Wash Your !#**$%X!!! Hands!

There is just NOTHING nastier (that I can think of at this very moment) then watching people in a public bathroom using the toilet and then walking right past the sink and out the door as if they pee and crap don't have no germs. EEEEWWWWW!


I'm in Penn Station, Newark about to catch the Acela back home after a week of training and I gotta go. Now this bathroom has to be one of the nastiest bathrooms I have ever seen so this is a definite hover maneuver. My backside, hands, thighs - NOTHING is gonna touch that toilet. Good thing I work out. Whew. So, I take care of that bottle of water I had been drinking and go to wash my hands. This woman - who looked nasty to begin with - comes out of the stall and walks right out the door. I thought I was going to HURL. If you only knew what was actually on your hands even AFTER you wash your hands you would NEVER go without washing and in fact would carry some Purel with you at all times.

The picture below is a screen saver from Cedar-Sinai ....."......Then, after they finished their lunch, Murthy handed each of them an agar plate — a sterile petri dish loaded with a spongy layer of agar. “I would love to culture your hand,” she told them.
They pressed their palms into the plates, and Murthy sent them to the lab to be cultured and photographed. The resulting images, Silka says, “were disgusting and striking, with gobs of colonies of bacteria.”
The administration then decided to harness the power of such a disgusting image. One photograph was made into a screen saver that haunted every computer in Cedars-Sinai.


.....In its 2000 report “To Err Is Human,” the Institute of Medicine estimated that anywhere from 44,000 to 98,000 Americans die each year because of hospital errors — more deaths than from either motor-vehicle crashes or breast cancer — and that one of the leading errors was the spread of bacterial infections." "Selling Soap, NY Times, Sept. 24, 2006"

It is well documented that germs cause illnesses.... STOP BEING NASTY AND WASH YOUR HANDS. You would just hate it if you got an MSRA infection cause you doctor didn't wash his hands or your gym Buddie slapped you on the back with their unwashed sweaty hand after using the toilet. EEEEWWWWWWW! Nasty can kill ya.

The Pope has lost his mind...

I usually don't discuss this kind of stuff here but the latest "decree" from the Pope smacks of crackerish tendencies...like he needs to come off the pipe with this latest assertion that the Catholic church is the "only true church" and only "true religion." Sounds pretty close the what the the Antichrist would say prior to the beginning of Armageddon - you know - one world religion and what not.

Instead of drolling on and on, quoting scriptures and what not on how if he just actually READ the New Testament he might get a CLUE, I give you this commentary from CNN that I totally agree with....
Commentary: Pope's comments irrelevant to non-Catholics
By Roland S. Martin, CNN Contributor

(CNN) -- Non-Catholics who are up in arms of the proclamation by Pope Benedict XVI that the only true church in the world is that of Catholicism shouldn't even bother getting upset. Just chalk it up to an old man trying to get a little attention.

For him to even suggest that only the Catholic Church can provide true salvation to believers in Christ shows that he is wholly ignorant of the Scriptures that I have known all my life.
Sorry, let me take that back. I've really only known the Bible for the last 13 of my 38 years. That's because those first 25 years were spent as a die-hard Catholic. That's right, I was born and raised in the Catholic Church. One of the first meetings to build the church I was raised in -- Our Lady Star of the Sea in Houston -- took place in my grandparents' living room. Many of my Saturdays and Sundays were spent serving as an altar boy, Catholic Youth Organization leader, dedicated student of Catechism, and constantly reciting the Holy Rosary. And the reality is that we were never really encouraged to study the Scriptures. The standard practice was for all of us to read the same pamphlets passed out by the church, recite the readings from the New and Old Testaments, listen to the Scripture chosen for us in the Gospel and hear a normally bland homily.

That isn't always the case at some Catholic churches. If you visit St. Sabina in Chicago, Father Michael Pfleger will surely have your soul jumping with his strong sermons and willingness to engage the community to get involved in direct action. Yet as I reflect on my years as a Catholic, it pretty much was a wasted experience, as there was more identification with the church, and not with Christ.

And that's why Pope Benedict XVI is meaningless, along with his decision to re-state the primacy of the Catholic Church. This week, the pope released a document correcting interpretations of the Second Vatican Council, which some say modernized the church. But for hardliners like Pope Benedict XVI, the liberals went too far in some of their declarations.

But what ticked folks off was his assertion in the 16-page document by the Vatican's Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith that the only denominations that can call themselves true churches are ones that can trace their roots back to Jesus Christ's original apostles. He even suggested they suffer from defects. This is nothing but a naked attempt by Pope Benedict XVI to "own" Jesus by virtue of the Catholic Church considering the apostle Peter as its leader. He refuses to acknowledge the reality that Jesus didn't consider a church to be most important.

What was? The Great Commission.

The Bible records in Matthew 28:16 that Jesus called his 11 disciples (the other, Judas, hanged himself after betraying Jesus) to Mount Galilee and decreed, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (New International Version).

It doesn't matter what Pope Benedict XVI has to say, or for that matter, any other religious leader. A Christian believes in Jesus Christ and what He had to say, not what a man of God has to say. This is not an attempt to completely dismiss religious leaders, but is further evidence of what happens when ego is more important than the work of Christ.

