Date Night

As most of you know, The FireMarshall and I have been together for almost 27 years...since our Plebe year at West Point. Check out this amusing picture of us on our first "official" date at the Autumn Dance: Kinda looks like he is gearing up for a self-defense hold, huh? I remember standing in my room two floors above his getting ready to "call minutes" for dinner formation (ie. get hazed by Firstie Adam Stevenson) and in my door, pinging (walking very fast at 120 steps per min) with all military bearing comes the future FireMarshall. I was like WTF! Doesn't he know I will get my azz set on fire for having him in my room, especially if I'm late for minute calling?

He pings in and immediately asks if I would like to go to the Autumn Dance the next day. DA HELL?! You wait till the night before to ask me to the dance. "Sure!" ...and he was gone as fast as he arrived.

That was the beginning of forever.

I recently received a package from MyBlogSpark with a Stay in and go all out!® date night package from Wanchai Ferry & Macaroni Grill. The package included a box of the Wanchai Ferry Orange Chicken Entree, a box of the Macaroni Grill Creamy Basil Parmasan Entree and a $30 Gift Card to purchase the meat and whatever else I would like to go with the dinner to make up a Date Night.

Date Night around here has pretty been non-existant. We have been busy in the throws of building a business, landing & securing contracts, me job hopping to keep things "stable" till our ship comes in and so on & so forth. Date Night is considered a night when we are actually sitting down together at the dinner table. Me, The FireMarshall, Cara & usually Erin and/or Charlee. So, when The FireMarshall saw me putting these two dishes together, he brought his work out into the kitchen, knocked a few things out, did the dishes and sat down to wait for the gurb.

Date Night.

It was absolutely deliscious! Add a salad and a bottle of wine and WHA LA! A fabulous dinner in about 30 min. It was a lovely evening.

If you would like to give these dishes a try at your own home, click here to get at $1.50 off two packages of Wanchai Ferry and/or Macaroni Grill Dinner Kits. You can also enter to win your very own Date Night Prize Pack - that includes one Wanchai Ferry dry dinner kit, one Macaroni Grill dry dinner kit, and a $25 Visa gift card that you can use to create a magical date night at home.

Here is all you have to do:

  • Leave a comment HERE telling us about your first date night OR share a tip on how to have a fun date at home or out on the town. (ONE ENTRY)
  • Get another entry by FOLLOWING the blog
  • Get another entry by FOLLOWING me on Twitter - yep I still have to approve.
  • Get another entry by RETWEETING THIS POST on twitter. Include @thetraveldiva so I know you did it. (ONE ENTRY FOR EVERY TWEET)

It's that easy to have a wonderful dinner kit to share.


...And NOW You're Mad?

adapted from a letter by Christian Struzan

We had eight years of Bush and Cheney, but now they get mad!

They didn’t get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President.

They didn’t get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials to dictate energy policy and push us to invade Iraq.

They didn’t get mad when a covert CIA operative got ousted.

They didn’t get mad when the Patriot Act got passed.

They didn’t get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us.

They didn’t get mad when we spent over 800 billion(and counting) on said illegal war.

They didn’t get mad when over 10 billion dollars just disappeared in Iraq.

They didn't get mad when President G.W. Bush borrowed more money from foreign sources than the previous 42 presidents COMBINED.

They didn’t get mad when you found out we were torturing people.

They didn't get mad when BUSH embraced trade and outsourcing policies that shipped 6 MILLION American jobs out of the country.

They didn't get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans.

They didn’t get mad when we didn’t catch Bin Laden.

They didn’t get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed.

They didn’t get mad when we let a major US city, New Orleans - drown.

They didn't get mad when BUSH rang up 10 TRILLION dollars in combined budget and current account deficits.

They didn’t get mad when we gave a 900 billion tax break to the rich.

They didn’t get mad when, using reconciliation; a trillion dollars of our tax dollars were redirected to insurance companies for Medicare Advantage which cost over 20 percent more for basically the same services that Medicare provides.

They didn't get mad when over 200,000 AMERICAN CITIZENS lost their lives because they had no health insurance.

They didn't get mad when the lack of oversight and regulations from the Bush Administration caused US citizens to lose 12 trillion dollars in investments, retirement, and home values.

