2/28/09

Delta Drama - ATLANTA


fly delta jets, originally uploaded by maryvw.

It all started with the thrill of getting out of a 4-day Wound Management Course at Emory hours early. Awesome. I checked and there was a 4pm flight (I was scheduled on the 655pm flight). I went to the check in monitors, paid $50 to change, checked my ba and went to the gate.

THE THRILL IS....GONE!

It went downhill from there. I get to the gate and I see that the flight is delayed until 5:55pm. Ummm, okay. I'm annoyed, but I will still get home a little early. I went to the bar, of course, had a drink (or two), made small talk with the bar maid and went back to the gate to play Mafia Wars on my computer (People to attack, Jobs to do).

When I get to my gate, I see that they decided to move it from B9 to B27. BINGO! Just a little haul, but no biggie. I get to B27, post up a seat, open up my laptop and commence to kicking some upstart Mafia wanna be for the very notion of trying to rob me. Pity the Fool. In the background, that idjit, Ron Christie, was on CNN again - whining about something & makin my eye twitch...and then he said it..."For Goodness Sake." In that moment, I wished to God I really had a Tactical shotgun in my bag cause that sniviling "proud black man" who can't see a racial slur when it slaps him the face brings out a rage of violence in me sumptin' awful.

But I digress.

Just as I had reached a new level in Mafia Wars, an announcement was made that our delayed flight was no CANCELLED. DA HELL YOU SAY...and if tat don't just chap your azz...they announced that we were all re-booked on the 9am flight out THE NEXT MORNING!!!! WTF. Not me playa. Somebody gonna fix that shayt and PDQ.

All the passengers were directed to the service desk across from B19 to pick up our boarding passes & hotel vouchers. I get to the Kiosk (it was not a desk of any kind) wit some rather unprofessional lookin chicks standing there, repeating the same mumbo jumbo over and over. The only thing these chicks were doing was scanning your old boarding pass, handing out the vouchers and sending people on their way. The refused to answer any questions and the chick in my line said, in response to an inquiry, "That's not my job." Well, guess what...she don't know bout me and I'm bout to MAKE it her job.

TravelDiva: I'm bout to make this your job...you have a Delta uniform on & a name tag that says Service Rep...helping passenger IS your job.

Kiosk Chick: You don't have to take your frustration out on me. You'll have to go and use one of the Red Service Phones if you want additional help. I can't help you beyond giving you your voucher.

TD: Da Hell You Say. Looka here..If you don't like to serve then perhaps you should get a different job.

KC: *stunned* Blinking her green contacts (that made her look like snake eyes) at me. You need to take your attitude to the red phone.

TD: Imma do that (insert name here)...and I'll be sure to mention your name and what you think your job isn't. I snatched my paperwork and moved to the RED PHONE.

My paperwork included a new boarding pass for the 9am flight. HUMPH. A voucher for the Red Roof Inn and 2- $7 meal vouchers...one for dinner and one for breakfast. ARE YOU SERIOUS? I ain't staying in no Red MFn' Roof Inn. Aren't the doors exposed to the outside elements? And what da hell am I supposed to eat with $7 MFn' dollars. ARE YOU FRIGGIN SERIOUS?

Obviously Delta was.

I picked up that Red Pone so damn fast I almost hit myself with it. I got a pleasent lady on the phone who immediately sensed my....AGITATION...and she got busy. She immediately put me on standby for my original flight, check how many open seats their were and told me I had a good chance of making it. She also refunded my $50. All of this the Kiosk chick refused, was unwilling or didn't know how to do. BYATCH.

Now, remember I'm in Terminal B. My standby flight is at (wait for it)..Terminal E. Ummmm...I got 20 min before that flight is supposed to leave. Here goes the OJ run thru the airport again. FUUUUU$%#K.

I did NOT give up cursing for Lent.

I hauled it to Terminal E, Gate effin 33 (the last damn gate) and when I get there, the sign is blinking "CANCELLED". GTFOOH! NO FRIGGIN WAY. Imagin my despair, my hostility. Who da hell is playing this cruel, sick joke on me. Tell me now so I can beat them about the neck & shoulders. I just stood there, looking around and I noticed that most of the passengers look nonplussed about the situation...Hmmmm....what's going on. I went up to the gate counter - come to find out, the flight is NOT cancelled after all. The flight number had changed only and they were trying to fix the sign. WHEW. I still had a chance.

