- Two tone hair is also rather unattractive. I don't mean professional highlights or coloring. I mean when the top (or one side) of your hair is clearly one color (like orange or red) & the bottom is jet black. The contrast is so extreme and reminds me of a racoon. To add insult to injury, why would you have orange hair, pull it back in a ponytail and then add a black hair piece to accentuate said ponytail. Seriously.
- What makes a person think that it is perfectly fine to get out of their car at a stop light, approach another car and start hurling explitives at another driver. Just because she looks like a soccer mom does not mean she isn't packin' and won't put a cap in your azz. I immediately looked around my car for a weapon (only found a pen) and got ready. Let me tell ya...this chick would have stabbed your foolish azz in the neck and asked questions later. DUMB.
- I can't stand a smart alleck. A person that always has a smart azz answer, always has a complaint...but NEVER has a effin' solution. Never adds to or tries to improve a situation, but is always tearing something or someone down. SHUT THE EFF UP.
- It saddens me to see an entire family - from parents to children and a few relatives - that are morbidly obease. Just sad.
- It absolutely makes me insane when The FireMarshall sucks his teeth. Friggin INSANE! Makes my eye twitch...and he still ignores me to this day.
- Why does it also make me crazy to look up at the microwave for the time and see "Press Start" flashing. WHY!!! If you put something in for 2 min, why open the door at 1:45 & take it out? Why not just set it for 1:45. If you are going to take it out early, then PRESS THE GOSH DARN STOP BUTTON!
- I can't wait to get my new iPhone tomorrow. YEAH ME!
- 9 days. Just 9 more days till we are in Cancun.
- Am I the ONLY one qualified to do laundry?
- I should not have to point out "the ground rules" to being my FB friend to someone I have know almost all my life. But just as a reminder...you step outta bounds just once and Imma bounce you outta my life, my FB, my brain FOREVER. You have been warned.
- Why can't I just be "a nice lady" with goodness & light? Why do people want me to pull out my taser and zap them directly between the eye.
I have been reading/hearing a lot lately about engagement rings and their importance & significance - particularly what to do if you don't like the ring you are given.
To be perfectly honest, some of the questions and answers just chap my azz and make my shake my head. I makes me say "No wonder". No wonder so many women scratch their head and call their girlfriends complaining that their man is no good & contemplating divorce so soon.
Perhaps it is because a lot of women spend so much time discussing, fixating on, negotiating about, shopping for the engagement ring INSTEAD OF doing the same about goal setting, discussing their future with potential mate (for life -but, of course, nobody even plans on till death do us part anymore), setting financial expectations and checking character - matching words w/actions.
I'm just saying.
Is it okay for a woman to tell her fiance that she doesn't like her ring? If that is the hill you want to die on - GO FOR IT. IMHO, that just sets the tone - it sets your attitude & value system - for your marriage right there. So, your alleged Prince Charming - the man of your dreams - only gets you 1 1/2 carats, or the stone is shaped like a heart instead of a pear. He is down on one knee at some fancy dinner or something he planned special; he proposes, you see the ring - Ewwwwwaaaahhhhh. It is not EXACTLY like you imagined. Do you throw the baby out with the bath water? Do you say "No, I won't marry you until you get me a stone size/cut/clarity that reflects my worth" (didn't know your love had a price tag). Do you say yes, and then go around pouting, being ashamed to show your friends your ring and finally essentially slapping your man in the face by handing him back the ring, telling him that you want something different cause you don't like the one you got?
HUMPH! Mkay. Go right ahead. Like I said before, it would indicate to me what you value most and that your love actually has a price tag.
I recently commented on this subject on another post about engagement rings. Here is what I said:
I got engaged over 20 years ago while in college. My engagement ring was some little thing that you needed a magnifying glass to see the diamond and cost maybe a little over $100 from the JC Penny jewelry counter.
I didn’t give a rats azz AT ALL. We were college students and we didn’t have any money. I really didn’t even give a damn. I had the man of my dreams and all it was to me was a token of his love & commitment to me. A TOKEN. The size, cost, cut did not reflect on the size, cost, cut of his love for me. It was just a token and I wasn’t about to get my face all twisted, question his love (or his character) over a ring…
…a ring that could be upgrade/replaced [if I so chose to do so]. And in fact, I’ve been “upgraded” twice since then as well as been given more “tokens” of his love in the form of diamonds, pearls etc over all these years.
