Meeting Madness

…The random stuff that goes through my head about the shyt that happens/is said at meetings.


Why do they always thank you for coming to the meeting…”I appreciate you coming. Thank You.” As if it was optional to attend. Seriously.


That blond, slim (almost anorexic) look for a pharma rep is still alive & well.


I’m not JUST a sales rep…I’m a Change Agent. *insert eye roll*


“Hyper Focused Strategy”…Explain to me how to be HYPER and FOCUSED at the same damn time. SIGH.


I can already tell from the way my District Manager is looking at me that I have not fixed my face enough to “look engaged.” Oh well. I’m a work in progress.


What exactly is the point of being “very” knowledgeable about the disease state and process if you are not allowed to EVER use that knowledge to compare & win (competitively sell vs. competitors)? Anybody can be taught to read a damn script and saying “I dunno” get’s real old…even to your clients. Just sayin’.


Us old school change agents are one sentence away from being a compliance/HR nightmare, but we are some change agent sell our azz off mofo’s though. WINNING!


Only a half day in on the two day meeting and I’m already losing the “give a shit” battle.


I love team building activities.TEAM


When all methods of persuasion fails…inserting fear, doubt, uncertainty into the the mix works. Really..it does (but it probably isn’t “compliant”).


It’s funny how you all of a sudden become like E.F. Hutton when your sales numbers are kicking the AZZ off of every body else in the district.


Best get your umbrella cause I’m raining KNOWLEDGE down on ya’ll. (But only the “compliant” stuff mind ya.)


…and just when I thought I was fakin’ the give a shyt funk, my Regional Manager sits down next to me.


Look engaged. Look engaged. Look engaged. Look engaged.


It's 5 o’clock in the PM

Meeting nuttin’ but mayhem

You said it’d be over soon

So I snuck out to the break room

And I thought I’d just wait there

Until time for the team dinner affair

I’d pretend I was interested and I was dreaming…


What psychedelic drug was the marketing team on when they came up with the name for our new combo product? I can’t even pronounce that mess. SMDH.


It’s 5 o’clock in the morning…


We are going to do a “DEEP DIVE” into the data. o_O …vs. a shallow one?


WTF is a Secret Sauce (Best Practice) Mentor. These names for shit is NOT cute.


TROPHYRecognition/Award Time!!!

-Biggest jump in regional rank #35 to #6 (TRx MS .3 to 3.5) post launch

- Top TRx product volume in District

- Tied for Top Overall NRx product volume

- Most strategic approach with routing & teamwork coordination

- Managed care lead






Nothing makes the day go by faster than to get a call for the final interview on a dream job/opportunity.


THANK YOU JESUS for that text from Ms.Pattey…it came just as my forehead was about to dent the table.


Holy Smoke! The President might stop by the resort for the DNC Meeting also being held here! WHAT! Oh, I can’t go down that hallway. Oh okay. Yeah. Those Se.c.r.et Service people are NO JOKE. They look like if you even breathed in their general direction I would have an appointment with a marble floor, gun muzzle and some latex.


Yep. I’m moving along. Nothing to see.


AST (Advanced Sales Training)…okay…good info. SOOOOOOoooo, when your trainer AND DM admit they were “poor sales people” until they went through the training (AS A TRAINER & DM) o_O, does that mean that poor performance is how you get promoted in these streets? {{{{O_O}}}} HARD DAMN STARE.


Seriously!? So now we are Change Management Consultants?


I think I’m bleeding from my eyes.


Only things worth “taking away” from the meeting:

- Be interested NOT interesting.

- Stay in the moment.

- Seek First to Understand.


Do you ever want to drink straight from the bottle after company meetings?