While all of this was going on, Babs had heard about my plight over the Facebook airwaves and came to my rescue. I was NOT gonna have to rough it at the RRI...I was gonna hang with BABS! SAVED. I love my friends. I love the Tribe. Ya'll Rock!

Back up plan in place, hovered at the counter waiting for them to tcall my name. After what seemed like forever, I got me a boarding pass.

The TravelDiva was going home!

I was felling mighty low...but then he called my name. That was when I knowed there waz a Gawd.

Why, oh Why does there have to be some sort of drama everytime I get near an airport. Splain that to me, please.

2/27/09

Travel Antics-ATLANTA

-Why da hell doesn't someone tell you that the flight is delayed before you dish out $50 to get on that earlier flight? These airlines are pissin me the eff up.

-I used to think that hotels w/ the door exposed to the elements was camping & slumming it...NAW..the Ham.p.ton I,nn just took it to a whole new level for me. I WON'T be doing that again.

-Thank God for having friends just about anywhere I go. It makes work travel almost bearable. Without Babs & Neil, I think I would have stabbed someone.

-Do I look like a woman you can just ask "Is your diamond real? Really? So don't get all pissed when I say "What da hell do YOU think". Imma shank someone for sure.

-No, you hick mofo's, I don't walk anywhere of significant distance in my Charles David's. Not when we got a effin rental car & especially not to go to that dump of a restaurant. What are these people thinkin?

-How many times do I have to tell you...I AM NOT THE EFFIN ONE!!!

-No, there is NOT a hotel in DC (that I'm going to stay in) for $89 a night. Attend & work that conference your damn self from the Knights Inn. I'm staying at the Westin.

-Rick Sanchez asked if we would pay to use the bathroom on the plane. I told him to GTFOOH wit dat mess and tell the airlines that they might not want to consider that unless they want to find little mushy gifts & wet spots in the seats. Any money they would make would go towards cleaning. Idjits.

-Watching people in the airport is just freakin hilarious...an often quite freakin sad. I need to carry a mobile wax kit, pedicure station & lots of Spanx. I'm just sayin.


I'm tired of drinkin and makin small talk with strangers. Going to the gate to wait. I'm sure I'll have more commentary later. How could I not..this place is ripe with stories.

Lisa Steptoe

2/24/09

The Fresh Air Fund - Sponsor Families Needed

The Fresh Air Fund is in need of hosts for this summer. Host families are volunteers who open their hearts and home to a child from the city to give a fresh air experience that disadvantaged children never forget.

Do you have the space, the time & the heart to open your home to a kid this summer? If so, check out the Fresh Air Fund -
Host a Child
Thanks to host families who open up their homes for a few weeks each summer, children growing up in New York City’s toughest neighborhoods have experienced the joys of Fresh Air vacations. More than 65% of all children are reinvited to stay with their host family, year after year. Fresh Air Fund Host FamiliesThere is no such thing as a "typical" host family. If you have room in your home - and your heart - to host a child, you could be one too.

Mafia Wars

I have a new addiction...above & beyond my addictions to all things red wine, my crackberry, facebook, twitter (although tat is waning)....and its a facebook application that an EEEEEVIIIILLL friend of mine invited me to join.

Mafia Wars

I hate her and yet, at the same time, revere her prowess as a high level Mafia Don. I spend time plotting wo I'm gonna attack, rob, sucker punch or accept a hit contract on during the oddest times...LIKE WHEN I'M SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING. I worry & fret during the day, when I'm out seeing clients that I'll have had my azz whooped and my money robbed cause I wasn't there to master jobs such as Heist a Bank or Collect on a Debt in order to increase my ability to repel attacks & defend myself.


I finally figured out that I had to update the family members in my Top Mafia based on their experience level so I could win more fights and have more powerful backup when a mofo feels they can jump me all willy nilly. I need them to earn more money & experience when doing jobs. Sorry guys...if you ain't trying to move up the Mafia ranks, Imma have to replace you on my Top List. Survival of the fittest.


God help me, if this becomes a free standing app for my BB. I'll never get a damn thing done. PERIOD.


I hate that Bella chick something fierce cause I need a 12 step program.

2/22/09

Princess Cara's 5th Birthday

The Course of My Life...

...set by a dare.

