Why I Should Probably Just Stay in a Hotel

My girl, CreoleInDC, wrote a great post on being a good houseguest - The HouseGuest Manifesto - which outlined some basics things that should be part of the good home training knowledge. I'm a pretty darn good houseguest and often stay with my friends (usually only the friends that also have kids - as mine is loud, messy & clumsy - ish happens), so no worries. I did comment that I might choose a hotel on occassion to avoid worrying about offending my host or my kids messing up. Everybody cool - we can remain friends without me buying new carpet or furniture - OR more importantly, having to beat my child into a coma all up in my hosts house.

This past weekend, The FireMarshall and I attended a Reunion and stayed at The Gaylord National Resort & Conference Center and there were several times her post came to mind as I realized I violated almost every one of the tips in the Manifesto. Go read it for yourself, but here is a smattering of my gross violations at The Gaylord:

1. Accent/Decorative/Throw Pillows - These are for decoration ONLY. ESPECIALLY if there isn't a zipper. A zipper indicates that the cover can be taken off and washed often. If the bed has these...please don't use them. >>>> There were some decorative pillows on our lovely bed. I not only used them, but I threw one on the floor in middle of the night when it was getting on my nerves.

2. When you get out of bed...make your bed. >>>> NOPE, didn't do it. But that nice lady did.

3. Don't eat full meals in your room. Crumbs and ish dude. CRUMBS AND ISH. >>>> We ate a full meal ,not only in our room (roomservice breakfast) but right there in the bed. There were crumbs.

4. Don't put food containers in the garbage can in your room. That goes in the kitchen garbage can. >>> We put food containers in the garbage can in our room. There was no kitchen.

5. Please make sure you pack "appropriate" pajamas if you plan on lounging in them. o_0
>>> I did NOT pack "appropriate" pajamas and I lounged. The FireMarshall was pleased though.

6. If you use the last of something in your bathroom that was provided for your use...please let them know so they may replenish it for the NEXT guest. >>>> I was real bad...I pulled that last bit of toilet paper of the roll and left that little cardboard thingy there. It was magically made anew upon my return later. I think that nice lady was in there again.

7. If you come in late after the homeowners have gone to bed...please make as little noise as possible. A homeowner shook outta their sleep by you singing in the rain while taking a shower over the noise of the television you turned on might drag your azz outta the shower butt nekkid and PUT.YOU.OUT! >>>> We came in plenty late and were down right loud - probably ubnoxious. SHAME.

8. If a mug says Monnie...it's MONNIE'S MUG. Let me repeat that. IF A MUG SAYS MONNIE...IT'S MONNIE'S MUG! >>>> The mugs said the Gaylord on it...and I drank out of them. *looking around*

9. When you get out of the shower or tub please spray some cleaning ish in it and at least RINSE it out. A tub going a week without some kinda cleaning gets ni-zasty quickly. >>> Oh, we were real nasty. We didn't rinse or clean nuttin out...but that nice lady that came by every day did. Thanks.

10. When you leave...don't leave a mess. Ask your hostess how they'd prefer you deal with the linen. >>> We left a mess, but I left a tip.

Now, would I do any of these things at someones personal abode...no. The FireMarshall and I; however, had a wonderful time and let the crumbs, plates & trash fall where they may. We are now on our best behavior cause we don't do any of that mess in our own home...now I just gotta keep on the kids.

...or get a live-in housekeeper.