Tahitian Cruise - Topless in Paradise? -DDay-1

Ron and I finally arrived on the Island of Tahiti and YES, my dear, this IS paradise. It is absolutely beautiful and we are just at the Sheraton Hotel Tahiti for the day until the ship embarks tomorrow. But I digress...Let me start at the beginning with the flight.

We flew Air France. A jumbo 747 that has 70 rows of 12 seats just in economy class. That's a lot of damn people. Now, I took a cue out of my girlfriend Karen's Flight Survival Book and picked up some Somenex so I could sleep on the plane and be ready to go when I got of the plane. Knocked me right out. I don't even remember us taking off and I woke up to my tray table being down with a nice plate of food on it. Guess what, travel fans...Air France doesn't make you buy your food and they feed you dinner AND breakfast. Edible even. Anyway, I feed my face and get up to walk around. We were in row 21. I walked all the way back to row 70 and back down the other aisle. Guess what I didn't see...NOT ANOTHER AFRICAN, AFRICAN AMERICAN OR BLACK FACE on the plane. DAMN people, where do "we" vacation at. Ron and I were the token black folk on the plane AND the only people who didn't speak both French and English. Okay, Okay...I got by with a few "bon soir's" and "merci's" but we are pitiful. Just to be sure, when we landed Ron and I surveyed the crowd in the customs line and I was right. NOT ONE on the whole plane. That's the kind of stuff that gets you detained. "Excuse me, sir..maam could you please step out of the line and explain what you are doing on the plane". Mom and Erin - rest assured I was on my BEST airport security behavior...And I have been known to get a little testy with airport security personnel.

At the airport, we were greated with flowers for your hair and music. No adult beverages thougt. Bummer. The flowers here smell absolutely fantastic.
We arrive at the hotel and start off right away insulting the taxi driver...DAMN AMERICANS. Come to find out the tipping is NOT part of the Tahitian culture. Well, slap me silly. That's weird. No matter, I won't get it wrong again. Trust Me.

We get settled in the room and immediately go down to the pool area. They have an infinity pool. When you are in the pool, it looks like the pool falls right into the Ocean. . The big eye opener was that most people are TOPLESS. Let's just say everyone is topless. NOT EVERYONE SHOULD BE TOPLESS. Woaah Nelly...put those things back. I mean ladies were just walking down to the pool with no top on, or just a cover up and then snatch that bad boy off. MY EYES. MY EYES. Ron was real eager for me to join the topless crowd. Just a bit of advice before you attemp this at home...Breasts that have never seen the sun - EVER - probably should not start with a tropical sun. That would probably leave a mark. As you can see from the pictures that I am about as white as the sand here so, let's take it one step at a time. I'm keeping these bad boys covered up. I am proud to say that after viewing at least 20 different pairs (gonna need lasix now), I have the best set. Ron concurs, he viewed them all too.

Right now, we are waiting for Manny & Valerie to arrive and just practicing the Art of Doing Nothing. Must go now, they just delivered a complimentary plate of food to the room and Ron is starting to act silly with so much free time on his hands.