John 14:6 says, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Nowhere does it say that Peter, Pope Benedict XVI or anyone else can supplant Jesus as the leader of the church.

It is these kinds of missives by Pope Benedict XVI that do nothing to support or build the community of faith. All it does is divide.

Protestant leaders: Don't buy into the foolishness. Let Pope Benedict XVI keep running off at the mouth and making pointless declarations. If you keep bringing good news to the poor, setting the captives free and assisting those who seek to know Jesus, then you'll make more headway in doing the work of Jesus than any 16-page document will.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the writer. This is part of an occasional series of commentaries on CNN.com that offers a broad range of perspectives, thoughts and points of view

Monk-e-Mail

You just have to do it. It is fun and funny. Don't ask questions. Just Play.

http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/default.aspx?sc_cmp2=JS_MONK-E-MAIL

Congratulations!

Hallelujah! One of my bestest friends in the world and the maid of honor at my own wedding got engaged to her man over the 4th of July Weekend during a holiday excursion in Puerto Rico - at the Ritz Carlton no less.

The 4th of July weekend is very significant in that Val & Manny had their first date 4 years ago at a party at my house on the 4th of July. We have not only celebrated the 4th but their "dating" anniversary every year since then (except this one-we were on the cruise). We would always have a BBQ followed by homemade fireworks display - I would run around the yard lighting all the various fireworks I bought like a crazy woman. I love my girlfriend.

I am SOOOOOOO happy for Val & Manny! My maid of honor is gonna be a bride. WOO HOO!
Let the CELEBRATIONS begin.

Congratulations Val & Manny. Ron and I love you both.

First Class

I am now totally ruined when it comes to air travel. FOREVER! I used airline miles to upgrade our seats to First Class for our 10 hour journey home from Venice.

First Class is THE ONLY WAY to travel. Without a doubt. As one of my husbands business partners keeps saying "Economy Class is just no way to live." I absolutely believe him. Now, you would think that as a Travel Diva I would have traveled in first class before - Nope, wrong. I've been slepping to all my destinations so I could maximize my spending when I get to where I'm going. I had no idea what I was missing. It was awesome. Ron kept telling me to stop giggling and fidgeting with everything - act like I knew what the deal was. WHATEVER. If I had my camera handy, I would have been snappin' pictures, I was havin' so much fun. Here is why First Class is the only way to travel - especially for transatlantic flights:

1. You get to board FIRST!
2. They serve you champagne while you get settled and wait for everyone else to take their seats.
3. You get a REAL pillow and blanket that has been sealed in plastic prior to use.(not that mini pillow and pseudo flannel blanket that you are not sure how many people have breathed on it - never use em anyway)
4. You get a bag of goodies (pair of socks, eye mask, ear plugs, toothpaste & toothbrush).
5. You order "Lunch" off a regular menu.
6. You get a pair of Bose-like (noise cancelling) headphones that you don't have to pay for. You gotta give em back though.
7. You get your own personal television.
8. The seat FULLY reclines and has a foot rest. And the seat is big enough that you can actually curl up in your seat and get some GOOD sleep. It was like Manna from Heaven.
9. The attendant pulled out my tray and placed a mini linen tablecloth on it in preparation for my "lunch"
10. The meal was served on CHINA with REAL silverware and glass stemware...and we were so close to the cockpit with all that REAL stuff.
11. You don't have to pay for your drinks. And you can keep asking for refills. I must have kilt that bottle of wine. As a matter of fact, the alcohol was not served out of mini's, but FULL sized bottles - just like at a bar. UNBELIEVABLE.
12. You get a bathroom that is only used by those in first class (approx 16-20 people vs. 200).
13. They offer you a newspaper in the language of your choice. You don't have to buy one before you get on the plane.
14. Snack time (yes, they have snack time) was ice cream...NOT served in little Styrofoam cups, but like mini Hagan Daas containers. Ron had 2. And if you want more snacks, they leave a bowl of fruit and basket of chips and stuff in the front kitchen. You can just help yourself. STOP THE MADNESS!
15. You can have the WHOLE DAMN CAN of soda. Not just a cup.
16. They offer you hot towels to freshen up before dinner and prior to landing.

I was just beside myself with joy. I felt like my cat when he looks real comfortable and curls up with a sigh. That was me! I ate my meal off of china, drank my wine out of glassware, reclined my seat all the way, put up the foot rest curled up under my binkie and watched a movie (several) on my personal TV. It was the most enjoyable, comfortable flight I've ever had.

I'll still be doing economy for domestic travel...ain't got it like that yet, but I had to tell Ron that it will just be UNACCEPTABLE to travel overseas anymore unless it is, at least, business class or higher. UNACCEPTABLE. Imagine my shock when he said "Deal." He must have really loved it too. I love my man - guess that is why I renewed my covenant for another 20.

Well, its back to reality - real life faces me...along with billions of emails and bills. Sooooo, off with the Travel Diva and back to being a Salesdiva...girl has to earn a livin'

Ah! Venice

I definitly believe that Venice has to have been THE best stop on this cruise next to Istanbul. The arrival was just incredible. If you are to come to Venice, you HAVE to see it as you arrive from the Bridge Deck (or anywhere at the front of the ship). It was THE most spectacular view and a navigational feat to watch as the Emerald Princess - this huge beast of a ship - navigated the main canal (I've forgotton the name) sailing right past St Marks Piazza. Just incredible.

