9/19/09

Here's What I Learned/What I Know

Here are some of What I Learned - What I Know that came out of a FB war that has gone on just way too long:

- I know that the tag line of the article was incendiary. I didn't really like it either, but I believe that some of the content of the article; some of the points made were valid:
"There are some people who just can't help seeing this president through race-colored glasses...But it is becoming clear that the presence of a black man in the oval office...[is] cause some...to cast aside any pretense of commitment to the basic legitimacy of the American system."

I am sorry that the article/tag line offended you so much and I learned over again that it is very difficult to infer meaning, tone, intent over email/Internet. I learned to be more specific in the point I want to make in the future.

I know that I was not the one who popped off with "pompous indignation" first.

I learned that when you hit some peoples hot button there is nothing you can do or say to deter them from what they believe is the correct answer - the correct response.

I know that my statement of "Whatever. We are gonna have to agree to disagree" only enraged people more. I chose not to fight and argue because I could see that it was going to spiral down into the abyss of hell, but I became the one who ended up treating "a number of white males that went to school with me...horrendously."

I know for a fact that I did not personally call anybody a racist. I know for a fact that I did not "paint with the broad brush that lazy journalists & race baiters paint with."

I learned that sometimes, no matter what you say, that when someone is in the throws of moral indignation and seeing thru the red haze of anger, you will only be swimming in a rip time...get out of the water - especially when the fight in not in person but on these here internets.
"Like I said...we are entitled to our opinions and to express them....[my bi-racial] self is outraged and disturbed by what I am seeing & hearing and I'm going to call it like I see it when I do."


I learned that for some, my acknowledgement that there is some truth to the fact that "For a growing number of Americans, the presence of a certain kind of person in the White House..." is tantamount to being a racist demagogue & guilty by association or thought.

I know that the vocal minority is getting all the press and are making it near impossible to have a civil debate on the issues.

I learned that no matter how hard you try to get off the battlefield and back to a more civil discussion, you just get dragged kicking and screaming right back on and suckered punched.

I learned that sometimes you will get made out to be evil incarnate and all of your long past & your reputation will be flushed down the toilet because you have a different opinion.

I learned that some people have a monopoly on getting offended.

I know for a fact that I do not have malicious "feelings towards [him] or the other men who dared debate me."

I know for a fact that I was not "fan[ing] the flames of hatred & bigotry." I also know that despite all that I say or try to defend with, some are just going to choose to continue to believe that I became a hateful, race baiter over night. Okay.

I know that I find it amusing that "several people...were afraid to support [him] openly, because they feared being called out by [me]." Now that is hilarious. I was not the one pontificating. I was not the one going off and labeling me as a broad brush wielding, lazy, race baiting, ignorant, flame fanning woman. Afraid of me...really? That is FUUUNNNNNYYYYY.

I know that it is hilarious that "there are a number of people that don't say something contrary to you because of [my] anticipated reaction." You are kidding me right. I have gone over hundreds of my FB posts/comments and this particular post is the 1st time that it has gotten ugly. If you are afraid of little ole me...Bwaaaahaaaahaaaahaaaahaaaahaaahaaaa!

I know that because I tried to withdraw from the attacks I perceived on me, when I tried to explain/defend, I was ignored and deemed irrelevant. When I refused to take the bait - I was accused of not hearing them. Sigh.

I know that I was not "unbelievably rude and abrasive and condescending."...but I learned that It is okay to label me, call me out by my name beyond the scope of the of posts, to ignore & dismiss all that I have said, to tell me that I need to get it straight, to say I am "misguided" and more...I learned that I am supposed to accept your apology at face value, but I have to prove myself...I learned that those facts are NOT rude, abrasive or condescending - just me.

I know that on a separate post I clearly answered another commenter, stated my position etc. I put up 3 more comments and questions after. IGNORED. I know that I was the one not heard.

I know for a fact that I did NOT treat anyone with "disrespect" or was "dismissively arrogant." If you feel that way, I'm sorry. I do believe I am the one who has been treated with disdain, blatant disrespect, labeled and had my character called into question on my FB wall and others...but I've learned that my perception is unacceptable.

I know for a fact that I DO NOT believe your "arguments are rooted in your racist makeup." I NEVER said or implied that...but I've learned that sometimes people just want to be right at all costs, no matter what.

I am hoping that a live conversation will be able to bury the hatchet; however, know that I will continue to reject the notion that I maliciously and with pre-meditated intent did or am any of the things you say. If all that I have previously said elsewhere and here don't convince you. OH WELL. Then our online "relationship" will stay as it is, for I will not spend all of my time defending myself to you and trying to counter your very beliefs.

If you believe that I am a reactionary, disagreeable, contentious, unfair, disrespectful, arrogant person. SO BE IT. Opinions are like belly buttons...everybody has one. It seems that after several days of this, NOTHING I can say will make a damn bit of difference.

If you still feel that about me, you know what to do. Hide. De-Friend. Silence. Rant about me and my evils ways on your page/blog. Do whatever it takes so that you don't have to be "afraid of my reaction" or be offended by me ever again.

I know that it is okay and that I will go on being the decent, kind, respectful, thoughtful person (that also has a tazer) that I know (an many others too) I am.