I had the most wonderful Birthday Surprise Visit. BUBBA WAS IN DA HOUSE. Bubba and I have been together as friends for 32 years - since middle school. We were road dawgs, ride or die friends. I called him Bubba (still do)...he called me Scrubbette (still does) - AND DON'T YOU EVEN TRY IT. He was a year ahead of me in high school and when he graduated, he went to the United States Military Prepatory School - The Prep School for kids with great potential, but not necessarily the SAT scores to get directly into the Academy. They "Prepped" you for a year and then you entered West Point.


Bubba came home during a break and, of course, we hooked up...that's what ride or die BFF's do. Of course, I was the friend who always ended up in a head lock trying to wrestle my way out of it from a wrestler & football player - probably cause I didn't approve of the scraggley girls he brought around. N. E. Way...during that break, Bubba told me that "there was no way in hell a Scrubbette like me could ever get into the Military Academy." Ummm...he didn't know about me obviously.


I told him that I would get into the Academy, and since I was WAAAAAAY smarter than a Bubba like him, I would be his classmate. DA HELL with going to the Prep School.


And my course in life was set. You know the story...I am a 1987 Graduate of the United States Military Academy...I won the bet.


And I wouldn't change a thing.


Funny thing...I'm still Scrubette...He is still Bubba. Life is Grand. I love you, my friend. Thanks for the Memories.

The Usual Suspects - Feb 2009

I know for a fact that CreoleInDC has it right - we have some fabulous, amazing, lovely friends. I make a special effort to make each one of our gatherings because it is so much fun. Who else can you share your stories, foibles, random acts of stoopidity, failures & triumphs with and get the down right honest to goodness truth (perhaps a beat down a times with love) and walk aways laughing, smiling & happy no matter what - cause you were with your ride & die girls.


That's just the way it is.


Thank you all for making my birthday that much more special...and GBaby too (Imma remember to pack a pair of walking shoes if I'm ever riding with Gbaby).


P.S. Stay off of my corner, ladies...I gotta work. *Looking under my desk*

2/21/09

43 Randoms for my 43rd Birthday

1. I Am Relentless - a firery, driving force that lets no setback, no obstacle get in the way of achieving a noteworthy goal.
2. My husband thinks I'm a borderline genius - I agree.
3. I have issues, but I'm self aware of them and deal with them accordingly.
4. I suffer stoopidity poorly. Stupid people get on my nerves and as much as I try to hide what I'm feeling or thinking, it shows on my face and in how I react. Usually doesn't go well, so I tend to avoid stupid people.
5. I can't stand it when people whine about their lot in life all the time, but refuse to take action steps to change it. STOP GLOBAL WHINING.
6. I hate it when people count my money for me. Stop adding it all up. You don't have the faintest idea what it took to get what you think I have, you have no idea about the sacrifices & hardwork and if you did, you probably wouldn't want to do it yourself. Worry about your own ish and we will take care of ours.
7. Furthermore, we don't take advice and don't take kindly to broke people giving us advice about how we should conduct our business and handle our finances. Ummm, how you gonna give me advice on something you have no concept about. Seriously.
8. I stopped "apologizing" for a lot of shayt a long time ago. Yall, know what I'm talking about.
9. ...and I refuse to wallow in your misery with you.
10. I find it amusing how some people think things are "so simple" because it works for them and that that same ish should be "so simple" for everybody else. Life don't work out that way.
11. Everything ain't about you... or me. While I personally believe that they Universer revolves around me...I try to keep it to myself, since I also know that everything ain't about me... I really wish others would realize that too.
12. I can't stand listening to someone crack gum. I find it just ignant and trashy.
13. I beleive I was born in the wrong century & if Worf beamed down and dragged me back to the Enterprise, I wouldn't kick or scream about it at all. I'm boldly going.
14. I don't believe I have much fashion sense, but I know what looks good on me and am willing to pay out the nose for it to ensure quality.
16. I also do not have the patience or the time to slep through racks and racks of stuff and go to discount stores constantly in search of the elusive bargin. I just don't. I walk into to some stores and there is just too much stuff - it makes my eyes twitch and gives me a headache. Thus, I have less "stuff". I do buy on sale a lot...yet I'll take quality at a certain price point over quanity any day to preserve my sanity.
17. I do love places like Ikea, Saks Off Fifth, Nordstrom Rack & Costco's. Go figure.
18. My family believes I am their personal tech support and are sarcastic & sick enought to always order Indian cuisine whenever I'm working on their hardware. I need new family.
19. My mother is the coolest...and getting more & more ornery, sassy, fiesty & set in her ways the older she gets - I'm becoming more & more like her the older I get.
20. I love my grandmother. She is old school - like white glove, WWII old school. She's got no problem telling you about yourself- all with love, a hug, and some good home cooking. I pray to get her age and be able to say what I want, wear purple & spit.
21. My vice - Red Wine & Martini's.
22. Remind me someday to tell you the story of how The FireMarshall got his nickname. It is a hilarious story.
23. I don't believe in Luck.
24. I know I have a purpose. I know I have a destiny. I keep moving forward.
25. In addition to having vices, I have addictions - my crackberry, facebook, bikram yoga...I'm sure there are more.
27. Why can't I stop watching Lost, when every time I get frustrated and watch to choke the shayt outta that bazstard Ben.
28. I can't stand being waited on/getting service from people who don't speeeka ne english. You are in friggin America, speak ENGLISH. Jeeze.
29. I am so ready for a vacation and am thinking Paris with The FireMarshall.
30. Don't let the cute smile and friendly demeanor fool you, I'll cut a mofo quick.
31. I've been to Jungle Warfare School, I can shoot marksman, and still know how to set up a defensive position. Why do people still want to test me?
32. ...cause I've watched like 10 seasons of Law & Order and CSI. I believe I could get away with dispatching some sorry individuals who keep trying me and my patience without leaving any trace. Come on, try me.
33. I have been stripped searched at the airport. Ron says I should have let one rip since they wanted to get all personal with me.
34. I hate it when my husband asks me to give him a synopsis of a show after it has been on for 5 seasons. I just can't. DON'T ASK.
35. I beleive in God but am still having a big issue with organized religion...like church and the people in them. I told you I have issues.
36. I collect things - USMA China, Snow Globes from the places I have traveled to (I currently have about 20), Masks (or similar artwork) from the places I have traveled to or my friends bring me(approx. 25).
37. Almost every piece of furniture or art in our home has a story. So many wonderful memories.
38. I love taking pictures.
39. I love being married.
40. I love entertaining.
41. I hate working, but I work hard...and play hard.
42. I have the most amazing and wonderful friends.
43. I am blessed that I am alive!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2/20/09