Personally, I find all this jocking, snickering, bitchiness over the engagement ring distasteful & disrespectful. If women would spend half as much time being as critical over their chosen man’s character as they do the ring, then perhaps more would marry well & stay married.
I was told that I was taking the post and some of the comments too serious. I would agree. I take the subject of love, marriage and what it takes to do it well and stay married very seriously. This topic of telling your fiance & future mate that you hate his ring - the attitude & values that you are bringing into a marriage - falls into that category. An additional comment made my eyebrow raise...- ....after all, it's the ring she is supposed to wear forever. I would beg to differ.
It is the man you are supposed to keep forever.
Imma need you to think on that for a minute. If you were really developing a relationship with a man over time, getting to know him (he getting to know you), exploring his character & actions to find out if he is the right one that matches your value system then I would suspect that you would know each others preferences and it wouldn't be such a huge disappointment when it came to ring time.
Maybe the ring he chose is what he could afford. Maybe it is the one he wanted to look at on you for the rest of his life. Maybe it was his mothers and it had sentimental value. WHATEVER. Did you or did you not get a PROPOSAL from the man of your dreams. THE MAN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO STAY WITH FOREVER.
Or did you just want the proposal so you could have the ring you would keep forever, no matter what happened between the two of you. Especially when he turned out to be a complete and utter azz.
Don't get me wrong. I like bling just like the next woman. I have my preferences for the type of jewelry I like. However, the difference is that I didn't and don't put a price tag on my love. I valued my husband's character & potential WAAAAY more than the ring he gave me. I was much more interested in making sure that I chose wisely - for I considered marriage a covenant - a promise - that wouldn't be so easily tossed aside. I can honestly say that I didn't care about the ring and I didn't care what other people thought about it.
The ring was just a symbol...a token. It can be replaced.
I would hope that your husband could not.
- You accidently enter your pin number on the microwave.
- You haven't played solitare with real cards in years.
- You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
- You email the person who works at the desk next to you.
- Your reason for not staying in touch with friends & family is that they don't have email address or a Facebook profile.
- You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell to see if anyone is home to help you carry in groceries. (I don't get what is the problem with that)
- Every commercial on TV has a website a the bottom of the screen.
- You are irritated if your favorite newscaster or talkshoe host does not Twitter.
- Leaving your house without your cell, which you didn't even have the 1st 20, 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go get it.
- You get up in hte morning and go online before getting your coffee.
- You start tilting your head sideways to smile :)
- You are reading this and nodding.
We are on our way back to Maryland after taking Prince Jordan to early registration at his future home for the next four years at Indiana Tech. We made the 9 hour trek to Ft. Wayne, IN to Indiana Tech where we toured the campus (there isn't that much too it, really - small private college), met the Lacrosse coach, the advisor, took a math placement exam & registered for classes.
Friday evening, we all gathered in the Student Center for pizza & parent session as the incoming freshman ate and prepared to do a student activity - Scavenger Hunt - around the campus. I watched as my son, instead of sitting with us, pulled his chair over to the adjacent table, introduced himself and made friends.
Prince Jordan, my son, sought out his fellow teammates, introduced himself to other parents - engaging them in conversation as if he was a master networker.
I watched my son take charge of his group for the Scavenger Hunt without being pushy. They came in 3rd of 10 groups. A respectable finish.
I watched my Prince, male heir to the empire, during a practice with some of his new teammates, put his arms around the defenders and have a pow-wow meeting of the minds. I watched a pioneering team (the 1st time for Lacrosse at Indiana Tech) begin to gel.
I watched as my son took direction from the coaches and immediately incorporate what he was learning.
He got up the next morning without me (even though I did call) and take his Math Placement exam. And even though I hovered, the Prince registered for his own classes and created his schedule without my prodding.
I've never seen Prince Jordan happier. Master of the Universe. Helmsman of his own Destiny.
I also watched my son, right before my eyes, go from "my boy, my baby" to a young man. A young man who didn't need his mommie running behind him anymore. Boys grow into Men and leave home. With my daughter, I kicked her out the nest (and she keeps coming back like a bad penny). With my son, he jumped out the nest without even looking back.
...And my heart aches.
