Inaugural Disney Paris Half Marathon

Last year this time, The FireMarshall asked what I wanted for my 50th Birthday. Epic Party – Epic Trip. I planned the party – it was EPIC and the trip was for me and a friend to go to Paris for the Inaugural Disney Paris Half Marathon. Not to be outdone, I also had to participate in the first Chateaux to Castle Challenge (which meant I had to do a Disney Half Marathon in the states before Paris – I did the Star Wars Half Marathon).

We had a Grand Epic Time.

Disney Paris, in its entirety, including the two parks, Disney Village (their version of Downtown Disney) and the hotels immediately surrounding the parks could probably all fit inside of Magic Kingdom. Despite the size, the parks were packed and the lines just as long for the rides – of which we rode none. Just walking through the park taking pictures, seeing the characters, pin trading (or, in our case, buying) and people watching was just fine.

The only disappointment was that they ran out of the unique race pins by 10am of the second day the Expo/Packet pickup which meant they either didn’t have enough for each participant or they let people buy several of them before allowing registered racers the opportunity to get. Now they are on sale on Ebay for $650. No sir! Although I know someone will pay that. HUMPH. There were a few glitches that were probably only noticeable to regular runDisney participants – small expo with not enough gear/variety, not enough big screens in corral to see what is happening at start and poor sound system and not enough porta-potties near the corrals. Otherwise, both the 5k and Half Marathon were fun & scenic. Lot of photo ops!

The Inaugural Race Party was nice, but they were not prepared for the number of people that paid for it as evidenced by the long lines and long wait to get food. The Wild West Buffalo Bill Show – I was pleasantly surprised by my amusement. The show was actually pretty good and entertaining. We were on the Green Team and our Cowboy sucked.

 
     
After the Half Marathon on Sunday, we hobbled back to the hotel lodge and enjoyed cocktails in the lobby bar as we planned our transportation into Paris for the rest of our adventure. Grown Women Gone Wild – Paris Edition will have to wait for another post.

Suffice it to say, we came, we ran, ran some more and had the time of our lives.
 
Of course, I put a little video together from the two races. Enjoy!

Race Report: 2015 Paris Marathon

Paris in Spring!

 

One of the most beautiful cities in the world…why not run there. It would be exhilarating and beautiful. So, when I entered the lottery for an entry and got accepted, I HAD to go! Coming off a neuroma in my left foot and a bike crash, I knew I needed help to get me to the finish line. Of course, I signed up for another season of coaching with RipIt Coaching and a plan was formed.

 

Being a tad OCD, I read the Schneider Electric Paris Marathon Rules inside and out. This is all I had to work with: “Participants will have a maximum time of 6 hours to complete the course to the finish line. After passing the limit vehicle, competitors must comply with traffic rules - rules of the road.”

 

I told my coach the time limit and Duzy put me through the paces to complete the race somewhere between 5:30/5:45. Through one of the coldest winters, I pushed through 10 milers in 10 degrees – BRRRRRRR – , speed work, intervals and 16 mile treadmill runs to meet the goal.

 

Despite all that, It wasn't meant to be for me. The race book/rules said you had 6 hours to finish before the race closed. I was under or hit every pace mark set...until the half. Why? What the race rules didn't tell you was it really was only for people who would finish in 4:30hrs or less - every one else was I their own. At mile 8 (from pictures below looks like it was really at the 10k), they started tearing down everything including the timing strips and opened the course to traffic. By mile 10, we all had to get up on the sidewalk. After 3 miles of dodging traffic, pedestrians and bikes and stopping for lights to cross the street, I knew I would not make the cutoff. I called it at mile 14, when it was just way too much to navigate traffic and the only way to know where to go was follow the trash.

This is the only picture I have that kinda shows what I was talking about. I didn’t really even notice that this water station was empty and they were folding up the tables. I was just happy I was hitting my paces and was feeling good. Hind sight…there was nobody there, just trash and people packing up. I snapped this picture and ran on as I had on me all the nutrition I needed – push on.

