‘er done.

 

At mile 46 after ignoring the race official motorcycles & medic van – No hablo Española – a van and two police cycles cut me off and I was gently yet firmly removed from my bike whereby I collapsed into a heaping ball of sobbing snot.

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I can do it! I can finish. You can’t do this to me! You have to let me go! GET OFF ME! LET ME GO!

 

*iCan’t…my eyes start welling up. I start crying and sobbing all over again writing this*

 

“Senorita, it is for your safety that we do this. You live to race another day.”

I WAILED!

 

I went through the probably all the steps of grief and disappointment. I sobbed through feelings of humiliation & embarrassment on a apocalyptic level (FUGGGGG – EVERYONE IS GOSH DAMN WATCHING) ---AND not to be outdone – I FAILED! EPICALLY and in front of my friends, family, coach, training buddy. PUBLICALLY & GRANDLY.

 

As I sobbed, wailed & sent a two line text (Pulled of Course.Humiliated. FML) to my Spectathuletes & the FireMarshall, another competitor was in the van and he just laid his hand on my shoulder and kept saying it’s okay, it’s okay – we will come back. Stuff happens and we just gotta step back up to the line. "*Sniff, Sniff*

 

Of course, TheFireMarshall rallied the troops from thousands of miles away and organized an attitude adjustment intervention…and via FB and texting – even a phone call from Prince Jordan..I was able to pull my ish together, turn off the fountain head of tears and self-pity, beat that byotch of wrongly imposed humiliation/embarrassment & kick to the curb the notion that I failed. I smiled and started looking for a registration desk to get back on starting line.

 

I picked myself back up, dusted myself off, squared my shoulders, lifted my head up --

I LIVED TO RACE ANOTHER DAY!

I even made it onto the hotel electronic bulletin board competitor wall of fame.

 

We spent the rest of our time in Cozumel chilling in the hot tub and topping it off with a wonderful dinner out with my race buddies. I arrived home to a surprise dinner with cake, balloons and libations.

I LIVED TO RACE ANOTHER DAY! I AM A TRIATHLETE!

IM70.3 Cozumel: Pre-Race Report (Part 1)

It was everything I imagined it would be (the best of times) and it was FUBAR – CLUSTER FU*K I hoped it wouldn’t be (the worst of times).

 

Friday morning, bright and early – cause the FireMarshall was transporting us to the airport and well, ya know traffic/international travel/TSA required we leave at O-Dark-30 – we hauled my gigantic bike box, gear and luggage to the airport for our journey to Cozumel.  I thought it was going to be smooth sailing. BWAAAHAAAHAAAHAA!! We checked the luggage & bike box without so much as one glitch. Boarded the plane, soared to 30,000 ft, got the Wi-Fi going and waited on the beverage cart to slide down the center isle.

 

Bloody Mary’s and “ONLY DIET COKE” (yeah, right) for breakfast! Happy Happy Joy Joy. We landed in Cancun, gathered our stuff, chartered our van (we had 6 passengers, 4 bike boxes and luggage) for our journey to Playa del Carmen to catch the ferry over to Cozumel.

 

And then all those well laid travel plans went to hell in a hand basket. We missed the 3pm ferry (although the damn thing was sitting there till 4pm) by 5 min – per the ticket handler. They would only let us buy tickets for the 5pm ferry. Okay. We did and went to Senor Frogs for food, libations & shenanigans.

 

Thirty minutes before the ferry was to depart, we got in the line to board…and watched as the ferry just pull out – WITHOUT ABOUT A GAZILLION PEOPLE – most of us with bike boxes. In other words, they were having a race on an island and you don’t have enough ferries? SA WHAT. Thank GOD we had Francie with us who spoke Spanish and was able to find out that – OH WELL, that was the last ferry (with that particular company for the day) and we would have to trade in our current tickets for tickets on another companies ferry and beat it back in the line to board. 30 min later we had new tickets but those of us with bike boxes had to get out of the line and gather on the dock as they would let us board first. That was only decided AFTER they realized that they were about to have a riot on their hands if all the race participants didn’t get to the island TONIGHT!

