I Refuse...

I refuse to argue with crazy.

I refuse to even comment on some of that dumb ish/rants/rhetorical questions/ideology. I'm just not going there. See comment above & below this one.

I refuse to even enter into a debate with people so passionate about their "thing" that it borders on psycho. Listen player, it's all you.

I(we) refuse to join another MLM (network marketing) "business." STOP ASKING.

I refuse to allow the pot to call this kettle black without me tagging your azz & reminding you of YOUR indiscretions.

I refuse to be made to feel guilty for your issues cause you forgot to take your meds. I take mine. Get on a schedule, mkay?

I refuse to give you money anymore for whatever you say you need it for outright. If you need money for food, I'll pick you up and take you to the store to buy FOOD. Enough with the lying and scamming. Sigh

I refuse to drink your brand of kool-aid. I do what da hell I want.

I refuse to believe that your way is the only way. You are NOT the only Subject Matter Expert on all things in the universe. Hey you....I am laughing at your superior intellect - (Wrath of Kahn).

I refuse to apologize or reverse my opinion - an opinion YOU asked me for - cause it hurt your feelings or you didn't like my thoughts. DON'T ASK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.

I refuse to be anything other than me. I love me just the way I am.

I refuse to conform to your vision of what I should be/do/say. I do what da hell I want.

I refuse to allow anybody to pop off at the mouth at me with dumb/crazy/rude azz shyat and let it ride. Oh no playa. It's gonna be on an poppin. TRUST I'm going to fire back with a verbal open palm slap to the mouth.

Stop letting the "nice, pretty lady" fool ya.

I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'.

When Sending Your Man to the Store...

...Goes Horribly Wrong:

I sent TheFireMarshall to the store to get 3 items. He came home with one too many. Here's how the converstation went:

FM: "Look what I got for you."

TD: "Really, you got that for ME!"

FM: "Look at me. Now look at your man.

Look at me...Oh! I AM your man.

A man who will smell like he should, not like chick soap.

I am not on a horse."

D.E.A.D Somebody come get him, please.

Are you afraid when you send your man to the store - WITH A LIST - with what he will come back with?

BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID.

Fitness, Fiber & Margarita's

I arrived in Louisville safe and sound and after the plumber left (yeah, Ms.Pattey had a pipe near the water heater burst - just minor drama) we were off to do some shopping and then get back to get some "fitness" in.

I managed to scoop up two outfits for $50 (MsPattey knows all the good spots) and then we went over to the track. I decided to try a new 10K training plan where one of the workouts required me to run 6 x1k (2.5 laps at 10sec/mile faster than my 10k goal pace). I hadn't even thought about what my goal pace was gonna be. Since I haven't been running at anything faster than 12min/mile then that is what I set it to be. I sat there and told MsPattey that I don't think I would ever be able to run a 10 min pace. Surprise, Surprise

I set out to do the workout (we lost daylight before I could complete all 6 cycles - I managed to finished 3 cycles) and completed a total of 2.77 miles at a 10:15 min/mile pace. GET DA HECK OUTTA HERE. I can do it. I CAN run at a faster pace.

I plan on finishing out this 10K training schedule and getting my pace up. I am just so excited. (watch out BK...Imma take that hill at mile 4 of the Clyde 10k with gusto)We got back to the house and....well....all the fiber that MsPattey had put in me (apple, bran muffin, nobake oatmeal cookie and more) over the day had...ummm...caught up with me. Whew lawd.

I told you there is nothing cute after the workout. Nothin' but sweat and endorphins. MsPattey made us a Kashi Pizza that had like a gazillion grams of fiber in it (MORE FIBER), whipped out a blender & some strawberries and said "get to mixin".

We have been enjoying a strawberry margarita while watching movies.

A wonderful day.

All This in Two Days

I was on my way to a f.o.cu.s gr.ou.p event where I got paid a c-note to give my opinion on stuff last night when I got hit by a H.on.da from behind. It sounded probably worse than it was, but I pulled off 2.95 and jumped out the car. WHY ME! This poor soul of Hispanic decent, runs up to me with TOOLS in his hand, proceeds to pop my bumper back in place (it had only popped off the thingys that hold it on) and then clean the marks off. *BLINK* Then, in Spanish, he proceeds to beg me...while opening his wallet...to not call police or the insurance company. Well, after he "fixed" my car - I had no damage. His car, on the other hand was a little jacked. I tried to tell him that he might need insurance coverage more than me. He insisted (in broken English) that he would be okay and wanted to know how much (pulling bills out his wallet) to not call police/insurance.