It's My Birthday

I put this video together for my 40th Birthday Party - it was such a hit and not too many years have passed since that it requires updating. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.
Happy Birthday to Me!


2/19/09

Somewhere Out There

CreoleInDc asked a question on her blog about what our favorite Disney Movie was and it brought back a flood of memories. Even the FireMarshall looked up from the news and smiled when I asked him...and I fell in love again for the fact that he remembered "Our Song", our movie from so many years ago.

During out senior year at West Point, one of the only outings was going to the movies in Mahan hall. It was dark, quiet and you could hold hands without anybody saying anything (no PDA, ya know). It didn't even matter what was playing, it was an an outlet. We went to see American Tail. The FireMarshall and I were engaged, getting ready to pick a post and decide the course of our lives. We sat in the dark watching the movie and it both dawned on us that we would be married for about 30 days and then separated for almost 6 months while we were at our respective Basic Courses. Sigh. And then this song played during the movie:



Somewhere Out There...
Somewhere out there,
beneath the pale moonlight,
someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight.

Somewhere out there,
someone's saying a prayer,
that we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there.

And even though I know how very far apart we are,
it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star.

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby,
it helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky.

Somewhere out there,
if love can see us through,
then we'll be together,
somewhere out there,
out where dreams come true.

We knew we were gonna make it...and we did...we still are.

When I took piano lessons. I learned this song on the piano and played it at my first recital, 18 years later.

I pray that eveyone finds someone...to share moments like this...under the pale moonlight.

My Visual DNA

Youniverse Personality TestYouniverse Personality Test

Amazing how close on target this is....Try it....Quick Summary:

Mood: Go Getter - I'm romantic in my outlook with a tast for the exotic...I love feeling the see breeze in my hair, the sun on my skin...I take the first dip...In art, I appreciate precision & hard work...Nothing is more impressive than real craftmanship

Fun: Thriller - I know how to take things nice & easy...For kicks, I will always opt for the chance to broaden my horizons and love the inspiration that exploring new cultures brings...

Habits: Back to Basics - I love the luxury to taking time for myself...my choice of drink reflects a refined, classic taste...At home, I am definitly a traditionalist and style is a definite priority.