 

I was so disappointed, but I had a great Half. I ran one of my best half marathons in years…in fact, I PR’d every single mark along the way (fastest mile, 5K, 10K, 15K) and I had a BLAST in Paris.

    

What were my thoughts when I got to Mile 14 where my Mom, daughter and BFF were? I was crying. I was demoralized. I spent from mile 11-13.1 sprinting from block to block hoping I would have the lights in my favor but more often than not, I had to wait for the light to cross traffic. I kept losing time. I have never felt more alone – even with other runners struggling along with me – we were all silent in our thoughts. You could see it on our faces – the frustration, the mental juggling, the fighting off tears that would surly fall if we spoke out loud about this debacle.

                                   Team USA at the 5k Breakfast Run

 

My BFF, Val, was the first to call it for me with, “You said you do all this because you love it and it’s fun, right?”

 

“Yes”, I wail, slipping into hysteria.

 

“Nothing that you love and is fun should make you cry. We are done. Let’s find the metro and get some wine!”

 

Erin pulls out her iPad and gets the FireMarshall on FaceTime. She pans the area showing the traffic and debris and the man who made this journey possible was like “OH HELL NO! We are not running in a foreign country in traffic. You are done, now go and enjoy the rest of the trip.”

 

As we walked to the Metro, I was not the only one who called it, as there were many others on the platform and on the train. Alas…

 

Hindsight…

If I had known that the course would shut down like that, I would have finagled my way into an earlier corral, like a few others did (and finished in 6:30) so I would have a closed course to run on and still make the finish.

 

Would I do it again? Probably not. Would I recommend the race? Yes. It’s beautiful, relatively fast/flat course – long gradual up hill, but it is a long gradual down hill too. However, take heed of what happened to me. If you are in the hare class – have at it. If you are in the turtle class, get yourself into an earlier corral (which means you have to “fudge” what time you plan on finishing or play dumb when you get there and sneak into an earlier corral – SIGH).

 

                  Champagne at the summit with the best support team ever!

                

What did I learn from this experience?

- This journey is MINE! As long as I’m having fun and achieving MY goals, I’ll keep on keeping on.

- Stop comparing myself to everyone else, their achievements and their milestones. It’s THEIRS. Mine are just as awesome!

- Do the things, distances, races that I want & love. Get better at those, move the goal post, PR & master those events before setting my sights on that sparkly bigger event just cause everyone around me is doing it. DO ME! FOR ME!

 

What’s up next…

Sunday – Columbia Half Marathon! (Race Ambassador in DA HOUSE!)

May 17 – Columbia Traithlon

Spirit Airlines has NO Spirit

 

I was going to write this laundry list of how Spirit Airlines (@SpiritAirlines) SUCKS major big time, but I found the most awesome website that outlines everything you need to know about this fugged up, nickle and dime your azz to death, lying till their seats are on fire airline.

 

Spirit Airline Facts

Facts about the country's cheapest and most complained-about airline.

Yes, Spirit Airlines can be, for some, the cheapest way to travel from point A to point B. To others it's a nightmare organization that has ruined vacations, destroyed business travel plans, taken money without offering agreed upon services and shocked unsuspecting travelers with hidden fees and questionably-ethical policies. According to the U.S. Department of Transportation's Bureau of Transportation Statistics, Spirit Airlines has seven times more official complaints against them than any other airline operating in the United States. Even the Secretary of the U.S. Department of Transportation has recently warned travelers that Spirit Airlines doesn't care about its customers.

 

While my recent flight itself was uneventful (it took off and it landed on time), everything about this airline that touts itself as the cheap, discount flight airline, there is NOT ONE DAMN THING CHEAP ABOUT IT – AT ALL.

 

Yes, my flight to Dallas was about $100 less that any other airline and there is where it ended. The got me this time – MY BAD. I will NEVER, EVER fly these bastids ever again. I went online to print my boarding pass and you can’t - until you register for their “frequent flier” program and log in. From then on, you have to LOG IN every.single.time. I check in and I’m asked if I plan on taking a CARRY ON or checking any luggage? I check carry on. And then it starts, for $59/year I can save $10 on my baggage fee – but you still gonna pay. Let me get this straight…I give you $60 buck and SAVE $10 per bag per leg. I would have to take 3 flights in a year with them to break even AND I still gotta pay $30 for a MFn’ CARRYON!