I just didn't have the heart to take his money. I was good. The truck was good. I told him all was okay and proceeded to walk off (You know I took pics with my phone...just in case). This guy grabs my hand, shakes it, hugs me - "gracias, gracias" and runs back to his car. Go Figure.

The FireMarshall couldn't even tell I had been hit.

Why was I gonna tag the chick sitting next to me at the f.o.cus gr.oup? Byatch...contradict me ONE MO DAMN TIME. HUMPH.

Medical Update: I'm on my meds. I had my girl exam...the fibroid(s) may be back - was scheduled for a sonogram. I'm asymptomatic so WHATEVER. You can have the damn vessel. I'm done with it. Eye exam...SIGH. I need glasses.

I am fighting this aging thing kicking and screaming. FUGG YOU, Father Time. I refuse to go quietly.

I ran with TriBecca today. When she gets this breathing thing down, she's got 3 miles. I hope I didn't push her too hard. I really didn't want her to stop and we did run about 90% of the 2.25miles. She had the audacity to drop off the INSANITY Fit Test "to see how I would do" and then ask me how in the world her friend convinced her to do that workout. Ummmm....the SAME way you convinced me to do even an indoor Tri, the same way I still have the sign up for the DC Tri in my inbox, the SAME COTTON PICKIN way she go me doing swim & spins or runs with her. HUMPH.

I love me some Becca. She motivates me and I'm in pretty good shape. P.S. Thanks for the lookout, concern & advice on the medical stuff. Keep me honest. Keep me focused.

I leave to visit Ms.Pattey on Friday. Lawd Hab Murcey. She gonna give me dat watch.

I sit here with a cocktail, exhaling. It's all good.

HOW YOU DOIN?

Random Musings from The TravelDiva

I had a wonderful day last Thursday. My appointments for work went well. Then I met Sissy for lunch and I hadn't laughed that hard in a while. It is always great to hang with her. After lunch, I found a Starbucks across the street from TriBecca's gym and got 2 hours of work done. That evening I did spin & swim with TriBecca. When I got home, The FireMarshall had made me some dinner.

I slept like a baby.

I went shopping for a bathing suit to train in on Friday. The dressing room had a three way mirror inside. Got the bathing suit on and I immediately had a MELT DOWN. I that mirror (and probably reality) I looked like a whale trying to squeeze into a seal suit. MELT DOWN. It was so bad, I immediately called a lifeline (Ms. Pattey) but she wasn't in to talk me off the ledge. I had to practice some yoga breathing and work on my self-talk so I wouldn't commit Hara-Kiri right there in the dressing room.

I've got work to do.

I had a physical on Saturday. SIGH. Preliminary results say that I am short, fat & hypertensive. "Do you have a headache" is NOT what you want to hear as they take your BP 4 times to confirm. I don't even want to really know the rest of the details from my blood work - I already know that I am a walking ball of death. Do I need a spreadsheet of data to confirm that my head might pop off at any moment. To top it off, I'm peri-menopausal. KILL ME NOW. Please, thank you. My doctor (she is actually a PA) is VERY detailed oriented and gives you a to-do list. I am scheduled for an Echo, Mammogram, Pap & Ultrasound (checking on those fibroids), Thyroid scan (nodule?), Eye exam. She insisted that I keep a food diary, fill these scrips and make an appointment to see her in six weeks.

After a short pity party, I regrouped. All is not lost. I know what I got to do. Exhaling.

Since my iPhone is an extension of my hand and is with me at all times, I wanted to be able to keep & update my food diary on the go (since I'm always on the go). After a little research, I joined Wei.ght.Wa.tch.ers Online which has a very comprehensive online food & activity tracker. I was motivated.

After one day of tracking my food and activity, I realized that I have essentially been eating WAAAAAAYYYYY too much. When you HAVE to log/write down everything that you put in your mouth either as you are doing it or before (I try not to do it after the fact, 'cause some stuff might not get in there, ya know), you have a tendency to snatch your hand back...at least I do. I ain't about to write THAT down (looks around for a better option, or grabs a bottle of water).

The food diary is a good thing. I believe I will rebound. I have faith.

Prince Jordan is home for Spring Break. He is hella-funny.

The past two nights, my house has been the Kool-Aid Mama house as all of Prince Jordan's crew came by to hang out. The carnage thus far has been a devastated refrigerator, a broken mask left on in pieces on the floor and a stolen bottle of MY Makers Mark. The Prince managed to get it back (well, he got a new bottle from the perp), but had to tell him "Ya know, Man, you can't come over any more - I told you not to touch my Momma's ish. She don't play that."