Ron and I did a two excursions today. Once was a tour of Doge Palace & Murano Glass Demonstration (which I couldn't take pictures of the Master at work-BUMMER). The Palace was cool but we found the Murano Glass demonstration much more interesting. We watched as this man made a vase and a glass horse in the matter of less than 10 minutes. It was facinating. We (or rather Ron - cause, and I know this is hard to believe - I was bout spent out) found a glass piece that would go great in the house and ONLY cause Ron insisted, did we purchase it. Yeah Yeah. After our tours were finished, we had an evening gondola ride with serenade. It was so nice. It was one of the best days of the whole trip.

Today, we disembarked from the ship. The party is over. We are staying one more day in Venice and have dinner tonight at a restaurant that came highly recommended. After getting off the ship, we found our hotel, checked in and then went out for a little nic-nac shopping for last minute gifts for family & friends. Ron wanted to eat first (AGAIN) and just as we were about to go back out into San Marco's Square, I got the ultimate in good luck sign - I got dumped on by one of the millions of pigeons right on the top of my head. HOLY CRAP! Ron was amazed that I didn't have a total melt down and since we were not that far from the hotel, we went back so I could get the BIRD SHYT out of my hair. Only a Steptoe!

After clean up (it wasn't as bad as I thought), we ventured back out and found a cafe looking over the Grand Canal. Ron had a pizza while I enjoyed just the BEST gellatto I have ever had on the face of the earth. Yummy. Yummy (as our ship waiter would always say). We sat for a while and watched the tourists go by. People watching is absolutely fascinating. Finally, we went on another shopping trek and picked up some trinkets (Murano glass necklace for Cara's teacher and some other glass items), even picked up some Venitial Masks to add to the collection.

Ron is now taking a nap before dinner. I am writing to you as I watch the rain come down. First bit of rain I've seen in over 12 days. Tonight is our last night of our adventure. Tomorrow we board a flight home.

P.S. I was able to upgrade our seats on USAIR to business glass using our miles. Going home in comfort baby - AS IT SHOULD BE!!!

Views from the Emerald Princess

Keep Your Own Bag of Woes

Just when we thought we had some drama during the cruise, we overheard a converstation a girl was having at breakfast about her ordeal during the cruise....HER LUGGAGE (and the luggage of about 50+ other passengers on a flight from Frankfurt) NEVER ARRIVED - at least not all of it. She has had to spend most of the trip finding underwear, clothing, personal items while in the various ports.

I think I would have just died. CRUISE OVER.

How in the world would I have done my hair? By day 2, I would have looked like Ooom Foo Foo, the bush BEEYACH....something straight out of the Lion King. If you think I had trouble with the sizes of clothes in Naples, HOW ABOUT A DAMN BRA! Small just was not going to harness these girls in at all. Oh, and my shoes! Two days in confinement was NOTHING compared to the anquish I would have experienced and Ron would have had to endure if I didn't have my things for 12 days.

So, I peeked into somebody elses bag of woes, didn't like what I saw and grabbed my bag back. Moral of the story...hold onto your own bags of drama, intrigue and woes cause there is DEFINITLY somebody else who had a bigger bag of crapola than you. Gives you a whole different perspective on the matter. Would also be helpful if I thought about that while in the midst of my own drama, but then where would be the fun.

Romantic Tip of the Day from the Emerald Princess

Each day we get a newsletter in our stateroom mailbox called the “Princess Patter”. It is your daily guide to cruise activities aboard the ship – also known as your formal extortion guide. They do list the entertainment for the day but they also list all of the “deals” that are happening in the “Boutiques Onboard”, the “Lotus Spa” (where I did purchase a small country), the “Gatsby Casino”, the “Photo Gallery”, the “Art Gallery” and last but certainly NOT least…the Drink of the Day! If you are planning a cruise, it is not the price of the cabin/stateroom that you get that will kill you, it’s the alcohol, internet, cappuccino, spa, photo portraits, & shore excursion bill that will nearly bankrupt you. Buyers Beware.

One of the interesting things that I found in the Patter was the Romantic Tips of the Day.

· Always have a bottle of champagne on hand so you can celebrate anything (or nothing) at the drop of a hat (Ron and I have decided that we MUST adopt this one – my non-alcohol drinking husband has acquired a taste for champagne – I wonder how?)
· A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. (Look it up)
· Love is a process. Adjust your daily schedule in some small way to advance the process of love in your life. (ABSOLUTELY. Didn’t make it this long without this tip)
· Identify one pivotal event that brought the two of you together and celebrate that event every year. (Well, I’m not sure how we celebrate going to a Military Academy each year, but we do celebrate the Army-Navy Game each year – does that count?)Romantics do not put their partners first by ignoring their own needs and wants. Rather they put their relationship first. (Nuff said)

Athens, Greece

We arrived in Athens today and went on a tour of the Acropolis where we walked up approximately 80 steps leading to the Parthenon. It was a beautiful site overlooking all of the city of Athens.