 

When boarding began…CHAOS ensued. They checked our luggage but each of us had to lift our own bike box onto the ferry – up the plank, up the stairs – PURE MADNESS. By time we all got settled on the ship we all looked like we had been traveling for days in a torrential downpour from the sweating, huffing & puffing that was going on. The 6pm ferry didn’t leave until 7ish and didn’t arrive at Cozumel until 8ish. Then we had to wait in line with a gazillion other people for a taxi van to get us to the resort. We arrived at the resort around 9:30pm. A little over 12 hours of traveling.

 

JESUS be some air conditioning.

We didn’t really get to see it till the next morning, but this was the view from our room. Erin made me put my bike back together so I wouldn’t have to worry about it that night, we ordered some room service drinks, showered and I made plan with my fellow TriDiva’s to get up for the practice swim, mandatory race meeting & packet pickup/expo.

 

Saturday morning – another O-DARK-30 wake up as we all traipse down to the swim start for a morning frolic in the water. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!

While we were waiting on the dock to jump in and get our swim on, the TriDiva’s were talking and trying to figure out what was going on. All of a sudden this man turns on us and says “OMG! You speak English!”. We met “Philly Joe” who was staying at our resort as well and we were fast friends from that moment on. Joe was always surrounded by his Tri-Harem of women and he was an absolute blast to be around the entire time. FUN-TAY!!! We all decided to swim about 600-700 m of the course. That was the most spectacular open water swim – EVER!! You could actually see all the way to the bottom. Visibility had to be over 100m. I was so busy looking a Dory, Nemo and his turtle buddies that I didn’t realize how far I was swimming. You almost didn’t even have to look up to sigh as you could see the sandbag anchors holding down the buoys. MAGNIFICIENT. Only draw back was the salt water taste in your mouth, made you feel constantly thirsty, but they had these “pouches” of water waiting for you when we got out.

                   

After the swim and a jaunt back to the hotel to change, we were off to the WASTE MY TIME CAUSE YOU DON’T THINK WE CAN READ MANDATORY ATHLETE MEETING.  All the woman did was read out of the athletes guide, contradicting herself again and again. When we started to ask her questions she kept having  to ask the race director and translate back  & forth. Talk about CONFUSING. Yep, that meeting right there wasted an hour of my life and cleared everything up about as clear as mud. HUMPH.

 

We walked from the meeting about a half mile to the expo where we picked up our packets, got our number tatoo (next time – just let them do the marker) our goodies and headed back to the hotel…

 

WHICH TOOK PRACTICALLY ALL DAY! And then we had to rack our bikes…

                     

Back to the hotel to get our bikes and blue run bag (you had to pack all of your run gear in advance and bring with you to T1 for them to transport to T2) and catch bus (which you brought your bike onto) down to T1.

         

It was very intimidating and awesome all at the same time and as I racked my bike and perused all of the bikes around me – I NEED A NEW REAL ROAD BIKE! STAT. My bike, in comparison, looked like I had bought it from toys-r-us (close though), but, hell, I’ve raced with it for 2 years – nothing I can do right this minute so, lets get to racking.

That van made my day. After a long day of pre-race preparation, Erin, the QueenMum, PhillyJoe & his wife went for a little shopping in downtown Cozumel and then headed back to the hotel for dinner in the “fancy” restaurant at the resort. Hind sight being 20 20, I wish I had picked at the buffet instead. My soup tasted off so I only had two spoons and left it. The filet was alive still when they brought it to me and I think they were confused as to what mashed potatoes were so I left that and got some lasagna which tasted like hamburger helper lasagna. Hmmmm… I really wish I had just went to the buffet and watched the chef make me some plain pasta at the pasta bar and been done with it. I felt fine and slept fine but just felt off.

 

But that’s a tale I’ll have to tell you about in Part2 of IM70.3 Cozumel – Race Report: The Good, The Bad & the UGLY…

 

Stay tuned.

The Look of Absolute Vacation Joy

Princess Cara
The Look of ABSOLUTE VACATION JOY!

The Westin Lagunamar Ocean Resort

We are finally back from our vacation to Cancun, Mexico...all safe and sound back at home. We thouroughly enjoyed our time at the Westin Lagunamar Ocean Resort. This is the first year that it is open and they have done a wonderful job with the resort.

It was peaceful, beautiful and everyone treated us wonderfully. The staff was on top of their jobs in ensuring that you had a wonderful stay. My concierge, Lugi was always knowledgable and very helpful.