You know The FireMarshall & I have "The Most Wanted" posters up on the wall in the kitchen. We just added a new perp to the roster. WHY do I have to be this way?

Those recipies for Bacon & Shrimp Empanadas and the Blue Cheese & Caramelized Onion Empanadas on Today Show Cooking School were FANTASTIC. Absolutely delish and relatively easy to fix.

Guess what? There is app for that! Today Recipes is an app. Now all my favs are at my fingertips.

I love people who believe they are THE Subject Matter Expert on EVERYTHING. I mean everything and if you are not doing it, participating in it or think on it the same way - you are WRONG. Whatever. I do what I want, when I want. I'm not much for being a big follow them cause dey say so kinda chick. I'm just sayin.

Yeah, I do me pretty darn well.

This whole daylight savings time has me totally throwed off today. I'm so behind on everything...could be that I procrastinated too. HUMPH. I still got that run in.

I'm off. Gotta get it together for this work week, hanging with the Prince and jetting off to Kentucky to get my workout on with MsPattey this weekend. Busy Busy.

What Random Musings do you have?

Workout Hair & UmmFooFoo The Bush Byatch

I was having our daily "workout" converstaion with MsPattey and we got to talking about....HAIR. Her concern today was (and I bust out hollerin) that her head was "perfectly round" and thus the head bands she was using to keep her hair outta her face was falling off. Bandana - a no go too! Everything was sliding of her "perfectly round" head. So, added to my assignments for my visit next week is not only to do some training runs with her, but to solve the dilema of the headband on a perfectly round head. I can't wait.

I started talking about my hair as it relates to all this swimming and stuff I've been doing. In general, I honestly don't really think about my hair very much at all. I taught myself how to do my own hair MANY, MANY years ago (...think White mother, black hair and not about to send me to the hair dresser every week). So, working out regularly, doing Bikram Yoga etc. didn't really give me a moments angst about what to do with my hair. I just washed, blow dry, flat iron, style. Kept it movin.

To me...it is just hair.

However, when I added swimming to the mix after I signed up for an indoor triathalon, I had to start thinking about what was I gonna do with my hair after submitting it to chlorine a couple of days a week.

It was suggested by some to go au natural. Well, I considered my hair natural because I don't have a relaxer. Haven't had one in over 3 years. The only chemical I have on my hair is some color...done by my FABULOUS Master Redken Colorist, Amy at Victoria & Alberts. I thought because I don't have a relaxer that was natural. Well, I have been informed (...and by one or two hair nazi's) that I was wrong. NO HEAT. Ummm, okay.

So, I went ahead and tried to do the wash & wear, no heat route a couple of times. NEVER AGAIN. I tried twisting/braiding - followed by a twist out or whatever you call it. I've tried just going with my natural curl pattern with a little mousse/gel/curl master/blah blah blah. I've tried that with pinning it up, trying different hair styling options. I spent a small fortune trying different products and spent upwards of 2 hours twisting, braiding, squishing, fluffing, arranging my damn hair and I still ended up looking like.....

UmmFooFoo The Bush Byatch...PERIOD. Wild. Crazy. The FireMarshall even remarked "Well, that's okay for the weekend in the house, but when we go out together...will you be putting some heat on that?" DAMN. His preference is definitly NOT the no heat natural look. I'm not gonna knock him for that.

Thus, after all that fiddling with my hair (TOO TIME CONSUMING); after all of those products bought (TOO DAMN EXPENSIVE); after the confirmation from the FM that he would prefer I not go that route...I have given up the ghost. I asked him what he thought about me locking my hair and told me it's my hair, if I want to try locs then go for it but his preference is the way I've been doing my hair forever. Nuff said.

I whipped out that blow dryer and flat ironed my hair back to the way it was. DONE.

Now will I do that to my hair every day...after every time in the pool. NERP. I don't have a problem with H.I.B. (Hair I Bought) at all. I have a reciept, so it is my hair. On occassion I plan on whipping out a phonytail, hair piece or even a wig (I have plenty of HIB to choose from) so that I can keep it movin' in and out of the gym without so much as a care in the world.

I would rather spend 2 hours in the gym or with my family then 2 hours fiddling with my hair to try and get it to look fabulous. I just don't look fabulous like all my natural friends do; I don't care to spend a whole heap of time trying to get it that way - and I'm not ABOUT to go out the house looking crazy as I "work on it". Locking would be the only other alternative and that just isn't FM's preference.