 

GTFOOHWTBS.

 

So, now the $100 I saved flying Spirit went up with the $40 ea way carry on fee. Minus $80. BTW, if you don’t check in and print your boarding pass at home, they will charge you a fee…up to $8. Want a glass of water – $3. Soda, Coffee – $3. Snack, Sandwich – up to $15. Shall I go on?

 

Want to pick your seat? from $12-$25 depending on the type of seat. Traveling with your S/O and want to sit together? You BETTER pay for your seat or you will most definitely will be split up. Watched it go down over and over and over on my flight.

 

Seats DO NOT recline and actually that is a good thing because  there is absolutely NO ROOM. NONE. There are ads on the tray tables, they market a credit card to you on the plane, giving away enough points for 3 flights – getting you for interest on the card and more fees to use those miles.

 

The acquisition cost suckers you in and after you are stuck, they collect the rest of the money from you. You end up not saving a damn thing.

 

Spirit Air ain’t got no spirit, no they don’t. Fly @SpiritAirlines at your own risk and the emptying of your wallet.

SegWaying with the Ladies

Saturday Segway Tour of Annapolis. It was all grins & giggles till I flipped the damn thing in the middle of the street and busted my royal ass. Shit hurt, but the gazillion dollar camera was A-OK.

 

  

 

We had a lovely tour of downtown Annapolis followed by lunch at Prussers – which had THE BEST PainKillers & Bushwhackers on the planet – like EVER! Rounded out the day with some light shopping with the Queen Mum (new beach hats, bags & replenished the cigar stash – ready for the OC Vacation).

 

 

You should take the time to check out downtown Annapolis & the waterfront. Makes for a great weekend excursion.

 

Side note: Organizing an event for the Usual Suspects is like herding cats – damn near impossible. I pass the baton onto another member of the Tribe.

Grown Women Gone Wild–Part 2

Remember the first Top Mafia, BFF Weekend? Check it out…I’ll wait.

 

Okay…Well, one of my TOP MAFIA – my HandyHOTness partner in crime – came in to town to run the Army 10 Miler with me. Another weekend with my friend and I feel like I need a kidney transplant from laughing so damn hard –CONSTANTLY!

 

Another weekend of hilarious moments…

• Yes, you CAN be run over by your own Segway.
• “OPG” does NOT stand for “Old People Grovin’”…it stands for Original Pretty Girls. Seriously!
• Friends don’t let friends take pictures with a cow.
• “How long it take you to get here on the bus? 20 hours?”
• You really haven’t cursed anyone out until you spit a “FUGG YOU” at someone from deep down in the gut. FUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGG YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
• You know how you recover from the humiliation & embarrassment of taking a picture with a COW?…You braid your BFF’s hair so hard & tight for 2 hours until she has a migraine. Muuwaaaahhh!!!

Ms.Pattey came in on Thursday and did a tour of the Pentagon and 9-11 Memorial with a friend from high school. On Friday, we did a City Segway Tour of DC that was an absolute BLAST. My only advice if you ever do a tour on a Segway…wear a pair of shoes that you could stand still in for 3 hours.

    

 

Yes, you are moving along at 10mph (for the most part), but you are essentially standing in place – in the same position for 3 hours. My feet were screaming. I can’t even imagine how the girl wearing heels on the tour was feeling by the end. DUMB.

 

After the tour, we were in great need of sustenance and stumbled upon Cuba Libre on 9th St. DELICOUS!!! Both the food & the adult beverages.

After we were sated, we hopped back on the Metro and went to pick up our race packets for the Army 10 Miler. We probably spent WAAAAY too much time checking out all the vendors & spent WAAAAY too much money…AND took a picture with a cow instead of a cheetah (I’m still traumatized) but a good time was had by all.

We hooked up with TriBecca at the expo and she was kind enough to drive us up to Howard University so we could make our last stop on our Friday adventure. Rankin Chapel to see the AKA Founders Stained Glass Window. What a treat! As beautiful as I knew it would be.