We had reserved 2 - 2 bedroom suites since there were a total of 8 people in our party (for most of the trip) and it turned out perfect. Beautifully decorated and appointed - you just can't go wrong with an abundance of heavenly beds....and how about the whirlpool bathtubs in each room.

It was great having full kitchens in each section and after our Costco Mexico run, we were in business and only had to go out to dinner 2x...and that was of our choosing. There is a mall directly across the street with a mini-market and the hotel has their own market for small incidentals --which I didn't find too overly priced.

The Westin Lagunamar Ocean Resort turned out to be a perfect resort for a family vacation.

Vacation Variables

Traveling with family and/or friends can be daunting and it is easy to get annoyed. As a frequent traveler with this crew there are some things that you just gotta let roll of of your back like water or you are going to end up one pissed traveler and end up ruining your vacation.

If you have a lot of pet peeves, idiosyncrasies and/or you are a "my way or the highway" kind of person...I suggest your travel by yourself. Or at least don't go anywhere with me cause I'll leave yo azz.

The best way to find out if you love someone or hate them is to travel with them - Mark Twain.

He's got that right.

Your drama is all yours. I will ignore you and go about my happy go lucky, having a good time way.

For the most part, while at a major resort, you can be a complete anal retentive, demanding azz (if you so desire). But once you are out and about, I would recommend having some understanding of the local culture & customs and adjusting accordingly. When in Rome, do like the Romans. I'm not saying to accept or tolerate rudeness or poor service, but your lack of acceptance/tolerance of the way things are done (this really pertains out of the country) actually makes YOU look like a village idiot (AKA - ignorant American). Seriously. Just stay at home then.

There were a few times that I got a tad irritated with my son, who this trip was in honor of. You see, I completely understand going on vacation and doing absolutely nothing; however, sitting in the suite all day playing Warcraft on the computer, sleeping until 2pm, and/or watching movies (in Spanish) does NOT require that you go out of the country. You can do that shyt at home and save me a boat load of money. I'm just saying.

To avoid being completely annoyed, I swam up to the pool bar and ordered another drink. HUMPH.

If you can't stand the sun or the heat, then WHY DA HELL do you come (and always want to go) to resorts in the friggin Caribbean WHERE IT IS HOT. I'm just asking...I'm not saying anything...just swimming back up to the bar again.

I had had just about enough of Princess Cara's fraidy cat routine. She was just scarred of every friggin thing...and I mean just about everything. So much so that there were times I just had to walk away so as to not slap the drama queen right out of her. I had to walk away from her and her co-conspirator & enabler - The FireMarshall.

However, just when I was on the brink of madness, thinking that they don't really have social services down here; The FireMarshall takes her on the water slide and....ooops...drops her. She got royally dunked. From then on, Princess Cara was fearless in the water. Now she is a regular Jacques Cousteau...Go figure.

If you haven't figured it out, I like to travel. I like to experience new things. I am adventurous. I would rather see it, do it, go there myself and live to tell the tale. I'm not much for sitting in my house and learning about the world from my TV or my computer. Live it; Experience it. At home - Safe - yes...But BOOOORRRRRING.

I love to travel, but HATE the getting there and back business:

• I find it a bit absurd that I have to give blood & subject myself to a potential cavity search to get on a friggin plane, but can board a train or bus with gallons of liquids & carry any ole type of potential weapons - like a mean lookin nail file - without anybody saying so much as BOO. That is just some STOOPIT ish. Not safe at all. Just a stupid and wasteful policy if you ask me...but you prolly didn't.
• Come on...my nail clippers and tweezers pose a significant threat? However, the case of Tequila (flammable, I'd say) that I dragged onto a train doesn't worry anybody. Mmmkay.
• I gotta take my shoes off to be screened anywhere in the US but leaving Mexico and just about anywhere else in the world....ahhhh, shucks, just leave em on. I guess only a fool in the US tried to lite the soles of his shoes on fire. Sometimes I just think we Americans have cornered the market on Village idiots.

I'm just saying.

You have to love a good flea market in any country...but the one in Cancun (while it still pales in comparison to the haggling you would experience at the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul) was a marvel of hawkers, haggling and....wait for it...honesty.
- "Please, mama, just give me one Mexican second in my store."
- " Best junk of any both, best prices too."
- " Oh, por favor senorita, you gave him a look, my just is much better."
- " I'll give you best price of all on my just."