After our tour we went down to The Plaka which is a 19th century shopping district at the foot of the Acropolis. Of course, it's streets are lined with shops, boutiques, jewelry stores, tavernas and cafes. Ron found an art store and decided to get some art to decorate the new "wing" with. Our general contractor (Tyree), who practically lives at our house cause he is still working on things here and there (can anyone remember the name of the guy who lived with Murphy Brown and was forever painting her house), put travatine and marble with glass accents on our new hallway that connects the old part of the house to the new. Well, Ron found a few pieces that he fell in love with to accent one of the walls in the hall even found a couple of pieces for Tyree that we are sure he can incorporate into something. (two white marble tiles with silver medallions depicting Greek athletes) I KNOW he will make something - probably incorporate them into some tile work.

We stopped to have something to eat at one of the local cafes, I found another charm (the Parthenon) for my charm bracelet and then Ron fended off the gypsies selling tablecloths. I thought for one second that Ron was going to take some old woman out cause he was tired of telling her no and even blurted out - "WHAT PART OF NO DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND." Obviously, she only understood "yes" and "how many Euros?" cause she didn't pay Ron and mind.

Found out AGAIN that the world is just too small. As I was waiting for our tour guide to come gather us to get back on the ship, I was talking to a nice couple we met from North Carolina. He asked where in Clarksville did we live (cause they once lived in Columbia, MD - go figure). I told him the main cross-highways and after he indicated that he know exactly where that was, I told him our main street. He then told me that he had a best friend that used to live on our street on an out parcel of a farm that now had 4 houses on it with 3-4 acres each. GET OUT! He described the house and you won't believe this, but Ron and I bought that very house. NO WAY! Named the family and everything. Yep, that's them.

The world is just too small.

Kusadasi, Turkey: Path to Ephasus

Aren't I the smart one! I was one of two passengers to answer the question of the day (what bird can dive to a depth of up to 900 ft) - Well, if you have watched Happy Feet you would KNOW that it is an Emperor Penguin! I won Ron and I free drinks (that's a big deal when even a doggone soda costs a fortune) in the Adagio Bar where "we can enjoy an Italian aperitif, martini, or INDULGE in a delicious dessert after dinner - always with breathtaking views and live entertainment." I don't need an excuse to INDULGE, obviously (Dolly Parton ain't got nuttin on this sister), just bring me the certificate and I'm there. The detox, fast, diet and even my exercise plan will have to wait till I get back. Not only did I blow the whole program, I done BLEW UP. Yeah, yeah - sacrifices must be made in the name of fun and travel. That's what a TRAVEL DIVA does!

Ron and I made an appointment for a private portrait sitting two nights ago (cause it came with free snacks, wine & champagne). We spent an hour waiting our turn, drinking champagne and having a great time with a large group that was going before us. Ron, of course, made a business contact for some dealings he has going on in Vietnam. The man DOES know how to work a room. Anyway, we got the portraits back and SHAZAAM! We look MARVELOUS. I can't wait to scan them in when we get back for ya to see. All I can say is YEAH BABY! Or one of my favorite morning pick-me-ups/affirmations....(standing in front of your mirror)..."DAMN, I LOOK GOOOOOD! (snap you finger like you mean business). SHIT!

Okay, back to the story...
We arrived at Kusadasi, Turkey this afternoon. The entire town has been transformed into a center for tourists (complete with a Burger King and a Starbucks), with access to Ephesus and the entire Ionian coast. I was excited about this stop because I wanted to go to Ephesus - not to see all the Greek stuff - but because it was there that the apostle Paul tried to preach and proclaim Christianity in his workshop and the apostle John wrote part of the New Testament and also died there.

During our tour we walked through the remains of the Magnesia Gate which leads to a downhill marble-paved road right down into this Roman capital. It continues past the Odeium (small theater or concert hall), the Temple of Hadrian, the Celsus Library, and the Great Theater. The Great Theater had seating for 25,000, and it is the site where St. Paul preached to the Ephesians.

After the tour, we were taken back to port for some "free time" to shop. Ron wanted to get out of there and back on the ship lickity split. He said that the sole purpose of the shop keepers was to "pry the last dollar/Euro from your cold, dying hands." He fussed all the way back to the ship, mumbling something about having to haggle for me and wondering what damage I would do if I had money to burn. WHATEVER. He thought he was home free, but as we were passing through the customs building to get to the ship, there was a whole display of snow globes. I HAD to have one to add to my collection. Ron throws his hands up in the air, tells me to remember - "cold, dying hands" - and waits for me to complete my purchase. Since this was in the duty free section, I didn't have to bargain. Thank Goodness!

Tonight we sail for Athens, Greece...but first Ron and I went to a show in the Princess Theater...can you say bob & travel? It was kinda cute and all, but not anywhere near a Broadway-like performance (as they claim). I've found the little side shows in the Explorers Lounge or even Karaoke in Club Fusion to be much more entertaining. We are gonna try the comedy show tomorrow evening after Athens.
Till Then....

Istanbul, Turkey - Where the Europe Meets Asia

What an awesome day!

Today we arrived in Istanbul, Turkey. It has been said that if you lay a map of the world out as if the world was flat then Istanbul would be the center of the world (Don't know for sure, cause I ain't got a world map with me). The ship sailed out from the island of Mykonos through a narrow straight in the Aegean Sea out into the Marmaris Sea toward the port of Istanbul. I awoke this morning to the ship pulling into The Golden Horn which is the only entry by water to the Black Sea (and port access to Bulgaria, the Ukraine and Russia). I stood out on the balcony looking at the Galata Bridge which separates Europe from Asia. In fact, the city of Istanbul straddles two continents and is the narrowest crossing point between Europe and Asia. Just some little know world history facts that I found interesting.