They finally got mad when a BLACK MAN was elected President of the United States and had the audacity to decide that people in America deserved the right to go see a doctor if they are sick. Illegal wars, corruption, torture, job losses by the millions, theft of taxes to make the rich even richer, and the worst economic disaster since 1929 never stirred their ire.

NOW they get mad?!!!

Mad enough to start an ultra-conservative, twisted and apparently insane party of Republicans called the Tea Party, whose agenda is so far to the right that it threatens the liberties of minorities everywhere, and the hard fought gains over the past century? Mad enough to allow the same party that caused this mess to get back into power and start it all over again? Mad enough to allow fear to triumph over reason, just to gain enough power to advance their own agenda at the expense of the people you were elected to represent? Mad enough to trample all over the Constitution, twisting it to suit their own purposes/meaning?

Not on my watch, not with my vote they won't. Please Vote! on Tuesday. Stop the Madness.

Signed - A "Fake" American (going by the tea party definition of what a REAL American is) that is still trying to figure out who to take America back from and/or where it went.

Our Country We Strengthen - The Strength of the Nation

The AUSA (Association of the United States Army) Conference & Expo was this past week at the Washington Convention Center. The Theme: The Strength of the Nation - U.S. Army. I was there with The FireMarshall & staff as The Steptoe Group, LLC did a demonstration with Bo.ei.ng. If you have never been to AUSA, you have not seen an exposition yet. It boggles the mind. The equipment, the companies, the demo's - unbelievable. If you do business with the Government and/or Military - then you NEED to attend AND your company NEEDS to become a Sustaining Member of the AUSA. The deals are done & contacts are made by attending the AUSA events. That's where the decision makers, deal breakers & contract awarders are at. If you're not - well, good luck with that. I'm just sayin'.

The convention also afforded The FireMarshall & I the opportunity to get together with several of our classmates that were in town for the Conference or just lived in the area. It was so great to see everyone. Thank you, DebH & TedF or coordinating the event and getting us all in the same room--I know that with all of our busy schedules and families that it is like herding cats.

Here is a short video I put together from the pictures I took at the our Mini-Reunion.

Our Country We Strengthen - Class of 1987


The Army Ten Miler

Check these ladies out! This is Team The Usual Suspects! We came together from near & far to run this race together as a team. What a wonderful experience. From the team energy, laughter & shenanigans - ummm...we are glad that Sweet Neet managed to read the team emails in time to actually get her race packet...and that one husband didn't actually end up driving to the Richmond Marathon due to wrong directions left - FUNNY!!! - to the 30K runners plus all the spectators ---- It made a great day for a race.

The weather was phenomenal too! I think my body finally decided to say, "Seriously?! 10 more miles. Did you not just do a Triathlon, a 5 miler and now you want me to do WHAT?! Naw player, Imma slow this heffa down with a hamstring strain." With sheer determination and feeling like I was running like Quasimoto - dragging one leg behind me, I finished the race is 2:06. Nothing earth shattering, but within a reasonable amount of my goal which was 2 miles.

My body actually hurts worse today than after the Triathlon. I think my body fired a warning shot over the bow. REST or ELSE. I'm taking the week off and then I'm going to start up with the Insanity Workout & the 100 Pushup/100 Situp routine...till about Jan/Feb.

*looks around room to see if my body is evesdropping* Then I'll start training again for some races & 2-3 Tri's. SHHHHH!!! Don't tell the FireMarshall.

Thank you to Team Usual Suspects for a great race - NEXT YEAR?! Also, many thanks to Becca, GBaby & Pier that came out to cheer us on at the finish line. It makes SUCH a difference to have a personal cheering section. NO DOUBT. Thank You!


Dinner with Friends

This was definitly a action packed, fun filled weekend. It started with a Dinner Party in honor of one our favorite bloggers - ForNot over at Forward Notion. We had such a wonderful time...especially if 6 bottles of wine and a huge bottle of vodka (for the Halloweeni Martini's) was any indication or the fact that we didn't wrap it up until about 2am. Just fun times.

The FireMarshall even got into the action and hooked up Pandora and we used the kitchen floor and our makeshift dance floor - ROCK, SKATE!

Here is a video slide show of the fun times. Enjoy!


Say Cheesecake!