STOP THE MADDNESS. I hollerd the whole time.

My iPhone is da BOMB. There is nothing like having free wifi at the resort and being able to Twitter, FB and kick azz in some Scrabble by the pool with frosty drink at your side. I loved being able to watch CreoleInDC's new video creations and practically falling out of my lounge chair laughing so hard. I had to quit her, ya know.

What happens in Mexico, should stay in Mexico.

White women, cornrows done by Mexican women & beads. I'm done. More nail art please.

Tell me some of your Vacation Variables....I'm tuckered out.

Dinner at Paloma Bonita

The family went out to dinner at Palomoa Bonita's on Monday to celebrate Prince Jordan's graduation from High School. We had an absolute fabulous time at this restaurant. We took my BFF Pattey to this same restaurant when we came down October of 2007. The same exact people & staff were there and they made sure that Jordan had a rip roaring good time (as you can see from the video).

If you are ever in Cancun, Mexico and want a great dinner along with awesome entertainment then you HAVE to go to Paloma Bonita's...it is definitly the whole kit & kaboodle.

ParaSailing

The "Jungle Tour"

The "Jungle Tour" should have really been called the "Lagoon Tour" or just the "Ride the Speed Boat" tour because there was really no "Jungle" to be seen at all. Unless you call these big mangroves in the water a jungle, then the tour was not named appropriately. A bit of false advertising if you ask me.

Now don't get me wrong, we had a wonderful time driving our own personal speed boat and snorkeling in the ocean; however, I am glad that we paid at a discounted rate as Starwood Owners or I might have been a tad pissed about how much it was for the NOT Jungle Tour. By the way...our tour guide was in his own speed boat and we just followed so there wasn't much of a tour either.

Cara loved the boat - hated the pirannah sized fish. Nemo my azz she said. Sarah made all of us almost burst a kidney when she sported her shower cap as her swim cap. The FireMarshall was always trying to give safety "boat driving tips". Nobody could hear him over the engines. Stop the madness.

Despite the fact that the tour was a tad bit off in its advertisement, we had a great time.

Guest Blogger - Princess Charlee's Thoughts On Her Cancun Adventure

Charlee --- Cara --- Erin

Hi TravelDiva Fans.... my name is Charlee Paye.

I know this may seem strange being the middle neice to the TravelDiva, but this is my first time traveling out of the country, and I did it alone. I got on a flight out of BWI alone and managed to transfer planes and arrive alive in Cancun, Mexico.

Once I got across the border my adventure began. As soon as we got to the resort the first thing we did was go to the beach. I must not get out much because I have never seen water so blue in my entire life. Cara and I built a sand castle...well, I did most of the work...and we splashed around in the waves. You know you are living the life when you can sip margaritas while swimming in an Olympic-sized pool.

After a couple long hours at the pool we went to Planet Hollywood for some dinner. I devoured a rack of ribs, Cara literally inhaled her spaghetti and Jordan terminated the “Terminator Burger.” Dinner was good despite the fact that the Austin Powers wanna be kept trying to shagg my little sister. After browsing some of the shops, and taking two shot of Tequila at a gift shop with Erin, my first night in heaven had ended.

Early the next morning I woke up to my little sister jumping on my bed ready to go back to the beach. I sat back and watched with an American flag in my hand. We just hung out at the infinity pool all day and after a power nap, it was time to party. Erin was going to take us to the club, Senor Frogs, for the night to celebrate the fourth. After a tall margarita, and a couple beers for Jordan, the dancing began. We got low to the floor on the cha-cha slide, watched the waiters do the stanky legg, cranked that souljah boy, took shots on the soul train line, walked it out all over the stage, and sang Journey. Me and my right-hand man were definitely the life of the party.

We took a cab home, and of course, Jordan loses his wallet. End of night 2.

This morning we prepared for the “Jungle Tour.” There wasn’t really much jungle besides the huge water bushes and the locals jumping off the highway bridge and swimming in the..uhh was it even a lake?? I got to swim with the fishies, which was an amazing experience, and speed raced back to shore on the motor boats. And of course when we got back to the resort it was back to the beach and the pool! Hopefully I will have Cara somewhat swimming by the time we get home.

I played mom (aka TravelDiva) in an extreme game of chess, and she kind of let me win. I’m so excited to see what the rest of this trip brings, besides my crucial tan.