Ron and I went on a short tour of the Sultanahmet (Blue) Mosque (its called Blue because the interior is decorated with some 20,000 delicate Iznik tiles with a shimmering blue cast), the Hagia Sophia (aka St. Sophia, the Church of Holy Wisdom - later converted to a mosque during the Ottoman Empire), and the Grand Bazaar (the largest covered market in the world boasting over 4,000 shops and has its town school, mosque, post office, banks and police station.

Before we went into the Grand Bazaar, we went to a large shop called Bazaar 54 where we learned about Turkish carpets...how to tell a hand woven rug from a machine woven, different knots tied, how the dyes are made, how long it takes to make a hand tied carpet, and more. We were then offered some apple tea...SHOPPERS BEWARE...when you are out shopping in the market, the vendors will invite you into their shop and offer you some apple tea. THIS IS NOT JUST WONDERFUL TURKISH HOSPITALITY. If you accept, you are indirectly implying that you are planning to make a purchase is the store. OH NO! I drank the apple tea. Ron and I were in the store for 2 more hours while everybody else from our tour had left to go into the Bazaar. We spent that time looking at rug after rug for the family room (Shopping Goal #1 was a handmade Turkish Rug, Shopping Goal #2 - a piece of Murano Glass from Venice). Then it was haggle time. Man is that a process. It is definitely give and take. Ron was about to walk out when the manager made a final offer that included shipping to the states if we would use another card except Amex. He was trying to get us to take it with us on the plane and even was going to provide the luggage (pulled the bag out). HELL NO! I'm not even going to mention how much, just that Ron got him down $1100 dollars from the opening price with shipping home. I even had to sign the bottom of my new rug to prove that I got the same one that I picked when it arrives in the states. After filling out all the paperwork, they give you more to drink, show you the restroom if you need it, and whisk you away to another floor of nothing but jewelry. DAMN. I looked at charms since I wanted to add another to my charm bracelet and got a really neat one in 18k gold with a glass stone that looks like an eye in the middle (it is supposed to be the evil eye and provide you luck). Here's how the haggling went...salesman says it is $100. "No way!" I say as Ron shakes his head no. "$60 sound more reasonable." "I can't go lower than $85." says the salesman. "$70 is the best I can do." I counter. He say, "Sold, to the lovely lady."....as he pulls out some Sultan Rings for me to look at. Ron is like LET'S GET OUT OF HEAR before they clean us out. We escape the jewelry floor when they try to usher us to the leather floor. HELL NO! RUN FOREST RUN. And Ron and I make a beeline for the door. We then walk down to the Grand Bazaar and you have NEVER seen a mall/bazaar anywhere like this. You can LITERALLY get lost inside (and we almost did). The vendors work the heck out of you.
-DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT.
-DO NOT WALK INTO THE STORE UNLESS YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO WALK OUT.
-WEAR SUNGLASSES SO THEY CAN'T SEE YOUR EYES OR WHERE YOUR ARE LOOKING OR THEY WON'T LEAVE YOU ALONE.
-YOU MUST BARGAIN OR YOU ARE NOT PLAYING ALONG AND YOU WILL GET ROBBED.

It was the most fun and most exhausting time I have ever had shopping. We found gifts for Ron's Mom and my mother and as soon as that was accomplished, Ron wanted out of the Bazaar. We left just in time to see everyone closing down form afternoon prayers. I got the call to prayer on video and if I can figure out how to work my new camcorder I'll add it later. If you read this and there are no pictures, come back...I'll edit the post with the pics shortly. It costs less in Internet charges if I type an email to my blog and add pics later.
Back on the ship, we relaxed (me by the pool and Ron in the cabin), went to dinner and then watched Happy Feet at Movies Under the Stars. We are now sailing to Kusadasi, Turkey in Asia Minor where we plan a tour to Ephesus where St. Paul (my favorite Apostle) preached against the shrine build to Artemis ( the mulit-breasted goddess, symbolizing fertility). St. Paul later wrote his Letter to the Ephesians. Talk to ya.

Mykonos-A Greek Isle

This morning we arrived at the Greek Isle of Mykonos and decided to spend a few hours at the beach. Wasn't too much else to do and it was HOT. No point in being HOT by the pool when you can be hot at the beach and chill out with some beautiful scenery. The houses are all white with mostly blue doors. There are supposed to be these windmills on the hills but we didn't get to see any.

We just hung out and Ron chased the shade while I chased the sun. Ron thought the water was too cold for his liking...but it's HOT as hell baby. I finally got him in the water and he whined the whole time...something about shrinkage. He was fine once I got him fully immersed in the water and then I made him carry me around on his back...my own personal floatation device (although the girls work fine usually all by themselves).

Two things we mused about...