Social: Fun - Friendship is about enjoying yourself and seeing the funny side of life...I'm open to new experiences.

From CreoleInDC: Pooping at Work Survival Guide

Imma have to quit her for sure - http://creoleindc.typepad.com/rantings_of_a_creole_prin/2009/02/from-my-inbox-p.html

2/18/09

Bikram Yoga: The Challenges of Being Breast Blessed

Bikram Yoga is an addiction for me...and an amusement. It amuses me to see how far I can push, twist, stretch & bend my body. I love the challenge and keep going back for more...to see if I can make a breakthrough each day.

One thing that almost always gets me chuckling to myself in the middle of class is attempting to do the poses which require you to put your forehead on your knee. I don't care how flexible you are, if you have breast that require anything larger that a C-cup for support - IT IS HIGHLY UNLIKELY THAT IT IS GONNA HAPPEN FOR YOU...without actually suffocating on your own breast tissue.

Seriously.

I'm a 42D on a good day and no matter how much I try to
  • Strap these puppies down
  • Tuck my face in between them - yeah in the cleavage
  • Tuck my chin, suck in my stomach so hard that my intestines are shoved down into my cervix, and rolling one vertebrae at a time down
  • Pull on my heels, the ball of my foot or any other part of my body till I'm crunched in half

I'm not going to be able to get my forehead on my cotton picken knee. I keep trying. I keep almost passing out from lack of air. Yes, Yoga Torture Instructor (aka - my Bikram crack supplier) I am cutting off the supply of blood to my brain. Practice will make perfect. *SMH*

I've looked around and my fellow big breasted yogi's are all having the same issues. Occasionally, I catch the eye of one of my BBY's and we share an amusing smile and keep on truckin.

I'm off to another class today...I may not get my head on my knee, but I'm gonna try to stick toe today (at least on my left side). Nothing but my fear in the way of that pose. Fear I can get rid of...the 42D's...not so much.

2/17/09

The Beginning of Stories of a Traveling Diva

It all started with my 40th Birthday and one of the most wonderful vacations that I have even been on (it was my 40th Bday gift) EVER. I've been on some spectacular trips, but his one is at the top of fantastic. What made this trip even more spectacular was that my BFF Val and her beau (now husband) went on the trip with us. It is a rarified thing to find another couple that you can travel with. We are the perfect travel companions. Manny and I are the divers, the adventure seekers - Val and The FireMarshall are the layed back ones, escorting us on our adventures, waiting for our return - We all met every afternoon for tea, dinner & fun. It was the time of our lives.

I have always journaled my adventures and sent an email to my friends & family daily of pictures and my musings. You should have seen me translating directions from French to English to find an Internet cafe. I have an awesome story on what happened on my way to said cafe, but that for another time (it happened before I started blogging). Well, my girlfriend Terri of HomeAtLastFarm fame (and starting to become a LAME blogger-yeah, I called you out), told me that I could NOT go on the Tahiti trip and just send emails. She insisted I set up a blog to chronicle the adventures. That is how Stories of a Traveling Diva began. (If you wanna go back to the beginning - click here)

I put together this video slide show from the trip. It's about 10min long, but it is well worth the watch. This is the stuff that dreams are made of.

2/15/09

A Father with His Daughter

My heart just melted.

Love & Marriage: Here's What I Know

I mused yesterday that I have been married for a little more that half my natural life (22 years this coming June) and moreover, been hanging with the same man for way over more that half my natural life (27 years). The FireMarshall and I have been together since we were 18 & 17 years old respectively. A long time.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and I find it amusing actually, how much angst, gnashing of teeth, misery & heartache goes into planning for, hoping for, longing for LOVE on this one single day. I like to think that Valentine's Day - the day on which lovers are supposed to express their love with gifts & cards - is everyday. Why do you have to wait for a special day to do that? But that is just me.

During the course of our comings & goings yesterday, The FireMarshall and I got some interesting questions:
- So, what did your husband get you for Valentines? Did you get flowers? Nothing much & Nope. My husband gave me a beautiful plant - A Hardy Lily called the Mona Lisa - sat beside me and told me a story about why he chose the Hardy Lily for me, what I should expect as each bud opens, and then read me a card that summarized he feelings & sentiment. It was thoughtful, romantic & beautiful. Since I get gifts, treats & love year round - this moment was all that more special.