I am definitely a proud mother. The FireMarshall walks around with his chest all puffed out, while I think that any minute he will start passes out cigars again. What I witnessed was testimony to the fact that we had raised a boy to manhood and did it well.
...And yet I feel a sense of loss.
The Prince is now preparing to be the Future King...of his own Kingdom.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht i cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdeanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny
iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by itslef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig, huh?
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
It was acceptable practice in Babylon 4000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the brides father would supply his son-in-law with all the Meade he could drink. Meade is a honey beer & because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the 'honeymoon'.
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured to bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...'goodnight, sleep tight'.
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints & quarts. So in Old England when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your Pints & Quarts and settle down". It's where we get the phrase 'Mind your P's & Q's.
- Is there a rule that the driver gets to pick & choose when and where we stop? I gotta go to the bathroom NOW! Not when you decide it is the best time. HUMPH!
- Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE having a wireless card for my laptop. I can access the internet on the highways & byways anywhere there is Verizon service. LUUUUUUUVVVVE it.
- We are traveling on I70/76 towards Ft Wayne, IN (currently in Pennsylvania) and it is so green and beautiful. There is so much open land, trees, rolling hills. Simply majestic.
- The FireMarshall is wheeling & dealing on the phone as he drives. Always a hustler.
- A 9 hour road trip is not so bad when you are not doing the driving and you are in a Conversion Van with TV/DVD, XM radio, wireless laptop, Xbox & leather captains chairs. Not bad at all.
- I always wonder if those Call Boxes on the side of the road really work?
- While I'm all for recycling and reducing trash, I really hate those air blowers in the bathrooms to dry your hands.
- Did you know there was a Baltimore, OH?
- Is there one giant cloud/system of rain storms stretching from the Maryland all the way across to Illinois? Seems like it has been raining & cloudy since we left and we have passed through parts of 3 states so far. Jeeze
...AND glad that I do not have to date anymore.
Let's talk about that. I was hanging on the cell with CreoleInDC and she was asking me about my Anniversary weekend. I originally had planned on going to NYC for a chexy weekend in the city with my Knight - The FireMarshall - but our plans got put aside due to graduation, senior week and just plain family stuff. Not a big deal. We have 22 of these milestones under our belt, so hanging with each other over some BBQ and catching a movie was just fine. Of course, CreoleInDC done told the world that we were jet setting. That's my girl (give me a minute..we are off to Cancun in July)! Then we get to talking about some of the crazy ish that people - married & single - say to me about being married & with the same man for-like-EVER and we just laughed. I have long ago just *blinked* at that stoopit mess and kept it movin.
She then told me to check out Hostess's post - Red Ribbon The Finger - for it was an interesting and provocative essay on the way some (very negative, ignorant, miserable) married women behave & talk to single women. I guess the battle is still being waged between married & single women; however, this married woman, really doesn't have a beef with single women AT ALL. I want my single friends to be happy and find their own Knight - if that is what they want. If you don't then I just want you to be happy. PERIOD.
I was very glad that Hostess put the disclaimer at the top of her post, because at first glance, I was a tad irritated. I almost took it personal cause I am certainly not one of those insecure, byatchy, negative, miserable married women that she was addressing.
HOWEVER, I AM glad that I am married...to my Knight, my man, the one who is perfect for me, complements me. And if a single woman(men) asks/or says to me any of the following:
- How could you be with the same guy for so long? (How could you keep dating the same losers over and over and over? Hmmmm)
- Are you still happy? (Yes, are you?)
- Has he ever stepped out on you? (WTF - I don't dwell on what if's. I deal with the here and now, silly woman. Besides, I made sure through my standards that I didn't marry a dawg)
- Don't you ever wonder what it would have been like to be with someone else (BEEN THERE DONE THAT - No, I do not. Perhaps that is why you are still single, cause you are looking for the greener grass on the other side)
- How can you talk to him like that? (Perhaps if you had some standards/requirements and checked the bullshyt at the door then you wouldn't be crying about what he said or how he treated you. Just saying)
I give them some variation on the answers above or I just smile, blink and hope that they have an epiphany. Do the FireMarshall and I fight. DAMN Skippy. We even had words on our anniversary - OMG! Is every day a bed of roses. NOPE. Like I have said before, I married MY KNIGHT. Sometimes his armour is shiny, sparkling in the sun. His white steed is well groomed and he rides in with his Standard flying high and makes my fairytale come true. Other days, the armour is dented & rusted, he stinks, the horse is muddy and I want him outta my damn sight. That's called marriage - a work in progress. I CHOOSE each day to love & cherish.