1. Americans have NO CONCEPT of what a real "holiday" is. Most European countries give their employees 6 weeks of vacation. Australians get 6 weeks and then every 8 years with their company the get an additional 3 months off. No wonder we (Americans) don't venture far from home. It takes too long to get anywhere outside the States and we don't have the vacation time to enjoy it. Most of the people we have spoken to on the ship are on 6 - 12 week "holiday's" and this is just 2 weeks of their journey. AMAZING. Ron and I laid there and dreamed about a time when we will be able to travel the world anytime we please without have to worry about how much vacation we have accrued. At least on my part right now.

2. What the heck is wrong with my people. There are about 10-12 black folk out of 3000 passengers and Ron and I can't get one of them to give us the time of damn day. I know I had the cooties earlier, but what gives now? This morning, I said hello to a woman I've seen around the ship and she looked at me like..."How dare you even look in my general direction?" Wow. Maybe she got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Then at the beach, there was a family of my peeps and Ron and I swam over to them and started to strike up a conversation with he guy who was playing with a fishing net. He looked up at Ron, grunted, and went back to fishing. Ron gave him the terminator look over his Oaklys and nudged me back over to the our side of the beach. Wow. I had to give a quick sniff to make sure we weren't offending. Not sure what the issue is, but it is a DAMN SHAME.

Ron is on a mission to sample all local cuisine and insisted that we get off the beach to have a gyro. I had a local beer and watched my man eat as I gazed lovingly at his muscles. He them amuses himself by giving a gun show. When Ron is relaxed, he is absolutely hilarious. We are back on the ship, sailing for Istanbul. Ron and I both have a Hot Stone Massage. Gotta Run. Big shopping day tomorrow in the Grand Bazaar.

Renewal of Vows

Wednesday, we were at sea, so it was a very relaxing day. I went to a Pilate's class that turned out to be a lot harder working those core muscles (they are under there somewhere) than I thought it would be. Laid out by the pool and watched a Movie at Sea (Click)...it was amazing how good you could see and hear the movie while getting your black on, and then went to the spa for a seaweed wrap before the main event......

The Renewal of Vows Ceremony

Ron and I got all gussied up and went to the chapel and had a beautiful (yet quick) ceremony recommitting ourselves to each other. Ron called it renewing his contract for another 20 and the terms were tougher this time. He said I wasn't so naive this time and know where all the money is. He is just hilarious....but oh so right. The rest of the evening we felt like movie stars as we walked around the ship. Everybody wanted to talk, take pictures etc. It was a lot of fun and with the girlfriends hanging out the front of the dress (picked by my daughter Erin). I was oogled, whistled at...and several men told Ron that he got a beauty. My Diva Ego (Unique-qua) is good for at least a month. It was a great and romantic evening.

Naples & Pompeii

Arrived in Naples today. Our tour to Pompeii was not until the afternoon so Ron went to the gym and I decided to go "exploring" downtown Naples BY MYSELF for a little while. "LUCY, YOU GOT SOME SPLAININ TO DO." Yeah, Yeah. Well, I'm a tad crazy and oblivious to my surrounding on occasion, but I embarked on my expedition.


There were a few heart pounding moments as I tried to cross a street that had cars moving on it like on I95. Just step out there, just be bold. RIGHT. I waited for a native to make the move and ran with them. I make across the main highway and just start walking. I stop at a corner and look around to see if I can see some "shopping" interests. This man walks up to me...OH HELL...and asks me if I speak English - yep -"You looka like you wanna shop" Si. Bueno. You mussa go uppa that way to the dome, eh, Galleria. You finda shoppa there." Grazi, I may and hustle uppa that way to shoppa.


Beautiful atrium style mall, with gorgeous Italian designers and what not. HOWEVER, this mall was not for the thicker girls. I'm looking through these beautiful silk blouses...size 4, 6, 6, 8, 4, 0. On another rack...sm, sm, sm, sm, xsm, sm sm xxsm. Excusi, I say. Do you have a 12 or a Large. It was if I had slapped the woman in the face. No - was her clipped answer. Store after store - the same. I marched my fat ass right outta there. Shoppa uppa that way was no longer fun. I started my trek back to the ship to meet Ron for our tour and stumbled on a shop that sold all variations of Limoncello. HEAVEN on earth. The lady gave me two samples (cream and regular) that she took out of the freezer and it was great. Bought some. Mom get ready to drink & bake.


I make it back to the ship and Ron is like..."You okay?" I asked, "Baby, were you worried?" Ron replies, "Not really, I figured if you didn't come back in time for the tour, you were either chasing your mugger or hit by a bus...and our insurance is current." Thanks Dear.


We went off to Pompeii and it was very Discovery Channel and whatnot. Ron seemed to like it. We did stop at a store that did handmade sandals while you wait. I couldn't resist getting a pair made for my fledgling Diva Cara. She loves shoes at 3 years old and I got her a pair of silver and rhinestone studded sandals, made right before my eyes. She's gonna love em.

Well, off to bed. At sea day tomorrow. Pilates at 8am, Sanctuary from 9-until 2pm. Spa at 2pm. Renewal of Vows at 4:30pm and Formal Night at Sea w/Captains Champagne Party starting at 6pm. WHEW! Big day tomorrow. Girls gotta rest.

Views from Rome

Escape to Rome

Ron and I are up at 5am ready to bust out of confinement. By 6am we were in the buffet line for breakfast. We spend some time exploring the ship trying to get our bearings since we barely know where anything is, and the go to the meeting point for our "Rome on Your Own" tour. My know it all self figured that since I've been here before, I can show Ron around. What the hell was I thinking.