 

All of that was just Friday…Saturday was a blur of shopping, eating, shopping and laughing. Sunday was the Army 10 Miler (race report will be up later).

 

We had a wonderful weekend. I love all the different adventures I go on with my Top Mafia! Just the best group of friends – EVER. I think we have mastered that Recipe for Friendship.

 

I hope you have tried that recipe. It is great for the soul.

Travel Drama–Episode 29

I swear on all that is Holy that there HAS to be a Travel Demon between BWI & Ft.Wayne, IN. HAS TO BE. It seems that every time The Prince, Heir to the Empire, Protector of the Realm tries to come home or go back to college, there is some form or TRAVEL DRAMA involved in any of the journey to or fro.

 

Today started off innocent enough. Prince Jordan & his First Knight, Sir Tony enjoyed a week of Spring Break at True Blessing Estate. For an entire week, they got run of the Kingdom under the watchful eye  of Emperor FireMarshall & Empress TravelDiva (more TheTravelDiva since the FM is actually a KOJ – Killer of Joy). After the week of festivities & “socials” every night, they boarded a plane back to Indiana.

 

The United flight left BWI at 1212pm…but didn’t touch down in Chicago. You see, there was this “act of nature” called a rain & lightening storm. So the United Flight from BWI to Chicago Ohare landed in Indianapolis, IN instead to wait out the storm.  That flight sat on the runway in INDIANA for 2 hours waiting out the storm, never went to a gate, took off and went back to Ohare. SERIOUSLY?  The Prince & Sir Tony got in the line with the rest of humanity to reschedule their flight. I KNEW that if The Empress didn’t intercede, those boys wouldn’t get back to college until before next weekend Parents Weekend. I got on the phone with United & they quickly booked The Prince & Sir Tony on the next flight out…the only flight out on any airline to Ft. Wayne…until 6 am THE NEXT MORNING.

 

So…what are they supposed to do until 5am the next morning? I work on finding them lodging. I find a very reasonable rate at a hotel called Baymont Inn & Suites Ohare/Elk Village. Well, let me tell ya – YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR. I made the reservation on an online travel site and went about my business. The Prince & Sir Tony get to the hotel and THOSE SUMBYOTCHES at the Baymont Inn & Suites Ohare put them back on the street saying that there was a “law” in Elk Village stating that it was illegal to house any person under the age of 21. SERIOUSLY. ARE YOU FUGGING KIDDING ME. So if a 20 year old SOLDIER, SEAMAN, MARINE 20 years old or less that is SERVING their country and protecting your right to even own a MFn’ hotel could stay at your piece of shit in the woods. GTFOOHWTBS. Law my ass.

 

But put them out on the street they did. Told ME – The EMPRESS – that it wasn’t personal, it was the law. UH HUH. Wanna see one of the 4 horses of the apocalypse? That was me. On a rampage. I called in some Woop Ass Supply Ships for lands as far as TX & FL and become my campaign of rendering you’re the BAYMONT INN & SUITES OHARE’s reputation to dust…and I haven’t finished. I will make it my personal MISSION to get on every travel sight known to man and render a review that would make Atilla the Hun look like a nice guy. LAW MY AZZ.

 

While Prince Jordan & Sir Tony were riding on the shuttle back & forth from the airport and the piece of shyat hotel, The Emperor got on the phone with Starwood and secured a reservation at the Four Points Sheraton Ohare where all they requested was a signed release authorizing what charges we would allow The Prince & Sir Tony to put on our bill. Ms. Anna at the Four Points Sheraton Ohare took care of the young men, got them settled and whatnot like the professional I have always met & expected from a Starwood Property.

 

I still wait with baited breath to see that they actually get out of Ohare. May God grant our young men Travel Mercies and get them back to college without any more incident. Thank you for granting us the wisdom and patience to find a solution & the strength to deal with irrational, rude & disrespectful organizations with force & authority. I am thankful for all of your blessings.

 

I’ll keep you posted.

