So, I spent a long time on the phone with a long time friend who tried to give me a new perspective on the Claymation Part 2 Rant. She tried to explain to me that the FireMarshall & I had been friends with this couple for so long that I should not have let something like this come between us. I should have not taken it so personally. That I should has evaluated the relationship over all of those years and given the benefit of the doubt...that what I took offense to; when I put it up against all of the years we have been friends, I should have known that they meant no harm and did not have the intention that I took it for.I let that wash over me. I decided to think on what she said and to see if there was validity to her council...cause she is part of my Top Mafia...cause she is wiser than her years and I trust her. Her additional council was to convene a meeting with Jack or Jose Cuervo and see what clarity they might bring to the situation.
You know what, my Top Mafia counselor had a point. Jose made me calm. Perhaps I was a little hasty with the beat down. Perhaps I was a little fast on the draw with concluding a personal insult. I will admit that I have might have put some other past baggage on top of this situation and called it a final straw.
I don't know that I am at the point where I am ready to apologize though. If this was a situation where I had a falling out with one of my Top Mafia, I think it would have been an altogether different situation. See, I talk to my really good friends on a regular. I see my really good friends on a regular. Even the one's that are in different states. We have a line of communication that transcends borders and maintains a relationship.
That, my readers, is the difference. With the alleged claymation relationship, that friendship fell off the minute we stopped participating in "the business". You see, they had a lot to do. They had to focus on that and we had to be fitted in. I understand, but no matter how busy we have been, we have always been able to pick up the phone, email, or occasionally talk to our busy, life building friends. To me, there was a significant difference.
On top of that, I'm not a guy. I can't just pick up where I left of with you 6 years ago, as if nothing ever transpired. I've seen my husband do it. I can't. My flaw. I accept it and that is why I give attention to the relationships I want to maintain. For instance, we have friends that live on the West Coast. We love them, but don't get to see them hardly at all. I know that they read the blog, so I know we are communicating in a certain way. I also make it a point to send them notes/emails from time to time...cause I want to maintain a relationship with people we love. The FireMarshall had to be out their way in a couple of months and the first thing he said to me was "Let's go and stop in to see our friends, remind me to check and see if they are in." (They will know now, LOL)....My point with all that, is no matter how busy, no matter how stressed; we make the time for the people we love even if it is just an email saying "I'm thinking of you."
I'm just not ready to apologize for something I'm honestly not sorry for, yet. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'd give it to any of my Top Mafia with no questions asked. I am a passionate, strong, opinionated woman. It comes across to some as emotional; to some as byatchy; to those who know and love me as having a passion for life and loving (maybe smothering) those with it. SHOOT ME.
It is quite possible that I read more into the situation than it was and went off the deep end for it. Anything is possible. But until we all can sit down together and get that elephant that is in the room OUT and the air cleared, I think we are going to be at an impasse.
What do you have to say?
