It Would Just Be Easier...

It would just be easier to deal with my sisters bullshyt if she was really a crackhead. It might explain all of the horrible, stupid, illogical mess she does and lives on a regular basis. BUT NO! She is just a plain ole SOCIOPATH. No doubt about it. As my mother has so eloquently put it...my sister has a "mangled moral compass."

 

Let us review the profile of a Sociopath and slap it up against my sisters life and see what we get...

Profile of the Sociopath

• Glibness and Superficial Charm - Yeah, that's her alright. She calls me the other day to ask if she can stay for 2-3 weeks so she can get on her feet. BOO HOO, SOB SOB. When I ask her to give me one reason why I should help her when every time I do - she screws me... She laughs, asks me if I know someone who has a basement they would rent her, and then hangs up when I say I don't.
  
• Manipulative and Conning
  They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims. - When I asked her (several years ago) why she would steal not only all of my money but that of her daughter too, she said "I needed it and you had it. What's the problem." DAMN.
  
• Grandiose Sense of Self
  Feels entitled to certain things as "their right." - As far as my sister is concerned. If you have "it", she is entitled to "it". It is her due for her "suffering."
  
• Pathological Lying
  Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests. - NUF SAID. She can LIE LIKE A RUG. Period. The lies are so elaborate and malipulative that you don't know if you are coming or going. After 20 years of her crap, I've finally figured out that if she is talking real fast (to the point where you can barely keep up)...It's ALL a lie...just hang up.
  
• Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
  A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way. - A police officer showed up at my house to execute a warrant for the arrest of yours truley for trafficing in drugs and prostitution. After a lengthy discussion, we realize that my sister has been using my name, address, etc as her alias. It takes a week to get the warrant reissued in my sisters name and I have to help the police hunt her down. When I asked her (while visiting her at the detention center), why would she do such a thing...are you even going to apologize, she, once again, told me that she was NOT sorry and she did and would continue to do whatever it took to survive.
  
• Shallow Emotions
  When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises. - She will call at 3:00am (there is never a crisis during normal business hours) asking for me to come to the motel she lives at and bring $65 or she is going to get kicked out. Like right - the owner is even up to ask you for the money and why only $65? When I won't do it, she starts screaming in the phone that we never help her (I've just been raising 2 of her children) and hangs up. CRAZY BEEYATCH!
  
• Incapacity for Love - it just isn't there.
  
• Need for Stimulation
  Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common. - If you call living in a roadside motel, hanging at the truck stop to "make some money", hanging out with actual crackheads despite being on parole as Living On The Edge - my sister is right there...and she did have a warrant out for prostitution. NUF SAID.
  
• Callousness/Lack of Empathy
  Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. - Like I said earlier - MANGLED MORAL COMPASS. She is never sorry for any of the stuff she does. Actually told me that "It serves me right" for having to take custody of her latest offspring. "If I had just given her the money for the abortion when she asked for it, I would not be in this situation. WOW. If that don't beat all.
  
• Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
  Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others. - Well, her behavior and lack of impulse control has landed her in the Maryland Correctional Institute for Women twice now...she is definitly working on getting violated back.
  
• Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
  Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc. - Has been in and out of Sheppard Pratt (psycho hospital) a couple of times, barely graduated highschool by going to a special school for troubled teens, mom got her into Coppin State and she lasted 1 week.  Really could use some Lithium but refuses to take it - even when she had medical insurance.
  
• Irresponsibility/Unreliability
  Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
  See all the comments above. Don't count on her to do anything. Always promising to come and see her 3 year old - never shows...and it is probably best that way.
  
• Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
  Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts. - She has had more men in her coochie than most of us even dream about. Out of 4 children that she has had, we are only sure of the paternity of 2 of the 4. At least she batting .500
  
• Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
  Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively. - Expects me to let her move in my house and let her destroy my life so she can do whatever she wants. Over my dead body.
  
• Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
  Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily. - Probably why she is having such a hard time getting social service benefits since she has used so many last names and identities. She barely knows who she is at any given time.

My sister is a manipulative sociopath. She will charm the pants off of you but you will not have your purse or wallet later. Trying to apply rational thinking and logic to her pathetic life only makes me crazy and exhausted. It is just so sad that I have to turn my back and walk away to stay sane. It would just make it easier it she really WAS just a crackhead.