So, to not look like UmmFooFoo The Bush Byatch - that crazy, crunchy haired woman who looks like she don't know what to do with all dat hair - you'll see me rocking my bandana, ponytail or headband at the gym and maybe some HIB later if I don't have time to do my hair myself. My hair WILL NOT EVER keep me from my workout or goals.

It is just hair...to me

Hardcore Workouts

That is your heart...That is also your heart beating rapidly after working out with me...at least according to TriBecca. Yeah, yeah...I've heard it before...I'm kinda "hardcore" with my workouts. I actually think it is more like focused & intense. When I am working out, I ABOUT it. I don't pussy foot around. I'm also not cute when I workout. I'm there to workout - NOT to pick up some guy or to impress anybody else. I'm sweating, my hair is probably wrapped up under some bandana, and if I came from work - then my makeup is probably all running down my face or I don't have any on at all.

NOT CUTE. I'm about business.

TriBecca and I got our workout ON tonight. Seriously. We did a 45 min spin class first. Sprints & Hills. Uggaaaahhhh! We had a great class. Yes, I did look over at TriBecca and firmly declared that she needed to stop bouncing on that seat. She grinned at me with the smile that will get you to do just about anything (like sign up for a triathalon)...but she did add a little more resistance so that she wasn't jiggling up and down.

(Kudo's to the VERY large gentleman to my left for tearing it up in spin; however, I was very concerned for his - ya know - cause that bike seat disappeared for 45 min. I hope you are okay and can sit tomorrow. I recommend the treadmill for awhile, doh)

I really enjoy working out with TriBecca. She inspires me and pushes me to work even harder. We don't talk much - 'cause we busy breathing gasping - but we push each other through.

After we finished the spin class, off to the pool we went. LAWD HAB MURCY. That damn pool gonna be the death of me. 30 min of laps, 800 feet or meters or whatever is equivalent to 16 laps. Yeah, I was DAWG tired. I wanted to turn to TriBecca and say "Ize tired, boss. Dawg tired. Can I rest now." She wasn't having none of that. With that damn GRIN, she replies "5 more minutes." HUMPH. But, ya know, I went ahead and gave her a good 5 more min & 3 more laps.

I may have zapped her in spin, but this new fish lady has opened a can of pool whoop azz on me. How da hell am I 'spoze to hold my coffee cup tomorrow.

I am loving this workout with buddies thing.

Just makes me even more Hardcore!

...Are you ready for me next weekend MsPattey?

StoneWall Steptoe

...because "don't nuttin get past him"

Being the mother of a goalie is one of the most nerve racking, nail biting jobs out there. I manage somehow. Nevertheless, you'll know that I am a huge fan when you hear me yelling "Be Beastly!!!" during the games. Now I have a new nickname to add to "BEASTLY!".... STONEWALL - cause nuttin get's past him - after Indian Tech's win against Perdue.

GO WARRIORS!

It Takes A Village

I talk to MsPattey (AKA HandyHotNESS-Kentucky) almost every day - sometimes 2-3x a day - just depends on what's going on. Lately we have been talking about fitness, working out, eating healthy and just DOING THE DAMN THING to be better - stronger. She has been following TriBecca's Journey and loves the fact that we (some of the Usual Suspects here in the DMV) support each other, workout together, talk with each other and basically help each other stay accountable in our journey of fitness, health and achieving new goals.

She lamented that she wished she had that out her way. She doesn't have a Tribe or a couple of Usual Suspects that she can hang with, run with, workout with...etc. etc. I have to admit that this blog/FB/Twitter thing and the subsequent friendships that I have made here in the DMV and beyond is just amazing. I appreciate it and value the relationships that have come from it. However, right now...I am MsPattye's "Tribe" (and Swaz too).

It takes a village to not only raise up kids, but it takes a village to keep us accountable to our goals and visions...to believe in us when we stumble...to pick us up when we fall and put us back on the road. It takes a village to be a cheering squad, to provide great advice as well as constructive criticism.

...And isn't it wonderful when you achieve that goal - the dream, to have A Village there with you to celebrate. They were there for the journey and they are there at the triumphs (and even the setbacks).

I ask you to join me and add one of my bestest friends in the world to your "Tribe" - your village and follow her as she Embraces the Journey. Check out her blog...and let's all

GET 'ER DONE!

An Act of Congress-Verizon's EPIC FAIL Resolved

Today! we have resolution. After 30 days of no service, 1 service call where the tech didn't really want to do what it was gonna take to make the repair (trace every jack in the house), 3 more scheduled appointments - 3 no shows...I managed to get a tech to come to the house.