Last night I hosted a soiree in honor of one of our favorite bloggers, ForNot over at Forward Notion and I made a....
Pumpkin Cheesecake with Gingersnap-Pecan Crust & Maple Sour Cream Topping

It was DELISIOUS!!!! I got a bunch of requests for the recipie, so here goes:
For The Crust -
Process; Stir in:
24 small gingersnap cookies (to make 1 cup crumbs)
4 grapham crackers (to make 1/2 cup crumbs)
1/2 cups pecan halves, toasted
3 T.unsalted butter, melted
2 T. sugar
Pinch of salt

For The Filling -
Beat; Add:
3 pkg. cream cheese, room temperature (8oz each)
1 cup sugar
1 can pumpkin puree (15oz)
3 eggs
1 t. vanilla extract
1/2 t. ground cinnamon
1/2 t. ground ginger
1/4 t. ground nutmeg
1/4 t. ground cloves
Juice of 1/2 a lemon

For The Topping -
Whisk Together
1 1/2 cups sour cream
1/3 cup pure maple syrup

Preheat oven to 325; coat a 9" springform pan with nonstick spray.

Process gingersnaps for the crust in a food processor until fine (remove any big chunks); transfer to a bowl. Process crackers until fine and add to cookie crumbs. Pulse nuts until chopped and add to crumb mixture. Stir in butter, 2 T. sugar, and salt until sandy, then press into bottom and 1" up sides of prepared pan. Place pan on a baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes, or until lightly golden. Remove and cool slightly.

Beat cream chese and 1 cup sugar for the filling in a bowl with a hand mixer until fluffy. Add pumpkin, eggs, vanilla, spices, and lemon juice; beat until incorporated, craping down the sides of the bowl periodically.

Pour filling over crust and bake 50-55 minutes, or until sides are set but center is still slightly jiggly. Remove cheesecake from oven (leave oven on).

Whisk sour cream and syrup for the topping together in a small bowl. Carefully spread topping over cheesecake, return it to the oven, and bake 15 minutes more, or until set. Turn oven off, crack the door, and leave cheesecake inside for 20 minutes. Remove from oven, cool to room temperature, then cover loosely with plastic and chill overnight. To serve, remove sides from the pan, then slice with a sharp knife dipped in hot water and wiped dry before each cut.

Enjoy! We sure did.


No Way Out? No Options?

I don't think I've ever believed that I had no options; no way out of a situation. I've never been in a place in my life where I would let other people abuse me, diminish my worth, de-value me and/or use me like their personal byatch because I felt that I had no way out - no other options - no where else to go.

That is the situation the girl who is the not only the Nanny but also the Personal Assistant Byotch to the Executive Director at the little start up I am was working at feels she is in. It is just a sad state of affairs...

...and after hearing her story and working with this girl for over 4 months, I am so pissed off about the situation I could spit nails. I have spent every evening after the convention we were working at last week listening, coaching & trying to give some moral support to this young lady who fought back tears trying to figure out how she was going to make it (both mentally & financially) if things keep going as they are. I was so fired up that it became a mini-mission to help her back onto a track where she isn't being used like a "Hebrew slave" of old - making bricks with only the straw she cleaved from the fields during off hours. HUMPH!

I told (via Twitter) the story about the alleged "actress/model" the company hired to work as a "floor girl" for the booth. Her job was to pass out brochures and get doctors to come to the booth. Well, she got to Chicago and when she found out that she would have a roommate and that the room was not ready upon her arrival - she up and quit. Re-booked her flight for the next morning and rolled out stating "I'm an actress & model and I don't room with other people." Whatever. Girl Bye. I got this 2 bathroom suite all to myself.

Not so fast. The HR person had this itty bitty room (you couldn't have the bathroom door open at same time as closet or main door) and asked if her roommate could move to my suite. Being the nice lady that I am not, I said sure. So, that is how I ended up rooming with the Executive Directors Personal Assistant Byotch (PAB).

PAB moves in and during our honeymoon (get to know ya) period, I find out that this chick is 22 years old with a son and a triflin' baby daddy. Now PAB has GOT to be THE HARDEST WORKING, most detailed oriented, meticulous, dedicated 22 year old I have ever met. Whenever I have tasked her to do something in the office, she always delivers above & beyond the call of duty. Without question - Without hesitation.