Mission Michigan–Road Trip Random’s

The FireMarshall, Princess Cara and I are on the road RIGHT NOW enroute to Grand Rapids, MI to watch Indiana Tech LAX and, more importantly, pick up Prince Jordan & Sir Tony for a little Spring Break Fling in DC. Yeah, they called on afternoon and snookered the Queen into this whole adventure.

Last night, around 11:30pm, The FireMarshall asked me to check the weather as we packed to see if we needed to bring some artic gear to watch the game in. I flipped on the Weather Channel and – SHOCK & AWE! A frigging snow storm dead smack in the middle of our route (10 – 12 in of snow in Cleveland). Ummm. Yeah. I went to the cloud (no, really, I just opened two windows on my ‘puter) between MapQ.ues.t & weather dot com we tried to make a command decision on what to do:

• Leave later waiting for storm to pass
• Leave now – didn’t make much difference
• Plot a different route – that was the ticket (or so we hope)

Instead of going the most direct route through Pittsburg to Cleveland up to Grand Rapids, we are staying a little south (on I70) to Columbus, hook up to Ft Wayne, IN then up to Grand Rapids. Keeps us south of the storm and only adds about 1 hour to the already brutal 10/11hour travel time.

VIVA EL INFORME RICO! or at least noaa.org

We are on the road now (in West Virginia to be exact) and while cloudy we have clear skies. Pray for travel mercies. Since there is always some grins, giggles & shenanigans on every adventure we embark on, I’ll be back from time to time to update you with…

ROAD TRIP RANDOM’S

So, obviously we have taken so many road trips in the Party Van that the drivers seat is a tad worn down. Why was The FireMarshall’s solution to the problem to sit on Princess Cara’s Bumble Bee Pillow Pet? You don’t even WANT to know where the face of the bee is. SMH.

If Princess Cara as ONE MORE DAMN TIME if we are almost there, I'm going to throw that American Doll out the dag on window! Kill me friggin NOW! Uggaaahhh. So, she realizes that we are at our wits end and asks for one of her blow pops. Sure, we give it to her. SHUT THE EFF UP!

We got played.

What possessed me to teach Princess Cara how to get the truck drivers to blow their horns. DUMB AZZ.

Guess the whole go an hour out of your way idea is paying off. Except for a little bit of flurries in the mountains of PA, we got zilch since we hit OH & still nothing outside of Ann Arbor, MI.

I LOVE having a mobile hotspot on road trips. I'm roaming all over deeze here innanets even registering for the ZOOMA Annapolis 10K. I refuse to watch video - OVER & OVER of the devastation in Japan. I'll just pray instead. I don't need to watch it a gazzillion times to know that it is awful.

Princess Cara is a great Road Dawg. She's fun (except when she asks if we are there yet).

Da Hell is that thing?

A Sunday Afternoon in Central Park

A wonderful afternoon in Central Park to round out a special weekend in New York City with The FireMarshall & Princess Cara.

 

Sunday in Central Park

Delta Drama #2 - Indiana to BWI

How soon I forgot my dislike of all things Delta.


I booked The Prince on a flight (with a connection) out of Ft. Wayne, IN to BWI for Thanksgiving holiday...and THAT is where the comedy of errors begins. After the his harrowing experience last night I will avoid that airline with every fiber of my being unless it is a last resort. Why?


Delta scares the shyt outta me. At The Prince's departure airport, there were not 1 but 2 planes that had "mechanical problems" and could not be flown. *Well how the fugg did they get there?* After rearranging every bodies flight, the powers that be went to some back hanger out in left field somewhere and pulled a plane outta their hat - that worked.


The Prince arrives in Detroit only to find out that his flight is delayed for...wait for it..."mechanical problems". GTFOOHWTBS. Does Delta have ONE plane that actually works and is NOT being held together with some spit & gum? Just asking. He boards and they decide that this issue is hydraulics and they gotta get off. Delta says that they are going to bring in another plane from Boston or someplace and they would be ready by 7:30 pm. The Prince had been in Detroit since 4ish. Well, 7:30 came and went and the sign on the board changes to CANCELLED.



WTF. 70 passengers are now sitting in Detroit trying to figure out how they getting to Baltimore.


