"What Part of NO....

...did you effing NOT understand, the N or the O? Why must you make me get all ugly with you."

That is the last sentence I said to the 3rd and final "sales person" at the "FREE" weekend trip in Williamsburg, VA (ain't shyat for free people - there is always a price) we are traveling back from as I type. The FireMarshall intervened cause he knew I was about to snap crazy on his acne riddled unfortunate face if he put one more MFn' offer in my face. "Look man, you might want to wrap this up and give the woman her $200 before she loses her pleasantness." Acne man slid a referral form to me and I looked at him with laser beams that would have done a better job on that face than anything he was currently working with. Seeing the smoke rising, he gave it to the FireMarshall, who for safety sake, doused the man in a winning smile and proceeded to give a bunch of names with unreachable/unreliable/non-existent phone numbers. Good for you, cause I ain't bout to get jack slapped by my friends.

Let me just tell you how crazy & desperate these people are: The initial presentation started at a price of 50K, went to 24K, then with a possible trade credit, 14K. When we told him that this was not a good time economically/financially to be purchasing ANOTHER week, the price then dropped to 11K. Seriously. We walked out the door to go pick up our gift & hotel credit and were met by AcneMan who made one last offer of 6k.

(*even Cara pointed out how bad his acne was - "Mommie, that man's got spots all over his face." DAMN)

Please tell me again how valuable this property is. Really. In BORING AZZ Williamsburg. I'm sure it suits some people's cup of tea. But for this clan, once you visit Colonial Williamsburg, you've done it. The only thing redeemable about the place after that is the shopping. Great outlets and stuff. We ran into a couple on the BORING AZZ Christmas Decorations Tour (which was nothing like what I thought it was going to be) that have been there 36 freakin times. TO DO WHAT? We just shook our heads, left the tour about 20 min into it, got back on the bus and went shopping.

The Tour was about how the Colonials decorated for Christmas back in the day and how the artists recreate that look. WHAT LOOK? And who cares. I was done.
Now don't get me all wrong and start yelling hypocrite and ish. I do own 4 units (3 Starwood Properties & 1 unit in Florida). We have traveled around the world with the trading power, star.op.tions, star.po.ints, & exchanges our ownership has afforded us. You best be serious about traveling, plan on doing it every year, and know how to work ebay (I sell weeks each year, for the ones I don't use) to make it worthwhile. OR DON'T DO IT. There are some other things you need to look for (Deeded, Red Time, Flexible etc) or you could be in for some shocks and disappointments. I haven't had a disappointing moment yet. But we've done our homework. You do yours.

When you have stayed at a Starwood Property, this stuff they were showing us in Williamsburg was slummin' - plain and simple. There was NOTHING you could tell me that would have changed my mind and when you still tried to work out financing and come up with a payment that would "work" for us - EVEN AFTER I TOLD YOU I WAS CURRENTLY UNEMPLOYED - like sans job. I WAS DONE! What kind of fool did they take me for. There is no payment plan except FREE (and this is no such thing). I will not get into debt for you or anybody else, unless that item is an ASSET and generates revenue. Idjits.

Now the freakin kicker was the stalker moment we had outside the I.H.op this morning. The FireMarshall is on the phone with one of his business partners telling him about our Timeshare Adventure and this woman is standing outside listening to his conversation. She makes some comment about how that sounded crazy to her too. We smile and walk into pancake heaven to eat. Forgot all about that woman.

After consuming our panny-cakes, we walk out and there is StalkerBabe who turns out to be a TimeshareStalker. She walks up to us and starts talking all fast, asking about our experience and offers us ANOTHER $200 if we would come over and hear about a much "better product" than what we just saw. R U KIDDING ME. I ran for the car, Cara screaming "Mommie, don't leave me!" Every man for themselves. The FireMarshall is just so damn polite. I don't know what he said to her, but he took some piece of paper from her, jumped in the van and pulled out.

Da Hell we were going to another freakin presentation. I just can't take it anymore.

We survived and still have our sanity and money intact. How about you? Do you have any Timeshare Horror Stories?