- Wow, you've been together a long time. You're so lucky to have each other. Yes & Luck Ain't Got Nuttin To Do With It. So many of my friends, so many ladies are looking for a long time, committed companion. However, I often witness a bunch of self sabotaging behavior & attitudes that prevent them from finding the right guy and keeping him.

I've been married for a long time. Here are a few things that I've learned along the way that have blessed me with a long & loving relationship:
  • Stop trying to Save-A-Baztard. You can NOT change the basic character and/or moral center of a man. STOP TRYING. There is not enough love in the world, let alone your heart, to change a baztards basic nature. It ain't gonna happen. So if he's the finest thing sliced bread, but is a womanizer, abuses you mentally and/or physically, a thief, drug addict/dealer or any other numerous vices - MOVE ALONG. You can't and shouldn't give your love to a Baztard.
  • Along the same lines...if your guy has something or does something that irritates the ish outta you...decide now if you can live with it FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Cause most ish, he ain't gonna change. Whatever it is...ask yourself if you can live with it after you're married and living together EVERY DANG DAY. Whatever is plucking you, multiply it by 10 - that's how bad it will be after marriage. Can you stand it? No. MOVE ALONG.
  • Learn to friggin COMMUNICATE! STOP holding grudges, stop pouting, stop coping an attitude. JUST FRIGGIN STOP IT. Grow up and learn to communicate. Learn his language. Learn what make him tick - what he will respond to. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. Be able, as a mature woman, to have a reasonable discussion with your man. LEARN TO FIGHT FAIR.
  • STOP USING CHEX AS A WEAPON! Chex between you and your loved on is not supposed to be viewed as an instrument of war. You're mad about something...Talk about it. He won't take out the trash when you want him to...Discuss it. You're tired & been working all day (either at home or out)...come up with a way to wind down & relax (Chex is actually a great stress reliever ya know). Get over yourself. You finally got yourself a decent, loving, hard working man that cherishes you and you wanna play spiteful games. You've been blessed...the least you can do is lift a leg.
  • Don't Let the Sun Set & Rise on Your Anger. Kinda goes hand in hand with the two above. Don't go to bed mad. Work it out. Talk it out. Discuss it. In 22 years, we have never gone to sleep with anger, hate, malice on our hearts. We been up to the wee hours of the morning, but I've NEVER woke up with hostility in my heart. If you can't do it, then perhaps you might want to do some introspection.
  • The Words Of Your Mouth are LIFE & DEATH. A real man will swim through shark infested waters to bring his beloved a glass of lemonade. He will slay dragons, kill vampires & rule the mf'n world just for YOU as long as you believe it him. You want to single handily destroy your mans ego, his pride, his ambition...keep telling him that his dreams are stupid, keep telling him that he ain't ish, keep telling him he is a loser...AND THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE FRIGGIN GONNA GET. A loser. A man without hope, without dreams...and all those promises he made of a brighter future, all those dreams & plans you made together will be dashed upon the jagged cliffs of the words of your mouth.
  • STOP GOSSIPING & COMMISERATING. I have no problem occasionally telling of an amusing story from the files of The TravelDiva & FireMarshall. BUT I WILL NEVER sit with my girls or any bunch of women and gossip about the mess ups, foibles of my husband. I will NEVER disrespect my husband like that EVER. Whether his is being a jerk or not, I ain't about to put our personal business out on the street. I'm also not going to sit there and listen to you do it to your man either. The power of life & death are in your mouth. DECIDE how you are going to use that power.
  • Love is an ACTION VERB. TAKE ACTION. Seriously. Think about that for a moment. I choose to Love my husband every single day. I take action each and every day to keep our love alive & flourishing. Passion, Lust...that is all wonderful & great...but it waxes & wanes and is not the stuff that Ever After is made of. Love & Romance ... Commitment ...Cherishing...these are the actions that Ever After is made of.
  • Remember, no matter what, HE IS ALWAYS YOUR KNIGHT. The FireMarshall is my Knight. Sometimes he is my Knight in Shining Armour, riding in on his pristine white horse, standard raised high. Other days, he is just my Knight...the armour is dented, rusty, he stinks, the horse is muddy and the standard is ripped. But he is still my KNIGHT. I love him - Thick & Thin.
Take it for what its worth or don't. Luck ain't got nothing to do with it.