We go yo the gangway and stick our card iin the machine to check off the ship. Can you believe that a small alarm went off with a message about Ron and I. This burly security guard reads the message and passes us through. I guess it said we were clared of medical isolation otherwise there was going to be some major drama....even though you DO NOT want to mess with the security team on a cruise ship. On each and every cruise we have been on, the security teams all appear to be from India from some kind of warrior caste. Our TSA need to take some serious lessons from these people. Even the women look intimidating. I didn't wan to get billy clubbed by one of them.

Anyway, I didn't realize that it was gonna take 1 1/2 hours to get to the Vatican. We get to the drop off point and we have 5 hours to see the entire city of Rome. It took my mother and I 4 days. We hustle from St Peters square (Ron's comment - that's nice), to the Novana (it was under repair), to the Pathenon (Ron wants to know why there' a hole in the ceiling and what the big deal), to Trevi Fountain (Ron would not do the coin thing), finally to the Spanish Steps. We had our portrait done at the top of the steps and then we walked a few blocks over to the Westin Excelsior (we knew we could get a taxi there). Whiile standing in the lobby of this beautiful hotel we notice that Pfizer (my former employer) is having their VPMC award trip - a bit of irony.

Ron announces he don't want to see no more monuments, he wants Italian pizza. We hop a taxi back near the meeting point and have a wonderful pizza and beer. My ass is gettin broader by the very second. Alas.

I did find a small shop in a side street and bought Erin a beautiful handmade leather purse...she is gonna flip. I also picked up some items to give to my friends. Not tellin...I've got 9 more days of shoppin for my peeps AND of couse mi and mi casa. I got Jordan some new bling.

Back on the ship, we go to dinner and then club hopped to map out a party plan. After some fun in Naples, we are lined up for Ballroom Blitz (gotta work those dance lessons), followed by Motown Hour, and then finish the evening with the 80's Dance Party. Freedom has its moments.

No pictures cause the wireless is down on the ship. Until it gets back up, I have to type these notes out on Ron's crackberry.

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Day 2 of Captivity

OMG- you have no idea how crazy I am sitting in the cabin right now - day 2 of incarceration. Even if it is a suite w/balcony (pics later-I can't send them from rons blackberry), it is still torture with the imminent threat of being disembarked permantly lurks over your head. They call and check on you (making sure you are STILL not having symptoms), everytime I open the door, Roberto, is standing there with this shyt eating grin on his face...waitingg for me to violate the quarentine. Every now and then I open the door just so I can slam it in his face. Like it makes any difference to him as long as I don't cross the hermetically sealed threshold-sicko. I have watched every movie on the ship TV twice over, slept, ate like a pig, and being generally miserable. Tonigt I'm planning on ordering a bottle of wine just to drink myself into oblivion hopiing the time til 6am (when our captivity ends) will come quickly.

Ron finally awoke from his drug induced stupor to have an intelligent conversation. The part where he starts pshyco analyzing the situation loooking for the rainbow (and he would find great qualities in Attilla the Hun) makes me a tad insane, but then he can be downright hilarious. I'm not mad at him anymore but I told him he had 2 days of absolutely nothing - just the way he likes it- which means if I so much as hear a snivel out of him for the next 10 days, then it is gonna be a swift "crackow" to the back of his head. "You're my vacation slave now." If I say climb to the top of the Colloseum, then I best not even see his eyes look askance. Not a peep mister.

Ron wanted to add a few of his comments to the blog about our captivity...
1. After 30 hours of captivity, we decided to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and go out into the yard (the balcony) and amuse ourselves with a few hours of watching the deck hands practice "man overboard" drills with the tender. Only problem is, they keep running over the life ring, so they save the dummy but he is either has a concussion or a broke neck. Our situation could be worse, Lisa, we could be the dummy. (See what I mean about psycho babble)
2. No matter what size your suite is (100 sq ft or 330 sq ft like ours) there is still a 3 ft door you can't get through on pain of death or thrown off the ship at the next port.
3. Threats from the senoir doctor do have a nullifying effect on your attitude problem, and yet, threats of legal action from my lawyer will get them to clean your room in a timely manner by the hazmat team. See, Lisa, a carefully placed threat does produce results more than a hizzy fit. (I'm bout to put my foot in your ass). Ron's mantra..."Don't make me get on my blackberry and bring down the rath.."
4. I know why you can't get the ship doctor to come to your cabin...cause women like my wife would have hurt a mf. He'd have come down to our cabin and said some crazy shyt bout putting her off the ship, and she would have opened a no. 10 size can of whoopass on him. They probly learned it messin with someone before. Somebody has gotton huurtt before and that's why they only check on you over the phone. Not cause your contagious, but because the staff might get sucker punched by an irate black woman.

