The Meltdown


I knew it was coming. It was bound to happen. It started with accepting a new position that required 3 weeks of home study with exams & certifications that you had to pass if you wanted to keep said job.


No pressure.


It was followed by 16 days out of 21 with out of town travel that also included study, exams & certifications. Around day 3 of a five day launch meeting in Dallas, I lost my glasses (even after putting them on a GOT-DANG chain around my fuggin neck). One minute they are there, the next time I reach for them all I get is chain.


Slight hissy fit ensues. I chalk it up to exhaustion, order up some wine and try to calm my nerves.


Then I had the GI Jane run, but I didn’t feel all that pressed about it. Just chalked it up to adventure.


After 18 hours of practicing our “verbalizations” I pass my presentation certification with flying colors (as if there was gonna be any doubt) and then we have the rest of the day of meetings & more meetings.


At 5pm last Thursday, we finally wrap up and have an hour before dinner & some closing ceremony concert. I tell myself that I’m just gonna go to my room, lay across the bed and rest my eyes before going back to the mandatory fun/socializing. I woke up at 9pm having missed the whole damn shindig. Oh well.


Friday, we have district meetings and then HOME! Not so much. Severe storms are rolling in and peoples phones start going off notifying them that their flight was cancelled. My eye started to twitch. I couldn’t focus on a damn thing the manager was saying. All I could do was check & recheck my flight. If I didn’t get home THAT NIGHT, I was gonna blow. I could feel it.


Long story short…two delays, sitting at the gate for an hour, we took off at 10pm and I landed at BWI at 2:30am…A.M. EXHAUSTED.


I hung out on Saturday, did some yard work, went out with some friends/classmates – I did have a wonderful time – and then drove up to Philly to get a swim workout with Team Diva. I thought I was feeling great. I was motivated even, but the meltdown must have been right under the surface. I got home from an awesome swim and it was utter chaos & pandemonium. My niece, home from college & moved back in, was having a pity party cause she felt like we were treating her like a guest cause I couldn’t knock down a wall to make room for all of her furniture in her room. SERIOUSLY. Then I found out that my sisters boo had “borrowed” my niece’s car, used all the gas and didn’t fill it back up…and that somehow was MY PROBLEM to resolve.


My nerves were going bad quickly. I snapped at the cat.


Today was my first day in the field launching a new product and on my first MOTHER FUGGING CALL…THAT DAMN COMPUTER FAILS AND I CAN’T CAPTURE A SIGNATURE ON THE DAMN THING. 40 min on the phone with the “help” center (an oxymoron of epic proportions). NO HELP. I managed using a different system the rest of the day. Sigh. At the end of the day, I stop at the grocery store to get grub for the fam and stock up for kids when we are out of town this weekend.


And I slam the keys to the car in the trunk of the car.


*cue up the ugly cry* Let the meltdown begin.


All I could do was put my hands on the trunk (covering my groceries) and cry. I WAS DONE! Stick a fork in me. I called Ron and he calmly arranged for a Pop-a-Lock.I stood there in the parking lot of my local G.iant & silently sobbed. I just couldn’t turn the waterworks off. I was exhausted. I was worn out. That was just the last straw of a series of events over the past month. The volcano erupted.


I walked across the street to the Ruby Tuesday, tears still flowing because for some reason I couldn’t get them to stop and asked if the bar was open. They looked worried. 2 side cars & 50 minutes later, I had managed to get myself back together, regroup, calm the fugg down and I was back in my car on my way home.


We are all entitled to a meltdown every now and then. I calm right now, posted up on my chaise, The FireMarshall catering to me and making me comfy. He is handling the dishes, the laundry, Cara’s homework & bath. And yet I’m sitting here feeling a little guilty cause I just don’t have it in me to do something I said I would and I want to cancel…but I gave my word. SIGH. I’m need a rest break and I’m going to get and TAKE it this weekend. We are off for some R&R at The Breakers and I’m gonna get it in. The it will be back to ACHIEVING EXCELLENCE!


Anybody had a meltdown lately? What did you do to get over the lava?