So, when she lamented about he $30/day per diem, asked if we were getting that money AT the show, sobbed that she had used all her cash paying for cabs running back & forth to the hotel/Hom.eD.epot/Tarje' for booth items and finally blurted out that she only makes $800 every two weeks to act as the Directors Nanny & PAB, I lost it.

She went on to tell me stories of how:
  • she has been asked to stay late (w/o overtime) to work - sometimes till 10pm or later
  • pick up the director's kids (making PAB late to get her own son to the tune of $10 every 30min late w/o reimbursement)
  • yelled at for leaving the desk to go to bathroom (nobody else is qualified to pick up the MF'n phone)
  • pay to feed the Directors kids w/o reimbursement
  • called at all hours of the night to do random stuff w/o compensation (I say don't answer the friggin phone)
  • if the Directors CC is declined or she doesn't have cash to give PAB, asks her to use PAB's own money and she'll get it back to her - taking days & sometimes weeks to do so.
  • ...and so on & so on & so on

I asked PAB why she didn't "just say no"; why didn't she tell the boss that "this is unacceptable" or "I can not accommodate your requests without immediate compensation" and what not. That was when PAB told me the "thing" that kept her "afraid" to do or say anything. She proceeds to tell me the story about the time she was living with her baby's daddy (BD), but he decided it would be more fun to live with his boy than PAB & his son. BD and his boy thought it would be best if they got PAB to pay B.G.&E and cable set up and then they would put PAB out...on the street. SERIOUSLY? Who puts their kid & kid momma out on the street? WHO DO DAT? N. E. Way...PAB overheard the plot, confronted them and friend decided PAB need a good ole slappin' around while BD just watched. GTFOOHWTBS! PAB fought back while BD watched and must have got some good licks in cause friend presses assault charges. Now PAB has a PBJ (probation before judgement) on her record. And she still got put out.

She's afraid she can't get a job anywhere due to the PBJ on her record (she got an offer somewhere, but it got rescinded after background check - she didn't disclose) and took a job as the nanny for the Executive Director on a family recommendation which morphed into more and now she is getting pimped out at the office.

This girl is the nanny & PAB for $1600/month. DAMN. The average rate in Maryland for just a Live-out nanny is $500-700/week ($2000-2800/month). Just the nanny part. She takes care of those kids & works in office. Hmmmm. I know the kids are in school during the day now, but she need to get paid at least the going rate for both jobs...at least. I'm just saying.

I tried to tell her that she still has options. She is still afraid. She wants to take care of her son without borrowing money from her parents or relying on an inconsistent and unreliable baby daddy...yet the fears are paralyzing her.

I immediately text'd a friend to see if she was still hiring. I called a few other friends to find out if they needed an assistant. I told PAB to send me her resume and I would update it for her and help her shop it around. If you are looking for a nanny or personal assistant, I personally vouch for this young lady. I'm a pretty good read of people and she is what we wish all of our young people would be...Duty, Commitment, Dedication, Perseverance, Drive. If nobody scoops her up, then I'm hoping The Steptoe Group can (will) in a few months. I'd like to see her catch a break.

There ARE options. There IS a way out. I'm encouraging her to keep her head up. This too shall pass. SIGH.



I saw this on FB yesterday and thought it was so KEEEEE-UUUUUU---T.

I love my hair!

I don't talk about my hair (or hair period) much.

It's Hair. It just isn't that much of a big deal to me. I started learning how to do my own hair when I was bout 10 or so. My mother was sick of trying to figure out what to do with it besides two pic-tails or two ponytails on each side, I was sick of that too and she wasn't about to send me to the hairdressers at 10. Nerp. I've taught myself how to wet set, twist, blow out, flat iron, curl, put in relaxers, give a trim...blah blah blah...all on my own. Doing my hair now on a daily basis ain't nuttin' but a thing to me.

I like my hair how I like it. It is about as natural as it is gonna get - no relaxer, a little color professionally done every now and then, flat ironed or curled with a curling iron. From wash to final do - 1 to 1-1/2 hours. That's it. I use the products that my colorist recommends and that's that.