(As a side note, there are 3000 passesngers on this cruise ship and so far I have only counted 4 African American - or black people in general - on board including us. WHERE ARE MY PEOPLES? Ron says they are vacationing in the Caribbean and they don't give a rats ass bout no Europe.
THEY (THEM) ran from Europe to explore and conqure some shyt, picked up some brothers and sisters along the way, took us to the knew world that THEY claimed was theirs, and made us make it habitable for THEM for free. Welcome home. Ron added dor effect...Why in the hell do black folk want to go to Europe to see where THEY came from and THEIR ruins and shyt. Black folk don't give a damn bout THOSE peoples, THEY history and stuff so why should black folk spend a small fortune to subsidize THEY shyt. I'm just pllayin devils advocate babe. He's got a point. So the question remains...why the hell are we on this ship, I ask. Ron mischieviously looks at me over the top of his glasses and says "cause my half white woman wife wanted to go get some "culture" and see how her white half conqured the world. He just slays me sometimes.)

Anyway, we are sittin out in the yar killin time... Ron has visions of gradure of how we can kill 2 hours. I'm willing to at least try.

Tommorrow we bust outta her and are off to run the streets of Rome.

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I Would Like to Declare a Medical Emergency

...And wish to GOD I hadn't.
After a wonderful embarkation day, we go to dinner, do the lifeboat drill and go to a Welcome Aboard Show. Just as we are about to pull out of port, I start to feel sick to my stomach. Rut Row. I toss and turn all night long dealing with a bout of diarrhea when about 3am I upchuck my entire dinner. Whew. I feel so much better. Must have been something I ate. Unfortunately, must have been something we both ate cause Ron was sick too and lost his cookies around 6am. Ron insisted I call the ship doctor "cause it hurt"...no shyt Sherlock...he hasn't thrown up in about 20 years and he said he felt like he was having a heart attack. Okay, whatever.

I call the medical service. It takes them an hour to get here and Ron and I are abiut ready to eat some breakfast...we are feeling better see. NOPE. You are a nogo at this station. Mounds of paperwork and we are told that we are quarantined for 24 hours. DAMN. No problem. We can do a day. They will refund us for our tour in Mareille. About 10 hours later, another person calls to tell us "oh no...we are sorry but you will be in isolation for 48 hours. BULLSHYT! "We are sory, but if you don't' comply then we will disembark you at the next port. I snapped. You are telling me that I am confined to my stateroom for 48 hours. Yep.

What is relly pissing me off is that they treat you like a leper while in isolation. It took Ron threatening the Purser to get someone to clean our stateroom. It took another threatening phone call to get them to allow us to eat something other than broth. We can't get anybody to speak with us on the phone, let alone come to the room to check us out. They just confine you to your room and leave you there. Screw youm if you are caught outside your staterom, they will throw you off the ship. That guy how spread TB across the world was treated better than we are. It doesn't matter that people come in and out of the room without gloves or masks, touchin shytm if we are SOOO mfn contagious, then why aren't those people quarantined too? Everbody is so mfn worried that we are going to spread some damn disease, but they don't give a rats ass that Paco was just in my room delivering inedible food and taking away trays that we touched. What about the damn nurse that treated us wiithout a mask or gloves...is she quarantined? HELL NO. She's running around the whole damn ship giving out shots that allegedly keep you from throwing up, but is really some kind of knock out juice in a syringe to keep you from leaving your stateroom. After my shot, I was passes out til 4pm. BEEYATCH.

Right now I am going bat freakin crazy. I donajt know how I am supposed to sit inthis room another whole mfn day while everyone is gallivanting around Florence. I just want to scream. Ron doesn't seem to mind at all. This is his kind of frakin vacation. He just sits around sleeping and reading about the port he is SOOO freakin glad he doesn't have to walk around. Not a complaint out of himm I HATE HIM!!!

If I had known that we we going to have 2 days of the cruise flushed down the toilet literally and figuativelly, I would have never called the bastards. I am obviously not that mfn contagious since they got nurses and staff running in and out of here and they don't get thrown in isolation. SCREW EM! The very second this is over, I am out of this cabin and I'm gonna run amok on this ship...touching EVERYTHING.

I feel fine and am not harboring some disaster at sea. Perhaps if they treated us more like passengers and not lepers, I wouldn't be so angry. I hate the entire ship staff, I hate
Ron and his silent indifference, I hate this ship and the way they selectively apply their policy.

I'm gonna drink this champagne that came with breakfast and pass out. Maybe I'll be calmer tomorrow...but I seriously doubt it.

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Welcome to the Emerald Princess

We made it aboard! Rumor has it that 200 passengers (I think that number is a little high) didn't make it - I think it was several though - as Ron and I watched from our balcony as a taxi came about 100 miles an hour and dropped a couple right as the ship was pulling up the anchor. They barely made it.

We had a relaxing day of embarkation. Scheduled our spa appointments, signed up for spin and pilates classes, made arrangements for our renewal of vows ceremony and just layed around while the crew tried to upsell you on everything from unlimited soda to private access to the "Sanctuary" and "Thermal Therapy Spa" They got Ron on it all...he doesn't drink so unlimited soda was right up his alley, they had him on the tour of the "Sanctuary" when they told him that no kids under 18 could enter the private pool deck and that when he noticed that they had unlimited shade, and the heated stone therapy chairs had him as soon as his back hit one. SUCKER. Don't get me wrong now, I didn't turn down a thing.

Ron is already in the bed, now that he realized that this is an European Cruise and he would have to walk and stuff.

Time for some relaxation in the cabin. Talk to you from France tomorrow.