4th of July in Cancun, Mexico

It's A Beautiful Day

Wi-Fi OnBoard

We left at before the crack of dawn (4am) to catch our flight to Cancun, Mexico for Jordan's graduation trip. The only saving grace to this whole traveling thing...I HATE the getting there part...was that there was Wi-Fi aboard our flights.

Now, I don't know why I would think that the wi-fi might be free after spending a small fortune on the (5) tickets & $75 to check 5 bags. And do you know that the check in agent even broke out a friggin tape measure for one of our bags? Made my eye damn twitch cause had it not be within the limit - there would have went another $55 on top of the $75. I would have been PISSED.

N. E. Way...the wi-fi was not free. It was $9.95 for the day. Fine. I whip out the computer and get to working. Ummmm....well I quickly figured out that this was not going to work as my batter was not fully charged so I only got to play for about 30 min. HUMPH. I put my computer away and pull out my iPhone and WHA-LA! I'm back in business. That too was short lived cause after about another 30 min of fiddling around and getting in a couple of games of Scrabble with my FB friends - BAM - no service. I get a message that says the wi-fi service if only available in the Continental USA and that I must be out of the service area. NO SHYAT SHERLOCK. I crossed over to international waters and thus I'm out of the service area.

Whatever. I'm on vacation.

We land, run the customs guantlet only to have to run a guantlet of timeshare and activities hawkers...and those people are RELENTLESS. I actually had to get ugly to just make it through the crowd.

Whatever. I'm on vacation.

We made it to the Westin Lagunamar Ocean Resort and it is beautiful. The water is a tourquoise blue and there is an infinity pool with a swim up bar.

I'm on vacation and life is grand.

Last Day - Cancun, Mexico

We spent a lazy day on our last day of our Mexico Adventure. We got up, had some breakfast and went off to the mall for some last minute shopping. I found a wonderful silver piece for the wall that is of the Aztec calendar. I can't wait to get the wall I'm gonna put it on painted and lit to hang this piece. I also bought some black clay statues and vase for a center piece on a sofa table. I picked up a gift for The Pollhein's...can't descend on their house for Thanksgiving empty handed. I know she will love it.

After we got back from the mall, we hung out at the beach for the rest of the day and took some Charlies Angels shots while trying to teach Pattey the art of posing for a picture. Different looks for different moods. She making significant progress.

There were these men from the Westin walking all over the beach with this portable massage stand giving people free minute massages. I layed there and watched while he gave this one man with a super hairy back and a speedo on (EEEEEWWWWWWAH). Massage Man finished with Hairy Speedo and started walking towards us. He stopped and asked Pattey if she wanted a free massage. She said, "No, but the probably do." Have you lost your ever lasting mind? Did you see Massage Man wash his hands or even use some anti-bacterial spray? Can anyone say MRSA? I thought I was gonna hurl. HELLLLLLLLLAH NO! I don't want your nasty, staph infection passin self to touch my back. Do you freakin know how much I've paid for this bod? I don't want to die of some Ebola virus in a Mexican hospital. MOVE ALONG Massage Man - nothing to see.

We laid there drinking pitchers of Sangria, played in the waves until the life guard warned us of the undertow and walked the beach. Later that night we went back to the pool (Brisa Breeze Bar) for the "Unwind" event - which consisted of 3 different appetizers for $7 US dollars. Well, that was gonna be what dinner was so we ate the stuff like we were gonna shut the place down. At 6pm they had "Happy Hour" (and when they say 1 hour, they mean it) with 2 for 1 drinks. They actually brought your 2 of whatever your ordered. Guess you can't keep track. We downed a bunch more Tequila Sunrises and a couple of Daiquiri's and then trudged back upstairs to start the packing process. BUMMER.

Major Dilemma...how to get it all home and not exceed the luggage weight limit? Challenges, Challenges.

Tulum - Cancun Day 4

Pattey and I went on a tour of Tulum on Saturday. Very interesting and educational. Mom was supposed to go with us but she got sick (too much tequila, not enough water) so Pattey and I dragged ourselves out of the bed and plunged forward. We learned a lot about Mayan culture and the ruins were beautiful.

After Pattey and I got back, we went out to dinner at this great restaurant that served authentic cuisine and celebrated Pattey's birthday. Great dinner! Great fun!