I love my hair...and I'm teaching Princess Cara to love her hair - though she is going through a spell where she wants "long hair" as she calls it. What that means is she wants to wear her hair "out" like the little white girls in the class and be able to fling it around. That makes my life a living hell because I'm the one that has to do it every dang on day. So, (and you hair nazi's are not gonna like this - WHATEVER!) I put a texturizer in her hair and we deep condition each week & wrap our hair every night. This week, I even was a HORRIBLE hair Mommy since I wanted to give her hair a rest (no heat, not pulling, etc) so I cornrowed her hair up into a bun on the top and (OMG!) I attached a couple of ringlets (it's her hair - I have a receipt) to the top. THE HORROR. She loves it. And it takes either me or The FireMarshall 5 min to "do" her hair.

We are happy & stress free, Daddy is learning how to do girl hair too (he is a monster with a flat iron - impressive) and Princess Cara is looking like the princess that she is. Happy Happy Joy Joy.

We love our hair.


Out of The Game

I was talking to one of my recently single girlfriends the other day and she regaled me with a "dating" story that happend to one of her co-workers. It was a doosey and left us with a lot more questions that we could answer. Why? Cause obviously we have been out of the dating game WAAAAAYYYYY too long and just don't get the new fangled dating rules of the 21st technological century.

So - maybe some of my single readers can chime in and help us out.

What had happend was...
MissA told MissB that she wanted to introduce her (MissB) to a guy she thinks would be great match. MissB says okay. MissB & MisterMan start communicating via phone & text. She sends a head shot of herself, he sends one back. He then says that he is going to send another picture and he hopes that MissB can handle it. (RED FLAG ON THE PLAY in my book, but I digress). MissB says okay.

Wait for it....Wait for it...He sends a picture of The Full Monty of

That ended all future converstation for MissB with MisterManNasty.

Here are our questions?
  • What kind of a guy carries ON HIS PHONE a nekkid picture of himself?
  • What kind of a guy thinks it is even REMOTELY okay to send ANY woman that mess?
  • Where do you go from there in the dating game now that you've seen all the goods without so much as a real date?
  • Do you date after sharing the Full Monty or do you just go straight to bumpin' uglies buddies?
  • Is there a protocol/rules for dating when you get almost to the chex stage by sexting?
  • Who should get the beatdown first? MissA for introducing you to such ignorance or MisterMan?
  • Is this what is normal in the dating world these days?

My girl and I have been out of the dating game for over 20 years. All I can do is shake my damn head. I have no words. Help us out...What ya'll got to say about this?


Smoke Signals

The FireMarshall and I were up until about 1:00am Friday night talking & catching up with one of OUR Top Mafia (*side note - do you and your husband have any Top Mafia together/in common?) that is GOING THROUGH IT!!!!...like Through the Fire going through it. For all of the upheaval, drama, uncertainty, heartbreak and just uggggaaahhh! - he is still standing.

He sounded strong. He is going to survive...and what a testimonial he will have.

There was a lot of introspection and if hind sight were 20/20 yet he is moving past that woulda, coulda, shoulda and moving forward. It is a sight to behold.

Now, I don't know how the conversation steered toward what was going on in my head (yeah I do - The FireMarshall wanting to fix/solve/repair anything that he thinks might be amiss - and I appreciate the effort), but it did. Guys - I'm good. I'm not going to all of a sudden become some sullen, bitter woman and run off and do something irrational because I've harbored this feeling too long and it went all sinister. If that was the case, I've have gone Lizzy Borden a LOOOONNNG time ago. Seriously, I'm fine. Just because I express my thoughts out loud does not necessarily mean that I need y'all to immediately find a solution. Everything can't be fixed with a man-aid. Listening, empathy, head nodding, some positive affirmations - that part is good. The "Baby, let me tell you what you need to do" - Not so much.

I appreciate the concern, but I know my role. I play my position and for that I generally get to do whatever the hell I want, when I want. I'm good. Sometimes a Diva just wants more.

I'm a work in progress.

I really didn't know what else to say after all that solution finding-here's what you should do advice I was being given. I appreciated the thought from both of these men...I did...but I don't need fixing. A group hug, doh, that would be great. N. E. Way...I was left with my thoughts, yet felt a little bummed that I had nothing left to add to the conversation.

