Working Through The Moguls

Can you? Can you work through those huge bumps - those moguls - on the journey of life with your spouse? Would you even try? Or would you just say "I don't feel like it - it's too hard - my feelings are hurt - I'm gonna pout until he figures it out, blah, blah, blah."? What would you do when your man has big visions and is taking you and the family to the edge of madness - but you can see the light at the end of the tunnel?

Do you run? Do you say "fugg this ish", belittle him, downplay the dream/the vision and kick him in his teeth? I guess you can't really answer that question till you are in it. However, I tell you one thing, when you are IN IT -your character as a woman, how serious you took your vows, for better or worst are gonna hit you dead square in your mug piece - and then truth will tell.

I can say that I stuck and am fighting the good fight. Did it take some Xanax & some Makers Mark? Yep. Did it cost me some poundage? Yep. It cost me a lot of things; I gave up - sacrificed a lot - on this quest. I won't even go into it all right here cause I couldn't finish this. I also don't
believe in spreading misery, depression or a bad day. I've said it before. There is no point, misery likes company and I don't want to keep that kind of company around. I'd rather comb my hair, dab on some makeup, practice the smile and go out in the world sharing in the triumphs of my friends & family - cause our time is coming.

That last thread that was holding my sanity together and keeping me out of the loony bin was snapped last night. I thought it had been broken. I thought I was done. I even screamed at The FireMarshall that "I QUIT." I was done. In hysteria, tilting towards madness I sucked down some clonazapam and a glass of wine and I was gone.

I guess I wasn't made to break.

We didn't speak much this morning. The FireMarshall knew that one wrong word and he'd be calling the paddy wagon. He left and came back and gave me a card with a letter attached...and left.

The first time I saw you, I somehow knew you'd be important in my life.

In my eyes, you were beautiful in so many ways, there was no doubt that I wanted to spend forever with you.

And when we got married, things were every bit as good as I'd hoped. I didn't want anything to change. But...life is full of changes, and not every day can be paradise.

Together we've faced reality, the day-to-day "bumps in the road" that test every couple's patience. I've seen you in many challenging situations, and the miracle is...you're even more beautiful than I thought possible!

You're sweet, thoughtful, strong, supportive, and a partner anyone would want on his side. Not only are you the woman of my dreams, but you're also my best friend, and as time passes, I fall more deeply in love with you. - Linda Lee Elrod

I will paraphrase the letter:

Lisa - My Love,

How do I begin other than to say I love you more than you will ever know.

The recent pain and disappointment you have experienced does profoundly impact
me. I know that you feel as if I am insensitive and am not fully acknowledging the deep wounds and gashes you feel in your spirit and soul. However, the reality is that I feel and take on every tear, anxious moment, and fear you express....

I know and will forever be in awe at how you have stood up and carried the weight of the world on your shoulders (home, kids, job, finances, friendships, and support of me)....I value what we have invested our lives in (each other)....

Please know, each day I wake to work to provide you the best. Not just good, but the best.

I love you and want you to be happy and at peace.

I wasn't meant to break and I have a husband that won't let it happen.

Do you have this kind of relationship; do you have a marriage that can stand the moguls? Would you rather just be in a long term relationship & live together so that if (and it will) gets real bad you can just pull stakes?

I pray that you find the one you can enter into a covenant with and make it work for you. Love is an action verb. It takes work, dedication, commitment. Passion & lust are nice and you can have that too, but if you base your whole relationship on those hot & heavy moments alone - you gonna end up alone (or bail when the going gets tough). Trust.

Happy Valentines Day.

We Choose Love.