What did it take...practically an Act of Congress. I have a friend who is a liaison for a Congressman. This person saw my rants on FB and asked me if she could help. I said I would take all the help I could get. A few phone calls & emails and I had a point of contact at Verizon that had some power/pull to make things happen. I talked with this VERY NICE woman this morning and she promised I would have a tech out to my house today. She even called me twice with updates. I don't know exactly what she did, but the tech told me on the phone (I couldn't believe I was actually talking to the repair man) that someone had freed up his afternoon schedule and moved my call up in line...he would be at my house in 15min.

After all the drama, I was stunned to say the least.

The tech arrived - a very nice young man - who had to test every jack to trace where the short was, rewired some stuff and WHA LA! I was back in business. It took him an hour. He revealed that it was possible that the previous tech knew what it was going to take and how long, knew he had to make more calls today to make "quota" (did you know that those guys have to make so many FIOS & copper calls a day or "they" start investigation you...to be fired? - WOW), and decided to bolt. It is possible.

I even received an email today from a customer service rep telling me when I would be getting a credit for the time I did not have service.

An Act of Congress.

I still have to say, shame on you, Verizon, for the aggravation, for the poor customer service, for the amount of time that it took you to make this repair & for the fact that it took a phone call from a Congressional Liaison to make this happen. What about all the customers who don't have that kind of advocate? I wonder.

Many thanks to my friend. Many thanks to Ms. S at Verizon, who had the patience of Job with me and made things happen.

I am grateful but DAMN - it should NOT have taken An Act of Congress.

Randoms from Princess Cara's 6th Bday Party

20 6year old kids, Chuck E Cheese and a birthday - wear is my flask.

"Are we out of district?" - The location was off Rt 40 in Baltimore. We didn't have a problem identifying any of our guests and helping directing them to our tables & booths. Imma let you figure out why.

Yet The FireMarshall quipped all dead pan..."We are having a 'We Are The World' party". I hollered.

Why was there a moment when I thought I needed to have security for Princess Cara's gifts. They took up an entire booth. THANK YOU! There was some longing eyes.

"You invited the entire Kindergarten class?" *Knitting brow, thinking who was I gonna leave out* Yes. "Wow, must be nice."

I hate people sometime.

YES! I did arrange to have snacks & sodas for the parents. Why? Cause most parents stay with their kids. I just think it is polite. It wasn't Filet Mignon & champagne. Stop walking around all shocked with a wing in your mouth. Seriously.

Princesses Erin & Charlee were the BESTEST sisters in the world. They ensured Cara had a good time, supervised all the kids and allowed me to just take pictures. Job well done!

Princess Cara was just SOOOOOO happy today. Wait till I make her sign all these thank you notes. Good home training is painful sometimes.

Master Gabrielle came over for a "playdate" after the party. I haven't heard hide nor hare from the two. I think we need to have more playdates.

Happy 6th Birthday, Princess Cara. We love you!

Verizon = EPIC FAIL

Here is Verizon = Fail, Part 1 - where they made me wait 25 days for a service call, because that was the earliest that they could get a technician out to my house. REALLY? WTF?

Now we are at day 27 and I still have no phone service and Verizon is simply an EPIC FAILURE when it comes to customer service and technical support - EPIC FAILURE.

VERIZON - YOU ARE A FRIGGIN "NO GO" AT THIS STATION!

They set me up for my "service call" for Thursday, February 25th with a "window of opportunity" of....WAIT FOR IT....8am - 7pm. ALL FRIGGIN DAY. The technician shows up around 1pm, tinkers with the wires for about 5 min and comes up to tell me that my alarm system has shorted out the line and that he can't work on my alarm so I'll have to call the alarm company and have them fix it. DA HELL?

He leaves.

I immediately call the alarm company, they run a line test...and guess what, there is a friggin DIAL TONE at the alarm box and they are getting a signal. It is not a short in the alarm system.

MAD ABOUT IT!

So, I have dial tone at the junction box, dial tone at the alarm box - BUT NO DIAL TONE ANYWHERE ELSE IN MY GOTDANG HOUSE!!!!

I call Verizon Repair and tell the the situation. The person on the phone apologizes profusely and promises to have a new technician out the next morning. They schedule me for 8am-11am today.

AT 1PM I STILL HAD NO TECHNICIAN. NO TEXT. NO UPDATE. NO NOTHING!

I call Verizon Repair and they tell me that they are going to "escalate this up to a supervisor" and call me back with an update on the status of my repair.

AT 3PM I STILL HAD NO TECHNICIAN. NOT TEXT. NO PHONE CALL. NO UPDATE. NO NOTHING!

