Confessions from a Medical Conference

* I hate when people come by the booth just to see if you have any good give-aways and when you try to talk about your product they get huffy and walk away. You gonna get pissed cause I don't have any freebies & complain about the cost of medicine and equipment. GTFOOH with your stoopit self.

* Stop telling me that I can't use certain words cause it is "off label"...Synergistic is just a damn descriptor...Go back to "managing" and I'll get back to "selling".

* Location, Location, Location is key when selecting a booth to ensure maximum traffic...so WTF did you think was gonna happen when you were a cheap skate and got the cheapest booth possible. Yeah, the back 40...all back of the friggin bus.

* Please read the fine print next time you register for a booth. YOU NEED TO ALSO ORDER TABLE AND CHAIRS. Could we just pretend for a moment that you know what the eff you are doing?

* It is hard as hell to get out of the heavenly bed to stand in the booth for 6 hours a day. REALLY HARD.

* The hotel bar is an amusing place at the end of the day...a lot more business gets done right there saddled up to the bar.

* I am not amused AT ALL that they think I should come back on a Saturday to dismantle the booth (BY MYSELF) cause they don't want to pay the $500 early dismantle fee AND you wanna get all uptight about me asking for you to "compensate" me for my time. I asked for dinner and you gave me the side-eye. Uh Huh. You want it dismantled OR WHAT!

* I'm getting more pissed as the day goes on.

* Contrary to popular belief...YOU DO NOT PAY ME ENOUGH...not even close...to do all this extra bullshyat. TRUST.

* I let the Genie outta the bottle and it was hard getting her back in, but I managed. Whew!

* I now know why they don't put clocks in the exhibitor hall...it would sheer torture to watch.