So, if single chick starts off with a dumb comment then I'm going to respond (or not accordingly). I AM GLAD I AM MARRIED...TO MY HUSBAND. I am not saying that to make anybody feel bad, worthless, insecure or to act like I am imparting some kind of knowledge from on high. I am simply stating a fact. I AM GLAD I AM MARRIED...TO MY HUSBAND. If that makes you feel some kind of way, sounds like that is YOUR problem, not mine.
...AND...I'M GLAD I DO NOT HAVE TO DATE ANYMORE...cause there would be some dead MF's out there with all the crazy shyat that I hear goes on while dating. I hear it from my daughter, her single friends, and from my own single friends. LET ME TELL YOU!...I wouldn't put up with not even 1/4 of that mess, not one damn minute - and I would stab, shank, taze - basically call a man out by his name for any of the bytchassedness that I hear about. I wouldn't for one minute, let some man treat me like shyt, talk to me any ole kinda way and beg him to stay with me. The first tear that I shed over some man - who treated me badly - would be the last. You see, I have dated my fair share of playa's & dawgs. It was exciting & new...come aboard...they were expecting me. HUMPH. I was a bit of a playa myself. However, there came a time (actually I decided my first year at The Point) when I drew a line in the sand and I decided that I would not settle for bytchassedness not a minute longer. I had experienced bad and pushed away from the table and said "NO MORE BAD FOR ME."
I set standards for what was acceptable and what was not. I decided that I would judge a man by his character. I would listen to his words & watch his deeds. I decided that I would not be so quick (I ain't even gonna say I didn't get me some) to drop da drawers for a man I didn't have a ken for. I was also not interested in any projects - I was not going to try and knew that I couldn't ever do it, so why bother - CHANGE A MAN. Let his character speak for itself or begone.
I married me a winner. I will not apologize for it. PERIOD.
I AM glad that I do not have to date, for I am sure I have saved lives. I AM glad that I do not have to date and I do not say that to single women as the first topic of conversation. But if you call me for the umpteenth time crying, upset, out of sorts, depressed cause your boo is an azz, I really don't have anything to say AGAIN - unless you ask (and if you ask my opinion/thoughts on the matter, I'm sure gonna give it) and I just might end the conversation with a sigh and say "Whew, girl, I'm sure glad I'm not in that dating game." I don't say it out of maliciousness or cause I want to wave my happiness in your face. It is not cause I forgot what it was like to be single. OH, I remember. I simply made different choices. I decided I loved myself more and operated accordingly.
I want my daughter to have a wonderful, happy, successful marriage. I want the same for my single friends. Good & Bad. Better or Worse. When I listen to her stories, am I hard on her? Perhaps. I am sympathetic to a point, but I feel it is my duty as a mother and a woman who married well to remind her that she deserves better than some of the punk azz shyt she occasionally puts up with. I honestly believe she knows that all my advice & comments are in her best interest.
BTW - yep, the statistic is true that 50% + of marriages end in divorce. However, perhaps if we didn't go into a marriage with the end game as an option; perhaps if we didn't marry punks, playa's, dawgs & byatches; perhaps if we examined a mans character (and our own) instead of just settling; perhaps if you believed that "LOVE" was an action verb and worked on your relationship/marriage instead of being on an emotional roller coaster - then there wouldn't be so many marriages ending in divorce.
I'm just saying.
I am GLAD I am not in the dating game AND I have been Happily Married for 22 years and counting.
P.S. Misery loves company. I can spot miserable a mile away and will eliminate that influence in my life PDQ. I don't want that kind of company.
I have spoken. No go forth and be happy.
I decided to take a bike ride out to Assateague Island today while the crew was still sleeping (I didn't leave to rent the bike until 9:30am). I wanted to get some exercise in for both my body and my mind. 10 miles out and 10 miles back is a lot of time with your own thoughts.
The ride was actually easier than I thought. It was flat and easy, but it was hot as a cow on fire out there. No shade. No breeze (except when I was on the bridges or near the water - not often). Just me and the open road. My backpack, some water & some SPF75.