Until Saturday evening. I was straightening up my desk in my bedroom and I found a "Reflections & Meditations" sheet I had saved from a trip I took to Green Valley Resort & Spa in Nevada a few years back. (I am NOT a hoarder). It was entitled Smoke Signals:
A lone shipwreck survivor on an uninhabited island managed to build a rude hut in which he place all that he had saved. Every day he prayed to God for deliverance and anxiously scanned the horizon in hopes of seeing a passing ship.

One day while he was cooking breakfast in his little house, he saw on the horizon the outline of a ocean liner. Frantically he ran to the beach and jumped up and down excitedly, waving his arms and screaming at the top of his lungs. Alas, the ship just kept going and made no movement in his direction.

Dismayed and dejected, the man turned back to his hut and found that it had caught fire. Within the hour it burned to the ground; all that he had was gone. The man sat on the rock and cried -- surely this was the worst day of his life.

The next morning the ship arrived to rescue him. He was elated beyond word.
"How did you know I was here"? he asked the captain. "We saw your smoke signal." the captain answered. - Adapted from Walter A. Heiby

What is the lesson from this story? What is the message I want to leave with my friend?

Never judge an experience on face value alone. Sometimes what seems to be the worst thing that could happen turns out to be the best. A setback is really a setup (didn't we talk about that?) and behind every tragedy awaits a gift. If you are open to the gift, it will be revealed.

I'm open. I can see the horizon. How about you, my friend? From what I heard - I know you are.

I love you always....


Live Brilliantly

Back in March, I ended up needing a little help in the eyeball department and got me some progressives. The take some serious getting used to. I'm bad about wearing them all the time and I'm really bad at taking care of them. I toss these suckers (I have two pair) just about anywhere when I'm not wearing them...bottom of purse, gym bag, car cup holder...who knows.

Problem with that is when I do want to put them on - they are covered in fingerprints & smudges - I can't see any better with them on if I tried. I have a cleaning cloth, but that just seems to smear the prints all over for a lovely haze. Water work or hot breath but...whatever...forget it, toss em. My glasses are abused and harassed. I must do better.

Just in the nick of time I received a sample of Brilliant Lenses in the mail to give a try. LOVED IT!

It came with a cloth. I've been using it for the past week on everything - including the front of my iPhone and it cleans those glasses & screens Brilliantly. No joke.

My glasses, sunglasses, and even my laptop screen is fingerprint & smudge free. One thing I noticed over this week was that, while it did say it had a scratch resistant formula, I noticed that everything seemed more resistant to more accumulating more smudges. I could just wipe with the cloth.

Here are the specs:

  • Cleans Glass & Plastic Lenses
  • No Alcohol or Ammonia
  • Added scratch resistance with SR-8
  • Comes with a Micro Fiber Cleaning Pad
  • Also works on Phones, Monitors, and MP3 players!
  • Brilliant LensesTM with SR-8TM provides gentle superior cleaning while imparting an invisible durable barrier that resists scratches, soiling and water spots.
Brillant Lenses is a keeper. Will I take better care of my glasses? Ummm. Well, er. Imma try. I'm doing real good with my Maui Jims, iPhone & Laptop. I'm a work in progress.

Sponsored by Tomoson.com
This Product Was a Free Giveaway


Any Given Sundy - Good Times

Last night I hosted a MyGetTogether Chex Mix Party at the house. And we had a great time. Not because of the Chex Mix, but due to the wonderful company & conversation with a great group of women.

Now I don't know how in the hell I was supposed to feed 15 people with the 3 little bags of Chex Mix. Seriously?! They made a nice snack/finger food thing but didn't mount to sustenance...and these ladies came packin' an appetite.

That crab dip - yeah - tore down like starvin savages. (That's a keeper). I also made Skillet Burrito's and Southwest Chicken Soup. Gobbled up. There was just enough soup for me to take for lunch today. The Bloody Mary's - I sent one person on home with a sippy cup. *Hangs head in shame*

The conversation...I think we covered every topic under the son and almost came up with a way to achieve world peace. And even the game was good - what I saw of it.

We had a wonderful evening. I'm looking forward to spending more time with everyone.

*working on putting gourmet cheese platter together for ForNot's dinner party this month*

P.S. Didn't get your evite for the dinner party? Send me a message.


Truths for Mature Humans

A friend of mine sent this to me today and they made me laugh...only because there was truth in all of them.

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever!

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realizethat their brain is also important? (Ladies.....Quit Laughing.)