2/14/09

Happy Valentines Day

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2/10/09

Crimes of Passion - Family Violence


I will be no good for any jury duty from this moment on where the crime is a crime of passion...
A crime of passion, in popular usage, refers to a crime in which the perpetrator commits a crime, especially assault or murder, against a spouse or other loved one (in my case, a family member) because of sudden strong impulse such as a jealous rage or heartbreak (who about just plain rage) rather than as a premeditated crime. In the United States civil courts, a crime of passion is referred to as temporary insanity.
because I now know first hand what would push a reasonably calm, sane and well-adjusted woman to want to pick up a crow bar and beat her kin into what amounts to soup and do some kinda of feral "children of the corn" happy dance in said kins entrails.

Was that vivid enough for you? Did that create a mental picture of the amount of rage and despair I experienced last night as I discovered the latest escapade that my sister was involved in and how she used my identity to avoid getting immediately popped for a violation of parole. I don't even recall how I got home from the gym last night...I honestly don't remember. I remember calling my mother to tell her the latest and her insisting that I come straight home. I don't remember if she talked to me all the way home or what.

What I know for a fact is that the last straw was snapped, the camels back was finally broken. I don't care what anybody says anymore, I don't give a rats azz that she is "family." After 20+ years of letting the rabid dog continue to bite that hand that has been feeding, clothing & raising her children as my own; taking the freakin rabies shots of conscience, guilt & save-a-heffa - I AM DONE.

Remember this post...I didn't send that letter and didn't do what I said, but let me tell you now...THE GAME IS ON FOR F&*CKIN REAL.

Dear Sis -
Just cause you are family doesn't mean we have to keep letting you screw us over. We've been playing the suckers for so long...cause you was family. Guess what, sweetie. This village just ousted its idiots and you are on you eff'n own.

No more money. No, you can't come over anymore. No, I don't have any groceries for you. No you can't use my car. You are excommunicated from my life. Done. I will NOT be laying face down on the hood of a police car for some dumb azz ish you have done in my name. You have gone too far and have finally run up on the wrong one. Stupid heffa.

Let's see how long you can survive screwing your friends like you've done your family. Oh, and when you end up back in jail, I will NOT accept your collect phone calls, I will no send you commissary money, I will not order you supplies from the prison catalogs, I will not put money on your phone card, I won't even get you stamps. Jail is gonna really suck without outside benefactors, huh.

(Holding my 3 middle fingers up) - READ BETWEEN THESE LINES SISTER. Yeah, I done said it. Humph. You just couldn't do right, not even to the hand that feeds you. It's too bad - cause now I've lost a sister.

May God have mercy on your soul.


Rest assured, I am in contact with your parole officer and several Detectives from the police department...you are going back to jail and it is now my mission in life to help them put you back there for good. Three strikes baby...the best therapy for a sociopath like you is confinement. I have to protect myself, my reputation, MY children, my family and if the only way to do that is to get you off the street...SO F&*CKIN BE IT! The only life that is going to be damaged or ruined is YOURS. TRUST ME!

It is done. *slowly, the red haze I see is dissipating from my eyes*

2/6/09

Are You Serious?

If you have never before considered the consequences of your asinine behavior at your place of employment, then perhaps you should start watching the news, listening to the current unemployment/layoff numbers and getting your ish together. One thing my father taught me regarding professionalism in the corporate & business world was to NEVER burn bridges. He also taught me that if you plan on taking someone out at work, messing with their reputation or just trying to hamper a co-workers upward mobility, then you best just outright "kill" em. Never just wound your enemy...they tend to recover (even if just a little bit), get pissed and return to reek havoc right back at you. If you are gonna play that back stabbing, passive aggressive, sabotaging mess at work...FINISH IT. Put that person down for good, lest they come back to haunt you.

I have managed to survive 2 layoffs in a little under 3 years - not just cause I'm fabulous and just down right brilliant (which I am) - but because I have managed over all these years to cultivate & nurture my network AND I have never burned a bridge that I thought I might (even in an alternate universe) need to cross at a later time. I am finding out in this here very difficult economy, with layoffs happening left and freakin right to some of the best people I know, that there are a few of those AZZHOLES who actually think I (and some of my friends) have forgotten their pissy behavior and believe we are just going to hand over our network, give them rousing recommendations and help them prep for their interviews at our current companies.

ARE YOU FREAKIN SERIOUS? You see the Prince Side-Eye look above. YEP. That's me, when I get these calls. ARE YOU FREAKIN SERIOUS?