I thought about my marriage...it will be 22 years on Saturday. I am blessed and am still in love. We have survived - together - stuff that (according to several blogs and comment sections I read) would bring another couple to their knees and to divorce court. I'm looking forward to another 22+years.
I thought about my son's future. I worry about him but I gotta let the young man go. Sigh.
I thought about some relationships that I have to end and those that I want to cultivate. The past year, I've added some great people to my circle of friends - people I really want to be friends with and add to my Top Mafia. I am excited and feel truly blessed that I have this group around me. Then there are some relationships that just need to end. They are either toxic or just bad for me. Gotta clean house.
I thought about my kryptonite and am taking steps to deal with that little demon in my head that is just a land mine that I throw out in my path from time to time to keep me from achieving my goal. I'm gotta empty my pockets of those mines.
And then I just stopped thinking and enjoyed the view. Enjoyed the moment. Enjoyed some ice cream. Enjoyed the fact that I COULD do what I was doing. I sang at the top of my lungs to the music on my crackberry and didn't care who heard.
When I got back to the bike shop...I felt strong.
It was a glorious ride. A beautiful day.
Could you be alone with your thoughts?
However, there are moments that I wish somebody would just kill me. Six boys are just gross. They are messy. VERY MESSY...and I don't like messy at all. I had to inform them that I am not their maid and that I don't give a freak that they are tired from a day of boogie boarding. TOUGH SHYAT. Take the fuggin trash out and get your drawers up off the floor. JEEZE.
I must be the only adult over 25 in Ocean City this week. I still got it though, but am growing weary of telling these young bucks that I am NOT the cougar for them. NO PLAYA!
I'm way too "senior" and tired to be training up some boy on the Art of Chex. Took enough time to get the one I got trained. Go practice on that little hooka rite der.
Was that strip poker I walked in on last night at 3 am or were they just coming in from the pool. I was just too tired to really get into it, turned on my heels and went back upstairs to my room. I called The Prince on his cell, read him the riot act to SHUT IT DOWN...and it was shut down.
They really aren't bad boys...but they sure do drive me to drink. Good thing I brought my own stash with me.
Dear men...if you have a gut the size of a keg...Don't you dare say shyat about how big some random woman is. You, my fat friend, are equally fat and nasty. SHUT THE EFF UP. I'm just saying.
Pigeons & Sea Gulls are just flying rats, in my humble opinion. Why the fugg are these people throwing bread in the air to feed them. Why are they surprised when they get shyat on. STOOPIT.
It is hard for me to lay around and do nothing...but it feels good.
Youth...young love - exciting and new. Watching these kids all loved up and I wonder what da hell do they know about love. Then I remember that I was engaged at 18 and married at 21. I guess some could have a clue. However, I also wonder how many would still be married 22 years later in this day and age. Not many.
Four men from South American somewhere (I think) were "frolicking" together in the sand (throwing it at each other, racing each other, playing in the water). They all had black hair and matching swim trunks. I was weirded out fo sho.
Who needs a pedicure when a walk on te beach not only works your legs, but exfoliates too.
Why do so many of the young black girls look so mean & angry. Y'all are way too young to have a look of hate and bitterness on your face. Seriously. Will these be the same girls in the future that will always complain that they don't have a man or that some man is always saying they got an "attitude" (cause they do). Hmmmmm.
Sitting on the Boardwalk, watching people go by reminds me that there is somebody for everyone. Maybe there shouldn't be.
People are weird.
I'm going to rent a bike tomorrow and ride it out to Assateague Island tomorrow. 18 miles total. My exercise. I hope I get to see some of the ponies.
Did I say people are weird?
What makes you think that I am going to respond to you catcalling at me? What makes you think I will be devastated when you say "I ain't all that" cause I won't give you the time of day. WHATEVER. I am already firm in my conviction and belief that I AM ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS and will not even dignify your ignorance with a response. TRUST.
Some people are speshul.
I bought a cigar & cognac. It is interesting sitting on my balcony listening to teenage shenanigans. These boys are silly & funny. Was I ever that way? Prolly.
Do you have a son/daughter who graduated this past month? Are they doing a Senior Week?
Who is their Den Mom/Dad?