I call Verizon Repair and am left on hold for exactly 82 minutes and 24 seconds. They tell me that someone will definitely come out to my house today as soon as a technician picks up my "ticket". YOU WOULD FUGGIN THINK THAT THEY COULD TELL A TECHNICIAN TO DO THEIR DAMN JOB. But no, a technician can "pick" a ticket. GTFOOHWTBS!

AT 7:30PM I STILL HAD NO TECHNICIAN. NOT TEXT. NO PHONE CALL. NO UPDATE. NO NOTHING!

I call Verizon Repair and this poor soul had to deal with my "irritation". However, it didn't make one damn bit of difference what I said. He told me that he would have to reschedule me for tomorrow - between 3-7pm. "I'm sorry for all the inconvenience, but that is the best we can do."

DA HELL YOU SAY.

I told that young man that you could have the common courtesy to return a call when you say you are going to do it; to at least say "fugg you, we're not coming."; to let the customer know that they can stop sitting around the damn house all day waiting for your lazy azz-pick a ticket when they want to tech. THAT IS THE LEAST YOU CAN DO.

I guess because there is no other land line service in this area, you feel that you can just screw customers and get to them when you damn well please. Right now, I hate you with the heat of a thousand suns.

VERIZON...YOU ARE AN EPIC FAIL.

Inspiration

I sit here dabbing a hot compress to my eyes, dousing my eyeballs in battery acid Visine & sipping on a glass of a loverly red wine to dull the aches from a workout tonight with our own Becca - who has decided to complete a Triathlon (TriBecca: My Journey to the first Triathlon)for the first time in her life...

...A woman who a month ago didn't know how to swim, hadn't been on a bike in about 20 years and running...well, we gotta work on that.

We met at my gym and started with a 30 min run on the treadmill. Mind ya, I'm NOT anything close to being a trainer - I just know what works for me on this run thing...and here was Becca, asking questions, trying to implement a technique, giving anything a try. We did intervals and then went to dress for the pool. We spent a little over an hour just working on the skills she has been learning in her swim classes. I'm wading around with my mouth hanging open at this chick who don't know how to swim 'splaining to me what she needs to work on. AMAZING.

She is worried about this swim thing, but I firmly believe that she is gonna get this thing. The whole float on her back thingy...it's a control issue. We will get past that. Imma get her to relax and let go and she will have that down. After she made me swim a gazillion laps with her - SHEZ GOT DIS! A woman, who a month ago COULD NOT SWIM, is doing the freestyle. By the time she realized that I was exhausted, she as able to breath without swallowing a gallon of water.

I WAS INSPIRED!

Becca's enthusiasm, her pure-ness (is that even a word), her willingness to learn... AND HER ABILITY TO RECRUIT...is beyond inspiring. How did this chick get me to commit to 1x per week in the pool with her AND to running all these extra training races with her? WHAT DID I JUST SIGN UP FOR, HUH?

I WAS INSPIRED!

I will have goggles & a swim cap by next week. I will be getting me run game tight. I will be there for my friend who has inspired me AND reminded me that you are never too old & there is no such thing as can't. We are not just talking about it...We are BEING about it. GO BECCA!

P.S. ...and I'm watching you too, Pattey. YOU GO GIRL! Meow!

Who's That Girl - 44 Years of Magnificence!

It's The TravelDiva's 44th Birthday! 44 Years of Magnificence!

Guest Post: What You Can Learn About Marriage from FB

As many of you already know, our very own TiffanyInHouston is getting married soon and she recently posted a question on her Fac.e.Bo.ok profile for Valentines Day. The question and the responses made me smile and touched my heart so I asked if she would be willing to write a post (cause she still doesn't have a blog - although she should and we know it would be great) on what she learned from her question.


Enjoy...

What you can learn about marriage from your FB friends...

We have all heard and seen the parodies that float around FaceBook about people becoming addicted to Facebook, how Facebook has been cited in divorce proceedings and generally how social networking and media has devalued relationships to the point where people break up via text. We have all witnessed status updates that dissolve into flame wars, questionable pictures that are posted and tagged up for all to see, and folks sharing questionable quiz answers (do we all NEED to know your favorite sexual position??). We should have never turned some of ya’ll loose on FB/Twitter cause ya’ll don’t appreciate shhhhhh…well you should know the rest by now (hat tip to Dave Chapelle) LOL!!!!!!

