AWW Guest Blogger: North to Alaska

Day 1 --- So I have an evening flight out of BWI to SEATAC (that’s Seattle Tacoma) There seems to be a long standing feud between the seaport and the airport. You can google SEATAC, “Scoop” Jackson for the feud scoop.

My gate area has two flights leaving…one to Atlanta, the other to Seattle. I survey the mass of humanity waiting to leave for Atlanta…I am sooooo glad they were going to Atlanta…soooooooooooooo much sprayed on clothing that could not hold one more hot wing. The plane was late, so I had a late arrival in Seattle. Mind you, I called in the morning to reconfirm my hotel reservation, that I would be arriving late, like midnight, and that the hotel airport shuttle would be running.

You gotta know where this is going.

I arrived after midnight….now SEATAC is like Atlanta airport….HUGE! I took my 4 mile hike to the baggage area, picked up bags, and made another hike across the upper walkway, down the elevator 1 flight, and commenced to call the hotel for the shuttle. Someone at the front desk must have been watching comedy hour and thought he was going to play stand up comedy with me (why be stupid w/me at that time of nite?????) He commences to tell me there is no shuttle running at that time of nite because the sign on his desk says so!!!!! Well, says I, “Imma in the airport, I don’t have a video phone, I can’t see your damn sign, and I called to confirm before I left about the shuttle. So, whadayou want me to do?” He says, “Take a cab.”

I broke the phone hanging up!

I haul my luggage across the walkway, again, to the cab stand. It seems all the taxis are driven by Punjab the cab driver, complete with turban, incense, and prayer beads. [AWW is SOOOOO wrong, but speaks the truth] So, I start my mantra, “you can do this, it’s only Punjab AKA Jack the Ripper.” As he’s driving away from the airport into some secluded industrial park area, I’m thinking to myself, why is this the one time I didn’t pack a gun??????? My CSI training clicks in, I look for my cell phone, start to speed dial TheTravelDiva, so if something goes down, she can hear what’s going on and catch the rat bastard!

Well, I had to shut the phone off ‘cause then he pulled into the hotel. Punjab tells me that it will be $20 plus $1. I say what’s the $1 for. He mumbled something I couldn’t understand and decided that at 1:30am I was not going to argue.

Now you know this is not going to get any better!

I walk into the hotel lobby, give my name….he says, “I don’t have a reservation for you and we don’t have any vacancies.” All HHHHELLLLLLLLLLL broke loose after that. Needless to say, he did find me a nice suite.

Oh, you think the adventure is over?????????

Git up for my whoopee continental breakfast…not only did they run out of coffee BUT the area commenced to have a power outage!!!!! Have you ever tried to lug luggage down three flights of steps?????

Stay tuned for the continuing saga of “North to Alaska.”