4 Days Old

So, I'm now a 4 day old baby at Schering-Plough and my brain is looking like that commercial - "This is your brain...This is your brain on drugs." Here it is for your review...

Hell, I feel like the information came straight through a fire hose. But it is all good. I haven't had this much fun and enjoyed myself at work (as well as the people around me) IN FOREVER! I have met and will be working with some of the brightest, interesting, and fun people. Just in my group we have
  • A physician who still holds an academic position in TX
  • An RN who lived in Saudia Arabia with her husband who was a pilot for a Saudi prince and she also taught Business English in Thailand
  • A woman who was in hospital sales for 21 years with the same company before they gave her the "bend over and take it dry treatment"
  • MBA's, PhD's, Black Belts, 45 year old snowboarders and a woman who rescues Boxers (Terri - I thought you would love this woman)
  • And then there is just ordinary ME!

I know these things have nothing to do with work but they are some of the most interesting people that I've met in a long time. Most of the people I was working with at Pfizer were brain dead and/or useless, self-serving, backstabbing, CYA-ers. It was so refreshing. Even more interesting were the Regional & National Directors that were SOOOOO young. I looked at one of the National Directors for Hospital Systems and thought he looked right out of college. It was nice to see young people in leadership positions. One drawback is that Schering is pretty Lilly white - at least at the Managers Meeting. I was sitting in the room with our group and was wondering if anybody else noticed that I was the only "Colored Girl" in the room. I don't think so. We went to a Hospital Division Meeting and out of approximately 85 in the room - only two. Not much different from Pfizer in that respect.

I have a week of home training (while they finish getting us on payroll and "on-boarded") and then off to formal training the 1st two weeks in February. Gotta mail my Separation Information in and call HR to tell them I'll be official next week with another company and SEND ME MY DAMN CHECK. I don't want to hear that bullsh*$ that the check is in the mail. FEDEX it damn it. They use FedEx for everything else. Oops. I digress.

Let me share with everyone so more travel drama that only can happen to The DIVA....I'm on the plane from LAX to Denver minding my own business when this homely lady sits down next to me and VIOLATED A TRAVEL RULE!!!! - DON'T BRING SMELLY FOOD ON THE PLANE. For cryin' out loud woman - did you have to get the sandwich that was mostly made of onions and some spicy smelling dressing. JESUS, please. She proceed to consume the thing before takeoff and I wanted to say so bad "If you don't shut the lid on that thing, I'm gonna hurl all over it and in your lap." This time I just turned to the windowand practically press my face up against it in hopes that some fresh air is coming thru the cracks. She didn't get the hint when I turned on all the air vents above us - just looked at me puzzled with her mouth full. STOP the MADNESS. So, I managed to doze off and we arrive in Denver (the plan is not delayed - YEAH) and I hustle to the bathroom. I pick the large stall since I have my industrial size Franklin Planner Purse/Luggage and a carry-on. I get everything situated in the stall and proceed with the hover maneuver -

  • engage thigh muscles, assume the squat position
  • look down and make sure you got the right angle (don't want to miss and hit your shoes)
  • hold your undies out of the way (you can't pull 'em all the way down, I don't know where the floor has been- and you don't want to miss on those either)
  • proceed with the extraction of fluids

Just as I was about to let the fluid go, this lady practically kicks in the door to my stall and stands there. She had to go BAD and was now in a quandary. I look up, startled yet calm, and say "can you give me a minute?" She backs out of the stall (leaving the door open - it's really tough when your in hover position to also close the door without starting again) and goes her merry way to another stall. No apology. No nothing. What is a Diva to do? I manage to recover and we board the plane to BWI. Once again, I am in the middle seat of the last row of the plane. I've got my NON-OFFENSIVE plain garden salad and water in my lap, trying to mediate and calm my nerves since I'm not in 1st Class and I don't have $5 dollars to buy a drink. I look up and there is this young girl with a 8 month old baby who is going to sit right next to me. OH LORD, PLEASE JUST KILL ME NOW! We start the take-off and what does this baby do? SCREAM at the top of her cute little lungs for the next hour. At this point, I'm practically hyperventilating - trying to drum up some empathy again - and its not working. I snatch my iPod headset out of my purse and turn the volume up so high that I was sure my eardrums were gonna explode. At least I could not hear the screaming. I would have KILLED someone for a pair of Bose Noise Cancelling Headphones. Travel Tip: Don't leave home without them.

I'm back home safe and sound and trudging through 100 emails and snail mail. Whew!

1 comment:

  1. Oh my dear!
    There is nothing plain about you! LOL Nice try, though!

    Glad you're home safe.