Matron of Honor Duties

My BFF Val came in town to interview florists & photographers, look at stationary for invitations and do a walk through of the hotel for her wedding in April. OH MY GOD! Me, Teri, & Pat joined Val for the interviews. Her poor event planner, Sara, had no idea what she was in for.

1st stop: Carlos - photographer. He was wonderful. His photos were beautiful and very detailed. His books were very nice. ESPECIALLY the mini-replica books that Carlos said would be great gifts for the parents. Huh? Okay, sure but it would also be a WONDERFUL gift for the Matron of Honor. On my notes, I doubled starred that little detail. He will even go to NY (where Val is living right now) and do a pre-wedding shoot of the bride & groom. Won't that be nice.

We likey Carlos.

Concerns: He is going to get on Val's nerves at the wedding. Carlos is very "passionate" about his work and likes to take lots of photos. Val don't want all that drama. Okay. Lisa gonna have to run some interference if Carlos expects to get ANY shots of the bride without her hitting him with the bouquet.
2nd stop: Florist in Alexandria. She needs to find a new profession cause from the moment we walked in the door, we KNEW that she ain't the one. Can you say ATTITUDE? The question on my mind was "You are a florist, correct? Then where are your flowers?" She had NONE. Ahhh, it is 2 days before Thanksgiving woman. Do you have any business? Obviously not. She went through the motions of interviewing Val and we get down to discussing the centerpieces. She gave us 3 options of vases for the table - square class - large, medium, small. Wow.

Here is how the interview went:
MofH: Is that all you have?
Florist from Hell: Yes.
MofH: What are you planning to put in the vases?
Florist from Hell: Rocks
MofH: What type?
Florist from Hell: Stone or glass beads
MofH: Well, how about some of those iridescent glass stones? What do you think, Val?
Val: Yeah, that might be nice.
Florist from Hell: I don't have those.
MofH: Well, ya know, you can pick those up from Michales?
Florist from Hell (Glaring): *silence*
Val: Do you know what she's talking about?
Florist from Hell (Unblinking): Yes, I know.

Note to self: Attitude & No Sense of Humor. She's not gonna work.

She rushed Val through the formalities and promptly ushered us out the door. I could almost here her say in her head...."Get these tigga itches outta here"

I turned to Sara and said, "Sara, don't even bother to have her send a proposal. It will be met with a pressing of the red x for delete." Poor Sara. She tried to explain why she chose her - something about the price - WHATEVER. The price just isn't gonna be low enough to get past her attitude. Your outta here.
3rd Stop: Equisite Flowers (or something along those lines). I think Val found someone she could work with. We had options. We were shown live flowers. We were walked through the warehouse. We likey this florist.

No drama.
4th Stop: Amy - Photographer. As we drove to Amy's "place of business" we were looking around with our mouths hanging open at the Super Mansions of Bethesda. I ask, "Are we meeting this woman at her home?" Looks like it. Val says, "Looks like Amy doesn't really need my money." You got that right. We pull up to Amy's house and we are convinced that this picture taking thing is just a hobby. Inside the house, I ask to use the restroom. Can you say, EEEEWWWAH!? The toilet paper roll was on the floor, there were dust bunnies on the floor being collected by the toilet paper (I had to throw out a bunch before I got to some "clean" paper) the sink was filthy and there was nothing to dry you hands with. I had half a mind to kick the roll of toilet paper out into the hallway as a gesture of protest. I came out and gave Amy the hairy eye. We sat as Amy made her presentation and showed us her work - Shoddy, Lacking Attention to Detail, Expensive.

She had these photo books standing up on the center of the coffee table and I pick one up. "Wow, these look like the books I have done at Shutterfly." I thought Val was gonna fall out under the table OR punch me in the side of the head. Amy ignored me and went on about how those books make great gifts for the parents. EXCUSE ME - have you seen Carlos' gift books? NOT. I don't think so. Then she got all excited and jumped up to show us the little paper back books that she said would make great gifts for the bridal party. HUH? That dog eared piece of crap. Have you lost your mind?

Then she prints off of her computer, the price list & contract. WHAAAAAAAT? You gonna charge WHAT for this stuff that I could put together on my home computer. Okay HOBBY GIRL. Your done.

We roll out. Amy don't need Val's moolah.
We head off for drinks and dinner. Whew.

Now understand, Val and I have been friends all of our lives and yet we are on total opposites of the personality spectrum. Val was my Maid of Honor 20 years ago. I am overjoyed to be Val's Matron of Honor. Val is calm, cool, collected. I a bit larger than life. Works for us. Yet, I'm having obsessive compulsive tendencies when it comes to the wedding planning. I need a little more detail than my girl is giving me. One example would be -The Bridesmaid Dresses.

The bridesmaids dress is making me a tad (just a tad) crazy. Val's vision of the color and my interpretation of the color are two different things. I live in Maryland, the other bridesmaid lives in Chicago. Aaah, we need to have at least a swatch of fabric to guarantee that we get a dress that works on both of us and is the RIGHT color or there is gonna be an unhappy bride - cause we look like the rainbow coalition. Tacky. It took me two days of fussing to get mi amiga to agree to getting swatches. Lord Have Mercy. I've got my work cut out for me.

To my BFF - Work with your anal retentive, obsessive compulsive, attention to detail girl friend - PLEASE, Pretty PLEASE - so that you don't have to and you have a drama free day. Ya know I've got your back.

When is the next round of events? My kidneys are still sore from laughing so hard. I can't wait for the tasting.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous12:22 AM

    Sounds nerve wrecking and fun LOL