But the flip side of social networking is meeting some really cool people, who share like interests and who discuss interesting topics and are pretty engaged with the world around them and I have been fortunate to have some of folks as my FB friends. The Saturday before Valentine’s Day I posted a status on my profile asking my friends to tell me how long they had been married and to give me and my fiance some married people advice.

I was very pleasantly surprised at the number of responses I got (nearly 30) and the sheer quality and thoughtfulness of the responses.

Here are a few examples:

From Dana:
We will be married 2 years this May. The best advice I can give is to just live your life and let him live his. Talk to him with love and respect (and vice versa) and always put each other first. Have fun together. You two seem like you are on the same page from day 1 and that is CRUCIAL. I've been married 2 years to a man who I'm pretty similar to (values, income, morals, outlook on life, goals, etc.), so, SO FAR we haven't had to "work" on too much. I guess if we reach an impasse we'll take it to the bible! Live and let live. Love the things that make your man unique.

From Carolyn:

Well, it will be 41 years in August I think. LOL. Open communication with each other. Talk about everything, finance, children, etc. Placing God first, then everything should follow: each other, family and friends. Remember after you are married you become one, so hanging out with your single friends will not work. Hang out together!! Store etc. :) Some people say don't go to bed angry mmmmmm, maybe but if you go without being angry with each other, you do sleep better!!!

From Jaimee:

I'm still a novice at this being married only 8 months. My advice would be to keep each other's family out of your business. This goes with friends as well. A side will always be picked and the other will be made out to be the villain in the situation. So talk it out between each other; because if you pull others in, they will have ammo to divide your home.

From Fred (the lone man who dared to respond..LOL!):

Been together 4 1/2 years..my only advice is give in to each other and appreciate each other's quirks.In a society that prides itself on being SOOOO individualistic and somewhat insular (read self centered and/or navel gazing), not only does it take a village to raise a child but sometimes it takes a village, albeit a virtual one, to educate a grown up from time to time.

And while quite obviously I don’t know the ins and out of my FB friends marriages, it was interesting to note a lot of commonalities amongst the comments I got: put your spouse first, speak in love, fight fair, keep God in your marriage, continue to date your spouse, keep your sex game tight, do not let family/friends interfere and perhaps the shortest comment that packed the most punch from Amani: ‘Don’t compare your marriage to anyone else’s. Find out what works for you! ‘

I got more comments but those are the ones that spoke to most to me. My fiancé has been married before and has one up on me in terms of experiencing married life but I am a total newbie. And seeing how I want to get it right on the first go round, it was interesting to get perspectives from my cyber and real life buddies. Who says posting on FaceBook is a total time suck?? LOL!!!

I learned a lot about what it takes to be married...on Facebook of all places. Just goes to show, that if you ask the pertinent questions, often times folks will take the time to give answers that go beyond fluffy stuff. I’m glad they chose to take the time. And I eagerly await the day to become his missus and come up with the rules that will best suit OUR marriage as well.

Meeting Carnage Randoms

I don't care how skinny you are, how flat or globular your butt is - it is tacky & ghetto to have "Juicy" or any other words splashed across your azz. Fo you guys who think it "depends" then you do you. I will give you the side eye and judge you accordingly.

Is it the economy that has driven some people in MLM's (Network Marketing) over the edge of madness so that they behave as if they are the part of the Jim Jones MLM Crackhead Cult. How many people do you think you can recruit to your business with some of that mind numbing BS such as:
- "If you are not in _______________you either don't know how to make money or don't want to." DA HELL?
- "If you don't build your own business then you must not want to be a leader." Mkay
- "Quit your boss in 3-6 months by selling ____________to all of your friends & neighbors."
-"Retire to the beaches of the world part time with just 3-5 hours a week of extra work." SURE.
And then when these people don't get the standard sheep sound from you or match their level of excitement and passion, they resort to name calling, yelling and character assignations...AND do it in a public forum. Do you really thing that is the way to recruit more Kool-aid drinkers? Stop the madness, crack kills, find rehab. FAST.

Your "company" teaches people how to become entrepreneurs and does professional coaching. Really? Instead of practicing your profession and "coaching" me if you thought I was wrong about something, you cursed my name and said some pretty nasty things. I bet your company is doing fabulous. Have you quit your boss yet?

Bwaaahaaahaaahaa!

Why da hell did we waste almost 2 hours discussing a disease process that we don't have an indication for? Seriously. With all these new people here too? Way to cloud the issue, confuse people and guide them down the path of marketing/medical conflict hell. Good Job.

It must be hard to be a trainer with reps whose average tenure in the business at 15 years+...especially when he has to be right and have the last word. Way to shut down participation.

