I am all for some homeland security and for creating a safe environment for traveling. I travel a lot and like knowing that I'm not going to have to be the one who jumps up from my seat and says "Let's Roll" cause I gotta take some idiot out who wants to set his freakin' shoes on fire or some crazy nonsense like that. Thank you federal government for trying to make it safe for law abiding citizens to travel. Rah Rah. Keep America Free and all that!

What I am sick and mf-in' tired of to the point that I just want to up and slap the sh*t out of somebody, is the fact that our government sees fit to hire barely high school educated, gum crackin', bad weave wearin', size 18 wearin' a size 10 women with an ATTITUDE cause their lot in life is just shitty and they don't think or won't do anything about it. What they are looking for is someone that they can terrorize in the line and try to make that persons life just as miserable as theirs. WHY THE HELL IS IT ALWAYS ME THAT GETS THIS CRAP!

I am minding my own business. REALLY! I've already learned my lesson from the time I had to go to a side room and strip down to my underwear because when they wanded me, it went off BETWEEN MY LEGS and I might have something metal shoved up there. DO I FREAKIN' LOOK LIKE A WOMAN WHO WOULD SHOVE A METAL OBJECT (maybe plastic w/batteries -but not as a storage location) IN MY COOCHIE AND GO TO THE AIRPORT! Not happening. Anyway, that is another story. Sooooo, I took off my new chain belt that I bought from Nordstroms, took off my St. John sweater, my pumps and put my computer in the damn tray like I was freakin' told. I walk forward through the scanner ONLY WHEN DIRECTED with my boarding pass in hand and the thingy still goes off. BEEEEEP! DAMN. Okay. This woman, in between crackin' her gum tells me to take my hair down. I'm thinking- have you lost your mind BEEACH! Do you know how long it took me to curl this hair and get it pinned in an up swept coif? Obviously NOT. So, here is how the conversation goes:

Lisa: "No, I don't want to do that."
Screener Idiot: "Crack, Crack - then go over there - Crack - and get wanded then."
Lisa: "Fine"
Screener Idiot - Hands on hips: "You should just take the pin out of your hair."
Lisa: "No, I'm not doing that."
Screener Idiot: "Crack - You don't be tellin me what you are and are not gonna do. You have an attitude. Go back over though the metal detector and wait for a supervisor."
Lisa: "WHAT! I'm not the one who has the attitude. You are - stop screaming at me."
Screener Idiot: "SUPERVISOR! I'm not talking to this woman anymore."
Lisa: "Fine! SUPERVISOR!"
Supervisor: "Ma'am, what seems to be the problem?"
Lisa: "Chris, I don't know what her problem is? I do not want to take the hair clip out and she refuses to wand me. Please tell me why it is okay for your employee to have an attitude, scream and generally treat passengers poorly."
Supervisor: "Would you mind taking off your bracelet and watch to see if that is setting off the detector and if that doesn't work we will hand wand you?"
Lisa: "That will work just fine."

I did as the non-gum crackin' supervisor with appropriately fitted clothing requested without incident. Screener idiot just scowled at me. How bad do you think I wanted to turn around and stick my tongue out at the idiot. Ha Ha. Your still a LOSER! No, I just put on my sweetest Diva B**tch smile and went to my gate.

I would like to implement a new hiring screening tool for TSA.
1. Make sure they actually have a diploma from somewhere other than the prison library.
2. They must wear clothing that doesn't cut the circulation (that is already got some blockages) off to the brain.
3. Yank on the weave. If it comes out in clumps - NO DICE.
6. They must have a mastery of Kings English - NOT Ebonics

Okay, I have finally calmed down from my Foamy Rant. It really believe the squirrel would have a good one with this subject. Happy Travels.

1 comment:

  1. You KNOW they only pick on you because they wish they looked as good as you do in their dreams!!!!

    Poor baby. Go fix yourself a drink and have Ron give you a massage!
    Love and kisses,