Just When You Thought...

Just when you thought you were the too big to be wearing a two piece bathing suit cause of the dunlaps and back fat there is someone who will definitely think that they are still a super model and put it on. How many back fat rolls do you see? Do people just not look at themselves in the mirror and NOT see the 3-4 rolls of fat caused by you tying your bathing suit top SOOOO tight to hold up the jugs in the front that you induce back fat rolls? And don't even ask me about what the front view was. JESUS help my eyes. I almost went blind.
Now I don't really care if your are fat/overweight/obese - whatever. That's your business. What does bother me is when you are clearly a size 16+ and you are still squeezing your behind in a size 10 or smaller. WHY? Do you really believe that you are one sexy mama wearing a pair of jeans that are 5 sizes too small with your muffin' top hanging over the front and the crack of your ass hanging out the back. AND YES - the thong underwear you thought looked sexy on the hanger at Victoria Secrets should have stayed there cause it looks like you are wearing butt floss. That HAS to hurt.
Put some gosh damn Spanx on and/or get a freakin body shaper. Yeah they cinch everything in and give you a smooth line - which can be a tad uncomfortable. Take small shallow breaths. But you won't look like you have 8 breasts and 3 butts from all the too mfn' tight/small crap you are wearing. STOP THE MADNESS. It is not the bathing suit/dress - whatever - that makes you look fat...Its the mfn' FAT that makes you look fat. Come to grips.
Please world - wear your size or lose weight. You CAN look good at any (well almost - the 1000lb man does NOT look good). Whew...I'm going to go eat some damn celery.


  1. Lisa,
    Maybe you ought to cut back on the caffine, honey....you seem a tad keyed up! LOL
    Go hose off the deck some more!
    See you Friday!

  2. Bwwwaaahhhhaaaa! You are TOO funny! Its not the suit-- its the fat! I'm gonna have to use that one on an irritating person who asks me does an article of clothing "make" them look fat? As if!! Clothes have that much power! Of course I will have to wait a good year and a half before I use this...But I cant wait!