Whew! thank God that my manager took over for the rest of the day. I was about to go postal.

Hates when the meeting facilitator (trainer) set the ground rules at the beginning of the meeting (no cells, no computer use, etc etc) and then violates his own damn rules when another trainer is speaking. That typing on your laptop while we are trying to conduct business is irritating and rude. Ever heard of lead by example. Guess not.

*Looks up at clock - 5min to 2pm* Jesus be my driver to the airport. I need to get out of here.

The airport - the masses of humanity traveling to and fro. Just when I think I have seen it all, a woman with a toothpick trying to have seconds on that meal from between her teeth just sent me right to the edge of wanting to burn my retina's to remove that image from them. Sigh.

I'm so glad to be back home.

Unpacking to repack.

Off to the Alma Mater for the weekend.

Happy Valentine's Day - We Choose Love

Working Through The Moguls

Can you? Can you work through those huge bumps - those moguls - on the journey of life with your spouse? Would you even try? Or would you just say "I don't feel like it - it's too hard - my feelings are hurt - I'm gonna pout until he figures it out, blah, blah, blah."? What would you do when your man has big visions and is taking you and the family to the edge of madness - but you can see the light at the end of the tunnel?

Do you run? Do you say "fugg this ish", belittle him, downplay the dream/the vision and kick him in his teeth? I guess you can't really answer that question till you are in it. However, I tell you one thing, when you are IN IT -your character as a woman, how serious you took your vows, for better or worst are gonna hit you dead square in your mug piece - and then truth will tell.

I can say that I stuck and am fighting the good fight. Did it take some Xanax & some Makers Mark? Yep. Did it cost me some poundage? Yep. It cost me a lot of things; I gave up - sacrificed a lot - on this quest. I won't even go into it all right here cause I couldn't finish this. I also don't
believe in spreading misery, depression or a bad day. I've said it before. There is no point, misery likes company and I don't want to keep that kind of company around. I'd rather comb my hair, dab on some makeup, practice the smile and go out in the world sharing in the triumphs of my friends & family - cause our time is coming.

That last thread that was holding my sanity together and keeping me out of the loony bin was snapped last night. I thought it had been broken. I thought I was done. I even screamed at The FireMarshall that "I QUIT." I was done. In hysteria, tilting towards madness I sucked down some clonazapam and a glass of wine and I was gone.

I guess I wasn't made to break.

We didn't speak much this morning. The FireMarshall knew that one wrong word and he'd be calling the paddy wagon. He left and came back and gave me a card with a letter attached...and left.

The first time I saw you, I somehow knew you'd be important in my life.

In my eyes, you were beautiful in so many ways, there was no doubt that I wanted to spend forever with you.

And when we got married, things were every bit as good as I'd hoped. I didn't want anything to change. But...life is full of changes, and not every day can be paradise.

Together we've faced reality, the day-to-day "bumps in the road" that test every couple's patience. I've seen you in many challenging situations, and the miracle is...you're even more beautiful than I thought possible!

You're sweet, thoughtful, strong, supportive, and a partner anyone would want on his side. Not only are you the woman of my dreams, but you're also my best friend, and as time passes, I fall more deeply in love with you. - Linda Lee Elrod

I will paraphrase the letter:

Lisa - My Love,

How do I begin other than to say I love you more than you will ever know.

The recent pain and disappointment you have experienced does profoundly impact
me. I know that you feel as if I am insensitive and am not fully acknowledging the deep wounds and gashes you feel in your spirit and soul. However, the reality is that I feel and take on every tear, anxious moment, and fear you express....

I know and will forever be in awe at how you have stood up and carried the weight of the world on your shoulders (home, kids, job, finances, friendships, and support of me)....I value what we have invested our lives in (each other)....

Please know, each day I wake to work to provide you the best. Not just good, but the best.

I love you and want you to be happy and at peace.

I wasn't meant to break and I have a husband that won't let it happen.

Do you have this kind of relationship; do you have a marriage that can stand the moguls? Would you rather just be in a long term relationship & live together so that if (and it will) gets real bad you can just pull stakes?

I pray that you find the one you can enter into a covenant with and make it work for you. Love is an action verb. It takes work, dedication, commitment. Passion & lust are nice and you can have that too, but if you base your whole relationship on those hot & heavy moments alone - you gonna end up alone (or bail when the going gets tough). Trust.

Happy Valentines Day.



We Choose Love.

Snowpocalypse Part Duex - The Day After

Just some pics from around the neighborhood the day after the SECOND Blizzard.

Snowpocalypse Part Deux