You tried to get me put on a performance plan by implying that my "work ethic" was suspect...and now you actually thought you could use me as a reference?

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

You constantly took credit for my work, my achievements and you want me to forward your resume onto my network of recruiters?

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

You bum rush my girl, bad mouth her so bad that you get picked for promotion over her because of "perceived" inconsistencies that you created and then you have the audacity to call her husband for help with an interview at his company?

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

I could go on, but you get the gist. If you have been behaving like an azz at work to everyone around you...Backstabbing, undermining, gossiping...If you are a manager, and you have spent your time finding ways to put certain people on performance plans, trip them up, hinder their ability to get promoted and/or refuse to develop that person...I just want you to know that God don't like ugly & Karam is a byatch.

Thought you were immune & impervious to bad ish happening to you? HA! Whole lot of MF'rs are finding out that their ignant azz can be out on the street just like the rest of us. Guess what...those of us who have had to pull a knife outta our back are helping each other and those bridge burners are getting a little taste of their medicine. Karma is a Byatch.

I'm just saying. So...you back stabbing bridge burning byatches (and you know who you are) STOP CALLING ME & EMAILING ME asking for help, referrals & hook ups. I'm not calling you back & I'm hitting the red x in my email box. I have enough to do with helping myself and my real friends & colleagues.

*Giving you the Prince Side-Eye* ARE YOU SERIOUS?

From AngryBlkManVA: First Day of School....

....Five Years From Now
With all the other doo-dads that are getting Obamatized...why would I be surprised if this didn't happen. Sigh.

2/4/09

Hump Day Random


  • I love posting random though ish, but hate to think that I'm plagiarizing my girl. Her randoms are so.....random & interesting.

  • I'm so mad with The FireMarshall that I was staring at him wondering how I could collapse his lung, making him suffer and get away with it.

  • I think I made an error in accepting my new job...but the error is because I failed to ask the correct questions. My bad...now the quandary is how to fix it.

  • I'm realized today that I am smarter than the average bear.

  • 9pm is a sucky time to have a conference call...that is when most of the good shows come on....Seriously.

  • I am sick and freakin tired of seeing women without the appropriate "underpinnings" on. I AM TIRED OF SEEING YOUR ROLLS AND ISH.

  • Do you know how much energy it takes to see some of the medical horrors I have to look at every day and keep a "neutral" face. I'm exhausted.

  • I am sad & horrified at the standard of care that some of the veterans I'm trying to help is getting. HORRIFIED.

  • Did I tell ya'll I'm mad at The FireMarshall?

  • My cat is getting on my nerves with his meow howling...Just tell me what you want DAMMIT.

  • Do you have a teenage son with acne? Sometimes I just want to jump his azz, pin him down, and squeeze the top of his head since he looks like one big whitehead sometimes.

  • Is the reason there are 7 washcloths in my son's bathroom because he needs one per pimple?

  • Am I THE ONLY ONE QUALIFIED to do the laundry, dishes & other misc. housework?

  • I miss Pattey & Val all the time. Talking on the phone just ain't enough.

  • ...and speaking of BFF's...am I the only one that wishes their BFF's lived closer so you could just go over, sit on their sofa, drink their liquor, & not say a word, but they know how you're feeling...so you could feel better in the arms of your BFF's. I do.

  • I look at my short bus riding Mini-Diva, and am filled with a love that I thought I didn't have in me anymore.

  • I thought I was gonna be okay with letting my son go...but the more he comes into his own and seems to not need me anymore, the more melancholy I get.

  • My mother & Romeo look alike. Owners & their pets. Hmmmm.

  • Speaking of mothers...It also saddens me that so many women have a shitty relationship with their mother. Me & mom's get along fine. She be crazier than a bed bug...I'm just a crazy bed bug offspring. She's pretty cool to me (now that I'm grown), but I love the fact that all I gotta do is run across the hall and I got my mommie. She knows when I'm hurting and interacts with me at just the right intensity/level/whatever. Without her being here, even though we don't say a lot outright, I'd be more of a basket case than I already am.

  • I turn 43 on the 21st...I am 3 years off of the "Grand Plan", but we are so close that I can taste it. I'm holding on to the dream still.

  • I got an email from the person who I gave my stuff to in the Tribe Giveaway...It warmed my heart.

  • I'm tired. Nite Nite.

2/1/09

The Mom Song


This is my life, my story and I'm sticking to it.