We get the Prince to do some slick maneuvering to a counter person to see what is going to be done and if he can get out tonight. At the same time Princess Erin gets Delta on the phone while I look up every possible flight out of Detroit on the computer. She gets a lovely lady at Delta on the phone, who once we explained the situation was on it like stink on a dog. I found the only flight out with enough time for The Prince to make it (if he sprinted) on U.S Air. Re-booked. Rerouted. The Delta agent on the phone was two-waying us into the counter at the airport. While we were finagling this flight...The Prince somehow worked his magic and got himself a seat on a Delta flight (they pulled another plane outta left field) to BWI but there were only 8 seats left. He got one. 62 passengers had to wait till this morning. SIGH.



The Prince called us from the plane and said they were about to taxi - pick him up in 2 hours.



Now you know we didn't just settle (they might not even take off). The nice lady on the phone at Delta stayed on the phone with us until the flight actually was in the air. THEN, without us even prompting - cause I didn't know to ask - she said "Let me make sure that his return flight is still in order. He has been switched and cancelled so many times today that his return might have been cancelled." Now you want to see me on an episode of Snapped...let that mess happen. She clicked, flipped some switch, and reconfirmed his return flight.



We also logged into BWI's flight tracker and tracked that plane till it landed. No chances.



The Prince made it home 6 hours after he should have...but he made it home safe and sound.



While the Delta lady on the phone was the epitome of what customer service should be, it does not mitigate my fear of flying on a Delta plane. That is just ONE to many mechanical errors for my taste. I need for my plane to have all of is PMCS (preventive maintenance checks & services) done and be in order. They ARE NOT giving a travel warm & fuzzy.



DO BETTER. BE BETTER DELTA.

Road Trip w/The Boys

Prince Jordan and his crew are this very minute (12:48am) on the highway - embarking on...

THE ROADTRIP

The crew wanted to do "The Big Summer Trip" and I hooked the boys up with a condo down in Orlando for the week. They decided that it would cost them more to fly & since none of them are 21 - they couldn't rent a car without forking over a tuition sized deposit. Thus, they are driving - the infamous party van - our Chevy Conversion Van.

I am up at 1am in the morning, the worried mother, fretting about safety, can they handle the drive, are they gonna be okay...blah, blah, blah. The FireMarshall is sleeping soundly. We got a call about 30 min ago from the Prince asking about the brakes on the van. I practically jump out of the bed frantic but The FireMarshall is handling the call with finesse and calm. I'm pacing the floor. The FM hangs up, lays back down and starts to promptly go back to sleep.

DA HELL. I want details. What's going on? Are they okay? Are they gonna make it?

The FireMarshall, in his voice reserved for idiots and the elderly, said "Woman, get back in the bed, lay down, calm down and don't fret yourself to death." Ummm, okay. How comez he all lah de dah bout the Prince - the Heir to the Empire - driving 13 hours (he is not doing all the driving-the boys are sharing the load) down I95? Why you all calm about six 18 year old boys on thier first long azz road trip? WTF.

He prompty put it in perspective for me. He said, "We send 18 year old boys to Iraq & Afghanistan, give them guns and send them out on patrol all day to Sunday. I think my son and his friends can handle I95. They were responsible enough to check in about the brakes, they are fine, we will check them when they get here. They know now to take their time & pay attention. They will watch out for each other - just like our kids overseas."

Ummm, well, err, yeah.

He then wraps himself up in this here heavenly bed (we are already in Orlando for vacation & a conference) binky and says, "Would you rather him navigate I95 or navigate IED's? Let the boy be a man. Now go to bed."

He then offered to help take my mind off of the Prince with a game of pocky-poo. Uh, Huh.

The FireMarshall has a valid point. I gotta let The Prince do man like stuff and navigate life on his own. I'm still his Momma - and I'm gonna worry, just a little bit.

I've said my prayer and asked God for Travel Mercies for The Prince and his crew. I ask that if and when you read this, that you throw up a prayer on their behalf.

Safe travels, my Young Men. Love you all - from the KoolAid Momma.

Hmmm...now let me see about this game of pocky-poo.